Sarah
Share A Story In A Poem Contest Submission60 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
A work of fiction but unfortunately, for some, very much non fiction. This is a very sad story, and horrendous story, but one that keeps cropping up. You have written it with frightening description, it is very well written, and needs to be read. xsx
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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A work of fiction but unfortunately, for some, very much non fiction. This is a very sad story, and horrendous story, but one that keeps cropping up. You have written it with frightening description, it is very well written, and needs to be read. xsx
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much sandramitchell, for reading and reviewing...your words are too true...blessings.
Comment from the blue pixel
I am so glad to hear that you don't know this person, or worse, are this person but this story is all too familiar. It's difficult to imagine any jury convicting a young girl who has been driven to fear to such an extent that she trusts only a bullet to end her pain. Your poem is told exactly as a story should be with a beginning, a middle and an end and though this may sound obvious, not all stories in a poem manage to contain this requirement. Yours was both sad, poignant and powerful all at once and is sadly, topical. I know we are both competitors in this contest and I wish you all the best in the contest. The Blue Pixel
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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I am so glad to hear that you don't know this person, or worse, are this person but this story is all too familiar. It's difficult to imagine any jury convicting a young girl who has been driven to fear to such an extent that she trusts only a bullet to end her pain. Your poem is told exactly as a story should be with a beginning, a middle and an end and though this may sound obvious, not all stories in a poem manage to contain this requirement. Yours was both sad, poignant and powerful all at once and is sadly, topical. I know we are both competitors in this contest and I wish you all the best in the contest. The Blue Pixel
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you The Blue Pixel, for reading and reviewing...I appreciate your words...good luck to you as well in the contest...blessings.
Comment from ameen786
Hello Idamarty, my friend, a gravitating story that although, fictional as you said, but crimes/sins like these are facts of life in our society today; you did a great job in telling the story in poetic style with great rhyme and rhythm, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Hello Idamarty, my friend, a gravitating story that although, fictional as you said, but crimes/sins like these are facts of life in our society today; you did a great job in telling the story in poetic style with great rhyme and rhythm, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you ameen786, for reading and reviewing...blessings to you and yours.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I am glad it is a fictional story though we all know too many children live with this abuse. Love the artwork you have chosen,it compliments your story perfectly. A good read.
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I am glad it is a fictional story though we all know too many children live with this abuse. Love the artwork you have chosen,it compliments your story perfectly. A good read.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from rightforyou
Well then
I enjoyed this story / poem and think that you have created a fine entry for the contest... so much for a fair trial..I can't imagine that these stories are reality for some of these young children..The further we as a nation and a world stray from the teachings of the lord the more of these stories will be told. So sad too bad.....Ron
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Well then
I enjoyed this story / poem and think that you have created a fine entry for the contest... so much for a fair trial..I can't imagine that these stories are reality for some of these young children..The further we as a nation and a world stray from the teachings of the lord the more of these stories will be told. So sad too bad.....Ron
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Your words are so true Ron...someone once told me that we live in a Godless society and he was right...thank you for your words...blessings.
Comment from Jewell McChesney
You tell a haunting tale with a poignant twist at the en dI wish you the best of luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing this sad tale and your vivid imagination.
Jewell
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You tell a haunting tale with a poignant twist at the en dI wish you the best of luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing this sad tale and your vivid imagination.
Jewell
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
This is one of the most powerful and emotion filled piece of poetry that I have read in quite a while.
You bring the readers through the gamut of emotions suffered by Sarah. It is incredible that children have experience this abuse from a father. These ass wipes have no reason to draw another breath.
Great choice of artwork and a great contest entry. You have my vote for sure,,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This is one of the most powerful and emotion filled piece of poetry that I have read in quite a while.
You bring the readers through the gamut of emotions suffered by Sarah. It is incredible that children have experience this abuse from a father. These ass wipes have no reason to draw another breath.
Great choice of artwork and a great contest entry. You have my vote for sure,,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much Jim, for the six stars and your words...blessings.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an absolutely serious poem that we have here old sport. Well done with this splendid work and good luck in the contest.
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This is an absolutely serious poem that we have here old sport. Well done with this splendid work and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from lyssmartin
I REALLY enjoyed this poem. I immediately connected to the girl and her struggles. You do an incredible job bringing the reader in and then resolving the story. I think the beginning needs a bit more work on the flow, but over all the poem is really good! Great job!
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I REALLY enjoyed this poem. I immediately connected to the girl and her struggles. You do an incredible job bringing the reader in and then resolving the story. I think the beginning needs a bit more work on the flow, but over all the poem is really good! Great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2012
Comment from jtaylor1969
I was deeply moved by this poem. The visuals did not get lost in the plot and vice verse. You have mixed story telling with vivid and moving images. My heart went out to the girl, yet I was uplifted at the end by the woman and mother she had become. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Yours,
JT
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I was deeply moved by this poem. The visuals did not get lost in the plot and vice verse. You have mixed story telling with vivid and moving images. My heart went out to the girl, yet I was uplifted at the end by the woman and mother she had become. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Yours,
JT
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2012