Ashes To Ashes
A Lento71 total reviews
Comment from cvcopac
Wow--just like the story my mom read me when I was a little boy, ripe with revenge and success. Reads great and I enjoyed. Best of luck in the contest. cvc
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
  |
Wow--just like the story my mom read me when I was a little boy, ripe with revenge and success. Reads great and I enjoyed. Best of luck in the contest. cvc
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Much appreciate the time to read and review my work. I enjoyed my little romp in the Dark Side.
-
I love reading that kinda stuff. If you're a good writer, which you are, that's a plus.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend this is very well written the story unfolds very naturally with great imagery I enjoyed well done and good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
Hello my friend this is very well written the story unfolds very naturally with great imagery I enjoyed well done and good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you Jill, I really enjoy trying to put old stories out there with a bit of a twist in the tale (pun intended) I'm glad you liked it.--Wendy
Comment from Cornetist
Well, how many superlatives can I come up with? Hmm...Maybe I'll just let 6 stars be the indication of just how much I liked this poem. It is marvelous, to say the least, Beautifully written, beautifully rhymed and metered. A distinct pleasure to read. I find it quite amazing how you handle the difficult requirements of the form - which I have met for the first time here at your poem - Handling rhyme is difficult, at best, and unless cautiously applied, can result in a whiney, sing-song parody of poetry. All of that is avoided in the clever and adept way you painted your rhymes. In an almost unbelievable manner, you have made an old story fresh and new even though I recognized it to be the Cinderella tale before I finished the first stanza.
Well done! Superbly written!
Cornetist
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
 |
Well, how many superlatives can I come up with? Hmm...Maybe I'll just let 6 stars be the indication of just how much I liked this poem. It is marvelous, to say the least, Beautifully written, beautifully rhymed and metered. A distinct pleasure to read. I find it quite amazing how you handle the difficult requirements of the form - which I have met for the first time here at your poem - Handling rhyme is difficult, at best, and unless cautiously applied, can result in a whiney, sing-song parody of poetry. All of that is avoided in the clever and adept way you painted your rhymes. In an almost unbelievable manner, you have made an old story fresh and new even though I recognized it to be the Cinderella tale before I finished the first stanza.
Well done! Superbly written!
Cornetist
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and write a thoughtful review of my work. I must admit, I was a bit daunted by what seemed to be stiff requirements for the form but was amazed at how truly easy it was to get into the writing. That doesn't mean that I didn't poke and prod, twist and turn, fold spindle and mutilate it for two days before I let it go. You should try it. It was a great deal of fun. I love puzzles and this form creates quite a few. I popped over and took a look at Mary and her iambs and was charmed. Your words are much appreciated, as is the sixth star. Theatre buff? Former performer? Musician? Sousa's Marching Band?Do tell.
Comment from Khione Lock
Beautiful. A very different portrayal of the childish tale we all know from disney. I love the Grimm version, much more dark and mysterious. This was mysterious and dark as well, a different kind of pretty. The rhymes were well paced and you did a marvelous job. An awesome tale.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
Beautiful. A very different portrayal of the childish tale we all know from disney. I love the Grimm version, much more dark and mysterious. This was mysterious and dark as well, a different kind of pretty. The rhymes were well paced and you did a marvelous job. An awesome tale.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you so much for the read and review of my work. While the Grimm version was my first, I do remember nightmares and my father also told the one where the sisters enchanted shoes made them dance to their death. Think I'll share the Disney with my Grandson. . .I appreciate knowing what you thought of the poem and of course, that sixth star.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, rosehill, you did an excellent job writing this ending of cinderella's stepsisters, i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best ofl uck in the contest
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
this is very well written, rosehill, you did an excellent job writing this ending of cinderella's stepsisters, i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best ofl uck in the contest
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you so much for the read and review. The dark telling is more in line with the Brothers Grimm and another similar old folktale from Sweden than Disney. I kind of jumped in between the two oldest versions. Thank you for the wishes and the stars.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for posting this wonderful example of a Lento--I'm still hoping to find the time and energy (I've been battling a bad cold and sciatica) to enter your contest. I enjoyed your retelling of the old fairytale with fresh echoing sounds and alliteration. I admired your alternating rhymes and the foreboding ending. Best wishes in the voting booth. -Joan
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
Thank you for posting this wonderful example of a Lento--I'm still hoping to find the time and energy (I've been battling a bad cold and sciatica) to enter your contest. I enjoyed your retelling of the old fairytale with fresh echoing sounds and alliteration. I admired your alternating rhymes and the foreboding ending. Best wishes in the voting booth. -Joan
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Oh, I hope you feel better Joan. Those colds do hang around far too long and the sciatica is something I suffered through during pregnancy, so I do empathize. I am looking forward to everyone's entry so that health wish is also selfish. It really is a fun form. I appreciate your thorough review and for telling me what you noticed in the work. The six is awfully nice too.
-
Thank you for commiserating and for your sense of humor as well. The stars are well deserved. Cheers- Joan
Comment from visionary1234
Wendy, this is FABULOUS!!! You write in flawless rhyme & rhythm - I'm in AWE!!! Baking all those muffins must be good for your syllable counting and rhyming skills dear!!! A very well deserved '6' - love the evil Cinderella!!!
:) Sharyn
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
Wendy, this is FABULOUS!!! You write in flawless rhyme & rhythm - I'm in AWE!!! Baking all those muffins must be good for your syllable counting and rhyming skills dear!!! A very well deserved '6' - love the evil Cinderella!!!
:) Sharyn
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you, fellow muffin baker and I think is was all those years singing Cole Porter and Johnny Mercer that did it. . .or maybe the muffins. I appreciate the read, the review and of course, the lovely sixth star.--Wendy
Comment from justatuna
Honestly, this is not my style of poetry, but this was wonderful. What an absolutely intelligent write. I can offer no advice for improvement. If I had a 6 it would be yours. I mean that. This was great.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
Honestly, this is not my style of poetry, but this was wonderful. What an absolutely intelligent write. I can offer no advice for improvement. If I had a 6 it would be yours. I mean that. This was great.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my words. It is highly stylized, but was a fun exercise. I'll take a raincheck on the six ;)
Comment from steevie
From what i can tell quickly, it appears that you have indeed followed the given rules for the said contest. It was not really my kind of poem, as I am not into fantasy, however with that being said, I thought you made a fine write with the topic.
All the best in the contest
steve
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
From what i can tell quickly, it appears that you have indeed followed the given rules for the said contest. It was not really my kind of poem, as I am not into fantasy, however with that being said, I thought you made a fine write with the topic.
All the best in the contest
steve
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.
-
you're welcome
steve
Comment from wordsareus
It is better than the Disney version! I always like to read modern versions of classic poems or fairy tales. You did a great job.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
|
It is better than the Disney version! I always like to read modern versions of classic poems or fairy tales. You did a great job.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2012
-
Thanks so much. I eagerly await the rest of the entries. It is going to be an interesting contest. And thanks for the extra star.--Wendy