Reviews from

Jerry Jing-Jang Comes to Town

A cowboy tale

74 total reviews 
Comment from Writingfundimension
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I totally enjoyed the story of Jerry Jing-Jang. What a great name - you come by your creativity naturally it seems. This should do very well in the contest - it is extremely well written and a great story! Good luck. Bev

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    I'm glad you enjoyed Jerry Jing-Jang. My dad told stories but he didn't write them, so now that's my job. I don't think they're exactly like he told them because neither of us remembers the details and I have to fill in a lot of blanks. If you like, you can check out 'Jerry Jing-Jang and the Cattle Rustlers' in my portfolio. Thanks for this great review.
reply by Writingfundimension on 24-May-2012
    Cindy, you are most welcome. I may just do that! Take care ... Bev
Comment from Bina1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a nice tribute to your dad! A very interesting poem, love the western theme! Good luck in the contest, I see you have already been "Recognized", congratulations!

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    Thanks for this wonderful review and the good wishes in the contest. I'm glad you enjoyed my story poem.
Comment from Carole Rosa
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cindy, Your poem story is so entertaining. I loved it and I smiled all the way through it. My father used to read western books. My Dad and I used to listen to cowboy programs on the radio. After we got a television, with a 10 inch screen, we watched Doc Holiday and all the other western shows too. Thanks for the memories. Great work. Carole

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    My dad told the stories, but neither of us remembers the details too well so I have to fill in a lot of blanks. I'm glad you found it entertaining. Thanks for this wonderful review.
Comment from TammyGail
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a wonderful poem this was Cindy
so very well written and expressed
heartfelt and creative
your imagery works perfectly
alongside your verse
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
best of luck in the contest

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    Thanks for the wonderful review and the good wishes for the contest. It was a fun poem to write.
Comment from ameen786
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Cindy, a wonderful story/poem and superb dedication to your father; excellent rhyme and rhythm makes this a delightful read. Please check the following for a typo:
Brash and bold, they learned to (TOO) late. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    I thought I'd fixed that. Thanks, Ill make sure it's fixed this time. I'm glad you liked my story poem. Thanks for the great review.
reply by ameen786 on 24-May-2012
    Hi Cindy, I forgot to mention that if you split the poem into quatrains, would make a better presentation, just a thought, thanks for sharing, good day.
Comment from artemis53
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a wonderful treat for my day. You most certainly can spin a tail and sure that you are appreciated around a campfire. Excellent piece!

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    I'm so glad you found it a treat to read! Thanks for this wonderful review.
Comment from gramalot8
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cindy, I love cowboy poetry. I wish I was better at it. You might like to visit my portfolio and read "Yodeling Cowboy" and tell me what you think. I loved Jerry Jing-Jang... what a clever last name. You must have had a lot of fun listening to your dad tell his Jerry adventures. Very good and thanks for sharing with us.

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    I'll check it out. I also have a short story about Jerry Jing-Jang in my portfolio. This was a fun poem to write. My dad's real name is Gerry, but I changed the first letter so kids could sound it out. Thanks for the great review.
Comment from squid152
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Amazing use of rhyming in this epic poem. I watched it like a movie as the story it told flowed off the lips of the writer and into their pen.

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    I'm glad you liked my little rhymes. Thanks for this wonderful review.
Comment from Lastamen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This character is worthy of a series of poems, short stories, and songs. I loved the back story of Jerry Jing-Jang being a figment of your Dad's imagination that he shared with you - that in itself is worthy of exposition. This overall poem is great although it is a bit haughty and off kilter in places. The meter and pacing is off in a couple of spots which disrupts the flow. Overall however, it is very good.

Till the last amen.

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    You can check out 'Jerry Jing-Jang and the Cattle Rustlers' in my portfolio if you like. Glad you like the character. Thanks for the five stars.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Loved the story/poem aspect of this write. The story itself was good and flowed well. Great rhyming and overall pulls the reader into the work.

I would suggest you put some line breaks in this blocking style of words. I think it would help the reader and the story tremendously.

Otherwise well done and good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen

 Comment Written 24-May-2012


reply by the author on 24-May-2012
    That's an idea. Thanks, I'll take a look at where I could put some breaks. Thanks for the great review. I'm glad you liked my story poem.