Fresh Breath
Fresh, deep, breath.77 total reviews
Comment from Gianinas
Did this actually happen? because the imagination would have to be too vivid to invent such a thing. I saw it happen once to someone, with a glass of wine, and wasp. No joke! Good Luck in your contest, subject surely is intriguing.
Gianina
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Did this actually happen? because the imagination would have to be too vivid to invent such a thing. I saw it happen once to someone, with a glass of wine, and wasp. No joke! Good Luck in your contest, subject surely is intriguing.
Gianina
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Gianina, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. The idea came from a day playing golf. I picked up a beer can and took a big swig to find out a bee had gotten in it. I keep trying to spit it out, and it kept trying to fly down my throat. It stung me in my throat and I barely got to the emergency room before it had swollen shut. It was actually a close call. Thanks, again. :-)
Comment from Ogden
That's awful (not your poem)! Breathing in and swallowing a fly!
Your "Air Poem" is funny, rhymes, and meets the syllable requirements of the prompt, so you're in the race.
However, I (and possibly other folks) have no idea what "Bug guts pie" means. I suggest that you consider coming up with something else.
You're welcome to these lines:
MY pie, fly! No pie! (sigh!) "Shoo Fly Pie" was a popular song a thousand years ago, and, to some, it might seem like a very good finish.
Good luck in the contest, whatever you decide.
Don
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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That's awful (not your poem)! Breathing in and swallowing a fly!
Your "Air Poem" is funny, rhymes, and meets the syllable requirements of the prompt, so you're in the race.
However, I (and possibly other folks) have no idea what "Bug guts pie" means. I suggest that you consider coming up with something else.
You're welcome to these lines:
MY pie, fly! No pie! (sigh!) "Shoo Fly Pie" was a popular song a thousand years ago, and, to some, it might seem like a very good finish.
Good luck in the contest, whatever you decide.
Don
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Don, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words, suggestions, and generous review are greatly appreciated. Bug guts pie is what I actually ate when the fly went down my throat. Although, in real life it wasn't a fly, it was a bee, that stung me in the throat. It caused my throat to swell shut and I barely made to the hospital in time. :-)
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That's infinitely worse than swallowing a fly!
Thank God you pulled through!
Now I understand bug guts pie. Do you think the voters will?
Good luck!
Don
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No, most won't catch it and I don't have a chance, but who cares. I'm just having fun, hoping to make someone smile or laugh, and thankful for those who do. Thanks, Don, I appreciate your reply, and I'm glad I got to explain it. I tried to steal a laugh and almost made myself sick. :-)
Comment from dragonpoet
The pie looks very good. But the description in the poem makes you want to throwup. I bet it wouldn't smell good enough to want to take a deep breath of.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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The pie looks very good. But the description in the poem makes you want to throwup. I bet it wouldn't smell good enough to want to take a deep breath of.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Dragonpoet, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Fortunately, the pie is just used as a symbol as I'm describing swallowing the fly's bug guts. Thank goodness it didn't really happen with a fly. It was a bee, and it almost killed me. :-)
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You're welcome. I thought the pie was just for fun.
Are you allergic to bees and so that's why swallowing one almost killed you.
dp
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Yes, it was all for fun. We can always find a reason to laugh about something when it's over, it's just at the time, maybe it's not so funny. LOL! I wasn't allergic to bee stings, but I have since learned that if one stings you inside your mouth, it can be life threatening for almost anyone. I was playing golf when it happened, and the foursome needed my drives, so I stayed for another hole. Never thinking it was a big deal. Then, I couldn't breath, and went unconscious upon entering the emergency center. But as luck would have it, I was able to get a couple shot and a tube down my throat to save the day. I went back, against doctor's orders, and played the last five holes of the tournament. And we won! But with this poem, I was only trying to steal a laugh, and ended up almost making myself sick. Of course, now that's funny, too. I appreciate you! :-)
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Sorry to here of your interesting perdicament. Glad it turned out for the best. You must be a very avid golfer to return after being let out of the emergency room.
dp
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I was just tougher than I was smart. Should have gone home and went to bed. I ended up feeling like hell for a week. LOL! Isn't it a shame we don't start learning the right things to do until we get older? I was a slow learner. Drinking, fighting, and chasing women was all I cared about. Then when I got drunk, I got in trouble. When I got into a fight, I got in trouble. When I got the woman, I soon wished I could give her back. But that didn't work either, because the next gal was more aggravation that the one before her. LOL! Thanks, my new friend, for listening. Have a wonderful day!
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Glad you learned your lesson. Hope women aren't as aggravating as they used to be.
dp
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No, DP, I don't have as much trouble with women these days. I have finally learned that most of the problems were because of me. My first wife was always mad because I came home every night at 3 or 4 the next morning, drunk, with lipstick all over me. I finally learned she wasn't just dull of understanding. LOL! I appreciate you! :-)
Comment from Bollie
How funny. This is a really clever and creative poem. It's always good when you can write a really short poem and be very funny or very profound. Really good job. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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How funny. This is a really clever and creative poem. It's always good when you can write a really short poem and be very funny or very profound. Really good job. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Bollie, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I tried to grab a laugh, and almost made myself sick. :-)
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You're very welcome. Have a wonderful day.
