Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Chapter 2 Part Two"Can love survive small town gossip?
70 total reviews
Comment from Belinda
The way you fill us in with information is great, Barbara. You've done it through the curiosity of a little girl, instead of telling it as it is. I might follow your lead some time ...:) The mention of Dani and Matt reminds me of 'old friends'. I enjoy reading this chapter, Barbara.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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The way you fill us in with information is great, Barbara. You've done it through the curiosity of a little girl, instead of telling it as it is. I might follow your lead some time ...:) The mention of Dani and Matt reminds me of 'old friends'. I enjoy reading this chapter, Barbara.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from bhogg
I think the post works o.k., certainly a good read. You have already built Joe's character pretty well, and there is the tension involving Sara. I know you have a challenge on writing each story that can be enjoyed stand alone, so no problems with this post to me. It also introduces Cassie in a new way as well.
You know me - I'm just hooked on Barbara Wilkey!
:) LOL Bill
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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I think the post works o.k., certainly a good read. You have already built Joe's character pretty well, and there is the tension involving Sara. I know you have a challenge on writing each story that can be enjoyed stand alone, so no problems with this post to me. It also introduces Cassie in a new way as well.
You know me - I'm just hooked on Barbara Wilkey!
:) LOL Bill
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. You are such a softy, but I like it.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a wonderful chapter with handsome Joe's picture...
I specially liked the excellent dialogue, so natural and casual and the great narrative as well. Congratulations for your terrific writing!
Well done Barbara,
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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This is a wonderful chapter with handsome Joe's picture...
I specially liked the excellent dialogue, so natural and casual and the great narrative as well. Congratulations for your terrific writing!
Well done Barbara,
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jclark
If you are painting Joe as a playful, funny, big hearted and caring guy...you did it perfectly. The interaction among the three of them worked very well. You also did a very good job with Cassie's personality. She is bright, inquisitive and very close to her mother; it would appear.
I was a little confused between Joe's comment, "I heard you tell Cassie...." and Sara responding with, "You've seen my car..." Not sure if his comment required a response or if Sara intentionally did not answer him..
At any rate, it was a good chapter and I enjoyed reading it.
Judy
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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If you are painting Joe as a playful, funny, big hearted and caring guy...you did it perfectly. The interaction among the three of them worked very well. You also did a very good job with Cassie's personality. She is bright, inquisitive and very close to her mother; it would appear.
I was a little confused between Joe's comment, "I heard you tell Cassie...." and Sara responding with, "You've seen my car..." Not sure if his comment required a response or if Sara intentionally did not answer him..
At any rate, it was a good chapter and I enjoyed reading it.
Judy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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I will go back and check that area. I wanted to show Sara being concerned that her hair wasn't dry, but I was in Joe's POV. I guess it didn't come through. Thank you for your reveiw.
Comment from Teri7
I really enjoyed this chapter. I love stories that have military men in them and a woman back home or somewhere close. Great job. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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I really enjoyed this chapter. I love stories that have military men in them and a woman back home or somewhere close. Great job. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
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hugs
Comment from L.A.Tripp
Having not read the whole thing yet or knowing the story or characters, I can say that yes, this chapter definitely works. It's very well written, the characters shine through and it kept my attention. Just what it should do ;)
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Having not read the whole thing yet or knowing the story or characters, I can say that yes, this chapter definitely works. It's very well written, the characters shine through and it kept my attention. Just what it should do ;)
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate it.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
This chapter works very well for me. You have just enough facts about Joe's life to make him very interesting but still a little mysterious. That is a good thing in any story. You leave me wanting more and I am hoping Sara and Joe get together but I am prepared for a surprise or an event that will harm their budding relationship! Well done. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi Barbara,
This chapter works very well for me. You have just enough facts about Joe's life to make him very interesting but still a little mysterious. That is a good thing in any story. You leave me wanting more and I am hoping Sara and Joe get together but I am prepared for a surprise or an event that will harm their budding relationship! Well done. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. There will be an event that shakes their relationship.
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Oh dang...I just knew it!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, it's a good storyline. i enjoyed the one on one between Joe and the daughter. i think it worked well with the other chapters. see you at the next post
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, it's a good storyline. i enjoyed the one on one between Joe and the daughter. i think it worked well with the other chapters. see you at the next post
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Not only does Joe and Sara's relationship need to cemented. I need to establish one between Joe and Cassie.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Seems the Colonel is getting to know the lady at last and she's beginning to weaken as well. Well written and your dialogues are very good.
Patrick
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi Barbara,
Seems the Colonel is getting to know the lady at last and she's beginning to weaken as well. Well written and your dialogues are very good.
Patrick
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from adewpearl
Mom won't allow me call - let me call or allow me to call
The picture looks pretty darned good to me. LOL I like this chapter - it demonstrates that they're still in that slightly awkward beginning stage but each one is far more than casually interested - the part about her caring enough to be jealous and his caring enough to care that she's jealous pretty much says it all. I also like the scene with her 8th grade daughter before Mom appears - it says a lot about his personality/character outside of a romantic relationship, the way he interacts with her. Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Mom won't allow me call - let me call or allow me to call
The picture looks pretty darned good to me. LOL I like this chapter - it demonstrates that they're still in that slightly awkward beginning stage but each one is far more than casually interested - the part about her caring enough to be jealous and his caring enough to care that she's jealous pretty much says it all. I also like the scene with her 8th grade daughter before Mom appears - it says a lot about his personality/character outside of a romantic relationship, the way he interacts with her. Brooke
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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I took care of that sentence. I thought this post needed at little push. Thank you for your review and continued support. I appreciate both.