Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Chapter 9; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
74 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
I really liked this chapter. No nits, and good showing of Sara's having to work things out about Joe while she's under such stress. The two thugs might've left some evidence behind.
We wish you all the best with the chemotherapy. May the stuff attack the cancer cells and leave the rest of you alone. We've been blessed with never having cancer, but my wife was a nurse in a Panama City, Florida nursing home, and she saw such cases.
Dave
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Barbara,
I really liked this chapter. No nits, and good showing of Sara's having to work things out about Joe while she's under such stress. The two thugs might've left some evidence behind.
We wish you all the best with the chemotherapy. May the stuff attack the cancer cells and leave the rest of you alone. We've been blessed with never having cancer, but my wife was a nurse in a Panama City, Florida nursing home, and she saw such cases.
Dave
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you and your wife for your kind thoughts. I appreciate your review and your constant support.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara. Interesting chapter where little by little Sara knows about Joe and his job and try to balance things. You've painted a good picture about the men, and Dani is a good example for Sara. (I do hope you can overcome your fear for the chemo and trust that everything will be okay. Thursday, I will remember. It will be Friday over here.)
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Hi, Barbara. Interesting chapter where little by little Sara knows about Joe and his job and try to balance things. You've painted a good picture about the men, and Dani is a good example for Sara. (I do hope you can overcome your fear for the chemo and trust that everything will be okay. Thursday, I will remember. It will be Friday over here.)
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from allborn66
I hope all will go well with your chemo, and that you don't have a major negative reaction. I'm not sure why the shaving scene is in the story. Your dialogue seems to repeat information, and is just chatty. A little bit of editing would do wonders for the overall flow of the piece. The concept seems sound, just a little fine tuning is necessary.
Barbara
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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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I hope all will go well with your chemo, and that you don't have a major negative reaction. I'm not sure why the shaving scene is in the story. Your dialogue seems to repeat information, and is just chatty. A little bit of editing would do wonders for the overall flow of the piece. The concept seems sound, just a little fine tuning is necessary.
Barbara
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you
Comment from eliz100
This was a good read from beginning to end, as always. You are doing a good job with the tension in the story with Cassie gone and Sara not quite sure how she feels about Joe.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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This was a good read from beginning to end, as always. You are doing a good job with the tension in the story with Cassie gone and Sara not quite sure how she feels about Joe.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Another good addition to your book. I like this for a couple of reasons:
Both men chose to die instead of being questioned and possibly going to jail.
I like his style, and I like the way you wrote it.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Another good addition to your book. I like this for a couple of reasons:
Both men chose to die instead of being questioned and possibly going to jail.
I like his style, and I like the way you wrote it.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Thesis
You've captured the tension that is present in times like these. Words get confusing as you clearly point out in Sara's inability to say what she means. Now if you could only help her out with the wall color, we might be getting somewhere, lol. - John
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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You've captured the tension that is present in times like these. Words get confusing as you clearly point out in Sara's inability to say what she means. Now if you could only help her out with the wall color, we might be getting somewhere, lol. - John
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I think the painting issue will be solved at the same time Cassie's issue will be solved.
Comment from misscookie
I like this story it's so much like real life you go through tough times but as lone as your not alone it's not to bad
your story has a very loving and positive side.
And don't worry about the chemo. God did n't bring you this far to leave you now. so stay on praying grounds and my love and prayers are with you. my friend. untill we chat again take care.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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I like this story it's so much like real life you go through tough times but as lone as your not alone it's not to bad
your story has a very loving and positive side.
And don't worry about the chemo. God did n't bring you this far to leave you now. so stay on praying grounds and my love and prayers are with you. my friend. untill we chat again take care.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and wise advice.
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Your very welcome, take care.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
First let me say that chemo is not what is use to be. I think I told you I worked in the medical profession for years. Anyway I shouldn't minimize it but there are now drugs they will give you so you won't be nauseated. Not everyone loses their hair but those that do use wigs that look so real you really can't tell. Also I have seen some really cute hats and scarves. I know you hate doing this but the docs have to make sure there are no cancer cells left in your body. I will continue to pray and will ask that you have all the strength you need to get through this. Now to this chapter. I feel bad for Sara. I may have told you my husband was a cop and I worried every time he went to work...so I imagine Sara is feeling that, as well. I had to smile when I read "This wall will look good in Peppermint Vinca" Poor George! Well done and I hope you feel like posting while you are in treatment. Remember your fanstory friends are always near. God Bless....chey
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Hi Barbara,
First let me say that chemo is not what is use to be. I think I told you I worked in the medical profession for years. Anyway I shouldn't minimize it but there are now drugs they will give you so you won't be nauseated. Not everyone loses their hair but those that do use wigs that look so real you really can't tell. Also I have seen some really cute hats and scarves. I know you hate doing this but the docs have to make sure there are no cancer cells left in your body. I will continue to pray and will ask that you have all the strength you need to get through this. Now to this chapter. I feel bad for Sara. I may have told you my husband was a cop and I worried every time he went to work...so I imagine Sara is feeling that, as well. I had to smile when I read "This wall will look good in Peppermint Vinca" Poor George! Well done and I hope you feel like posting while you are in treatment. Remember your fanstory friends are always near. God Bless....chey
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your encouragement, I needed it. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
First things first .... and yes, I am sure that we will all be supporting you through thought and prayer during your first chemo session. Don't hesitate to hold on to that medal which I sent to you, remember? It was through just such a blessed medal that my son's foot was healed just before Doctors were due to amputate it.
In this chapter of your book, you describe well the turmoil in which Sara finds herself, constantly waiting for and expecting news of Cassie.
I have given you 5 stars, trusting that you will
consider the few changes recommended ...
* You have - "I'm not." He attempted, walking past ....
I suggest - "I'm not," he said, walking past ....
* You have - Like you would anyway." I suggest -
"As if you would anyway."
* You have - I better think this through while I paint.
I suggest - I had better think this through.
Now, I look forward to the second part of this chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
First things first .... and yes, I am sure that we will all be supporting you through thought and prayer during your first chemo session. Don't hesitate to hold on to that medal which I sent to you, remember? It was through just such a blessed medal that my son's foot was healed just before Doctors were due to amputate it.
In this chapter of your book, you describe well the turmoil in which Sara finds herself, constantly waiting for and expecting news of Cassie.
I have given you 5 stars, trusting that you will
consider the few changes recommended ...
* You have - "I'm not." He attempted, walking past ....
I suggest - "I'm not," he said, walking past ....
* You have - Like you would anyway." I suggest -
"As if you would anyway."
* You have - I better think this through while I paint.
I suggest - I had better think this through.
Now, I look forward to the second part of this chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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I will make the changes, but although the changes are correct, the ones in dialogue I am wondering about. When speaking people often don't use correct grammar.
Comment from adewpearl
I just love the part about painting - this is all so intense, and to have this special forces guy, George, engaging her in painting therapy just completely endears him to me and lightens up the story just enough. You handle the Joe/Sara tension extremely well, too - as in so many relationships, it really is difficult to know how to say sorry, how to get things back to where you want them. This is a truly excellent chapter, Barbara. Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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I just love the part about painting - this is all so intense, and to have this special forces guy, George, engaging her in painting therapy just completely endears him to me and lightens up the story just enough. You handle the Joe/Sara tension extremely well, too - as in so many relationships, it really is difficult to know how to say sorry, how to get things back to where you want them. This is a truly excellent chapter, Barbara. Brooke
Comment Written 24-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. COming from you, this means a lot. I know how excellent of an author you are.