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You're very welcome. Have a wonderful day.
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You're very welcome. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from dmt1967
The picture looks good enough to eat lol, but the words put me off lol. Bug gut pie, how disgusting lol. I liked this little poem very much. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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The picture looks good enough to eat lol, but the words put me off lol. Bug gut pie, how disgusting lol. I liked this little poem very much. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, dmt1967, for taking time to read my poem. Your comments and generous review are greatly appreciated. I tried to steal a laugh, and almost made myself sick. :-)
Comment from EricBrady
It was delicious until I found out what it was. Makes me think of my youngest daughter. Hilarious piece and we'll chosen words. Rules have been followed . Best wishes on the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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It was delicious until I found out what it was. Makes me think of my youngest daughter. Hilarious piece and we'll chosen words. Rules have been followed . Best wishes on the contest.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, EricBrady, for taking time to read my poem. I wanted to steal a laugh and almost made myself sick doing it. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from robina1978
An excellent photo of a pie, looks tasty. Till you read your tiny poem. I think your poem is creative but I did not completely understand. Breath is mentioned, and then a fly got swallowed. Bet wishes for the prompt.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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An excellent photo of a pie, looks tasty. Till you read your tiny poem. I think your poem is creative but I did not completely understand. Breath is mentioned, and then a fly got swallowed. Bet wishes for the prompt.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Robina1978, for taking time to read my poem. It's saying that I took a "Fresh, deep, breath," and choked on a fly, the symbolized pie and swallowing bug gut. "Bug guts pie." In real life it wasn't a bug. It was a bee, and it almost killed me. :-)
Comment from mfowler
Lots of witty puns and an unfortunate occurrence underpin the humour of your poem and provide a great entry into the competition. The eater, apparently very ready for his/her feats, takes a great breath. But, a fly poops on the party and is swallowed. Done that, YUK! Choking, the poor eater can't face the treat. Hence, the fly or bug, guts the experience, stops the pie going to the guts. You have a lot going for this in only a few words. Well done. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Lots of witty puns and an unfortunate occurrence underpin the humour of your poem and provide a great entry into the competition. The eater, apparently very ready for his/her feats, takes a great breath. But, a fly poops on the party and is swallowed. Done that, YUK! Choking, the poor eater can't face the treat. Hence, the fly or bug, guts the experience, stops the pie going to the guts. You have a lot going for this in only a few words. Well done. Best of luck.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, MFowler, for taking time to read my poem. Not everyone seems to understand everything I'm trying to say or get across, so your understanding makes for my favorite review. I tried to steal a laugh and almost made myself sick. There is some truth in this story. But it wasn't a fly. A bee had gotten into my beer can while playing golf, and when I took a drink, it stung me in the throat causing it to swell shut. I made it to the hospital just in time. I appreciate you! :-)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yummy, one of my all-time faves, Big Guts Pie.
I put it right up there on the top of my list with blood pudding and mincemeat pie.
Dee-licious!
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Yummy, one of my all-time faves, Big Guts Pie.
I put it right up there on the top of my list with blood pudding and mincemeat pie.
Dee-licious!
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Dean, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I tried to steal a laugh and almost made myself sick. I've chased the fly on your screen for ten minutes trying to squish it, but the darn thing's quick. Great graphic work. I appreciate you! :-)
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Fly graphic?
I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about (LOL).
You're more than welcome.
~Dean :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
The picture of my favorite dessert drew me in, and then...EEeeeeeewwww! The thing about this brilliant little poem that makes it so hilarious is...(wait for it)...it HAPPENS! LOL!!! Remind me to write about my first time riding my motorcycle...(*grin*)
This is a wonderful entry for this prompt. Good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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The picture of my favorite dessert drew me in, and then...EEeeeeeewwww! The thing about this brilliant little poem that makes it so hilarious is...(wait for it)...it HAPPENS! LOL!!! Remind me to write about my first time riding my motorcycle...(*grin*)
This is a wonderful entry for this prompt. Good luck!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Dawn, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I tried to steal a laugh and almost made myself sick. I can hardly wait to hear your motorcycle story. There is usually a little truth in all stories. In this one, I didn't swallow a fly. It was a bee, and it almost killed me. Maybe some people might have found that more funny. :-)
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OMG - I almost killed my husband and myself when I was on the back of HIS motorcycle and a bee went down my pants! God's truth. We can laugh abut these things when they're past history I guess, but your story is is not funny - it's frightening!
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What are you talking about? There is nothing more frightening than having a bee in your pants! LOL! Thanks for sharing, and I'm sure I'll think about that every time I see you here from now on. HA HA!
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Hahahaha - I SCREAMED, and grabbed him - we nearly crashed, then there I was, when we finally got stopped, at the side of the highway dropping my drawers! HAHAHAHAHA! The amazing thing is I didn't get stung!
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But swallowing one is horrifying - stung on the inside for sure!
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HAHAHAHAH! I can see you now, standing beside the scooter with your pants down. LOL!
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Uh - Triumph 650. He'd be HORRIFIED. LOL.