Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Chapter 1 Part Two"
Can love survive small town gossip?

67 total reviews 
Comment from vandawalker
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice pace! I like the "courtship" atmosphere in the story line and the give and take flirting of the two main characters. Keep it coming. Good writing.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I am glad the 'courtship' works.
Comment from lola29
Excellent
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Barbara, this is excellent writing, and it's so easy to become engaged in this story. I can't believe that after 15 years,the towns folks are still looking down their noses at Sarah. In all that time, no one else has made a mistake? At least she kept her baby.
He (used) to aggrevate the tar out of me

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. There are some more things going on that have caused this.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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Very good story and the action keeps me reading and enjoying every word. Your characters are very good and the dialog is excellent. Good job.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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This Joe Barnes seems a very nice,
understanding fellow and hopefully,
will bring a little fun and joy
into Sara's life.

"He use(d)


Margaret

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
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Hi Barbara - I'm already getting in to your story. You do a great job of building the characters and introduce just a bit of intrigue and mystery into the story. I look forward to the next read! Bill

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your review and your support.
Comment from dmjones
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent chapter. I like the relationship developing between Joe and Sara. He's a nice guy and she's a nice girl. Well done.

classic, just like it's (its) owner,"


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and support. I took care of the extra '.
Comment from Thesis
Excellent
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Joe is a stand-up guy. I agree with his comments that Sara needs to not be a victim. She needs to break away from what people think and live. - John

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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Hi dear friend.
This is a good chapter, setting the tone and small town environment, with realisic dialog and good flow.

However, I must be honest with you, it does not hold my attention (not your fault)--because romance does not interest me (I'm a nun you know! LOL). I'm not sure I am fit to critique this genre because I do not know it.

I did not notice any spag issues or blaring nits to note. The only suggestion that occurs to me is to comb through and trim slightly on the details.

The dialog, while sounding authentic, seems to slow the pace in a few spots (but that may be just me!)

I do like how you bring to light the narrow-mindedness of small town folk. I like the characters Joe and Sara.

Keep up the good work. Fogive me, dear, if I do not follow the whole book and don't think it relects on the writing. it's just my taste preference

Love, rd

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    I understand romance is not for everybody. I will take a look at some of the dialogue. Thank you for your review and your honesty.
reply by rama devi on 28-Jun-2010
    Thanks for your kind understanding dear, I was concerned it might hurt your feelings~ I can digest romance poetry or romance in a book but when the main theme is romance, well, it just doesn't hold interest enough. Still, I know many people DO enjoy it and do enjoy your book as well.
    If you like, I will be happy to review for spag issues (like if other people are not addressing those issues, so you get full-rounded feedback.

    I was so touched by your kind gesture of a lucky cert on my haiku that I 'paid it forward' and put one on someone else's work--and they were thrilled!

    Thanks for your loving heart.

    Blessings, rd
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    I would appreciate the review for SPAG, a reviewer just PMed me and told me my work is plagued with SPAC and he is wasting his time because I am not learning.
reply by rama devi on 28-Jun-2010
    That's not very friendly. Not everybody learns things quickly--and he is not necessarily 'right" either. (it dep3ends on who said that. There are some from whom I would accept that as helpful feedback, but only the experts!)

    I must confess I did not read a second time for spag--so will revisit this chapter and double check soon but my mind today is not in spag-gear for some reason and I am leaning towards poetry. When my spag specs are on (tomorrow perhaps) will re-review.

    Will keep reviewing your work for spag then, dear. just wanted to make sure you welcomed that first! Love, rd
Comment from ladybird
Excellent
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A nice follow on chapter where the reader learns more of the two character's past relationship. Joe and Sara seem to be getting along fine. I did find the part when they were discussing her car a little jarring. I guess you were trying to establish their ages for the reader, but is seemed very awkward. I did like the dialogue between the two, the reader can tell Joe is a bit of a tease.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    I used the car to establish their ages and Sara's financial status. Thank you for your review.
reply by ladybird on 28-Jun-2010
    you're welcome.
Comment from bookishfabler
Excellent
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Boy this is a small town if they haven't let go of a pregnanat teenager all these years later. Sara's family come straight out of a Norman Rockweell painting, they remind me of The Cunninghams on Happy Days. LOL. I like Sara. I had a 1971 Beetle. A love hate relationship. Nice job
hugs Book

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and support.