Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Innocent At Heart"Short Stories
72 total reviews
Comment from Phil Kitom
Well done Carol you have crafted this story
together well and brought someone back from the
dead. Great to see this bully get his come uppence
Good luck in contest...
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Well done Carol you have crafted this story
together well and brought someone back from the
dead. Great to see this bully get his come uppence
Good luck in contest...
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Phil,
Thank you for stopping by to read my thriller. Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles, CArol
Comment from eliz100
This is a very well-written story, of course. It was exciting to read from beginning to end. Your words pulled me into the story and did not let go until the end.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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This is a very well-written story, of course. It was exciting to read from beginning to end. Your words pulled me into the story and did not let go until the end.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Eliz,
Thank you very much for the kind review. From your words, I gather you enjoyed it very much. I hope you don't mind me asking what I need to do to improve it since the four stars indicates it needs adjustments. I'd be grateful if you steer me in the right direction. Smiles, CArol
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Sorry misclick I will fix it
Comment from koyoga
Great entry into the contest with tons and tons
of intrigue and drama. Nice twist to the
storyline having Megan undercover. Wonderful
writing. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Great entry into the contest with tons and tons
of intrigue and drama. Nice twist to the
storyline having Megan undercover. Wonderful
writing. Best of luck!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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koyoga,
Thank you so much for the terrific review. I really appreciate it as always. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from MizKat
Begin Again - I really like your story for the letter prompt, but then again your writing is always superb. There's only one thing I'd change. I'd take out one of the words sure in this line. Sure will miss the good times with that one, for sure. Kat
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Begin Again - I really like your story for the letter prompt, but then again your writing is always superb. There's only one thing I'd change. I'd take out one of the words sure in this line. Sure will miss the good times with that one, for sure. Kat
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Kat,
Did it! Hadn't even realized I repeated myself...Thanks! Appreciate the kind comments and stars. Smiles to you...Carol
Comment from patmedium
Well Mrs Woman, you certainly can write them, can't you? What an action-packed tale... can I tell you that you had MY heart going pitter patter as you climbed her up those stairs? Pat.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Well Mrs Woman, you certainly can write them, can't you? What an action-packed tale... can I tell you that you had MY heart going pitter patter as you climbed her up those stairs? Pat.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Pat,
I'm thrilled that my words put you in the moment. Thank you so much for the kind encouragement. Smiles to you, Carol
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It was a pleasure to read. Pat.
Comment from dmjones
Carol this is a good one. Very suspenseful from the very beginning to the end. I liked your characters, they developed quickly for complex ones. The pace was excellent. I didn't see anything I would change.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Carol this is a good one. Very suspenseful from the very beginning to the end. I liked your characters, they developed quickly for complex ones. The pace was excellent. I didn't see anything I would change.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Donna,
Glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate always hearing what you think about my stories...Thank you..Carol
Comment from fionageorge
Hi Carol, I really enjoyed this read. You have written a terrific entry into this contest, keeping me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end. The twists in the story are fantastic, and the characterisations well built.
Good luck in the contest. Hope things are going better for you. Warmest regards and hugs, Marijke
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Hi Carol, I really enjoyed this read. You have written a terrific entry into this contest, keeping me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end. The twists in the story are fantastic, and the characterisations well built.
Good luck in the contest. Hope things are going better for you. Warmest regards and hugs, Marijke
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Marijke,
Struggling, but just talked to Melyuki (Mel) by skype for over an hour, laughing and carrying on, so my spirits are lifted as usual. Thank you for asking...Glad you enjoyed the story and got involved with the characters. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Rama Rao
Excellent.
A very fine and well written story.
I'm sure this story is going to fetch you more laurels.
I was riveted until the last word.
However, I thought the words mindlessly and canvassed were not appropriate. You may consider changing them to avoid ambiguity.
I wondered where Louis, the owner was at.
At may be deleted.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Excellent.
A very fine and well written story.
I'm sure this story is going to fetch you more laurels.
I was riveted until the last word.
However, I thought the words mindlessly and canvassed were not appropriate. You may consider changing them to avoid ambiguity.
I wondered where Louis, the owner was at.
At may be deleted.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Ramarao,
Thank you for the kind review. Glad you enjoyed the story and thank you for your suggestions. Smiles to you, CArol
Comment from melyuki
hi there sis, another tantelating story from the master's hand.. the storyline moved along really well, sis. kept me in the now, wantng to know what was going to happen in the future, and so , with baited breath I read on, waiting for an outcome.. Not dispappointed either, a grand ending to a hairy litttle tale sis. well scirbed, you little ripper you. hugs from Melxxx
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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hi there sis, another tantelating story from the master's hand.. the storyline moved along really well, sis. kept me in the now, wantng to know what was going to happen in the future, and so , with baited breath I read on, waiting for an outcome.. Not dispappointed either, a grand ending to a hairy litttle tale sis. well scirbed, you little ripper you. hugs from Melxxx
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Sis,
Thanks for stopping by and chatting up my story. I appreciate it of course. Same as you, it was suggested I change two words - mindlessly and canvassed -- Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Alison Williams
Wonderful tale Carol. I thoroughly enjoyed it. what a fantastic ending, lots of tension, great dialogue, suspense and the baddy got caught! Even better!
Excellent. :)
I did have a few things I picked up.
"Oh God, Megan, is this Gator's doings? (doing? without the 's'?)
I scanned the area to see if anyone else was around to see me enter the house. Satisfied neither the police nor Gator's people were watching the house; (You have house here, I know its hard to find another word, but it reads too close together, maybe 'home' or dwelling or something? - And also it's almost as if you are saying the same thing twice though in different words)
Otherwise, wonderful. Cheers, Alison
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Wonderful tale Carol. I thoroughly enjoyed it. what a fantastic ending, lots of tension, great dialogue, suspense and the baddy got caught! Even better!
Excellent. :)
I did have a few things I picked up.
"Oh God, Megan, is this Gator's doings? (doing? without the 's'?)
I scanned the area to see if anyone else was around to see me enter the house. Satisfied neither the police nor Gator's people were watching the house; (You have house here, I know its hard to find another word, but it reads too close together, maybe 'home' or dwelling or something? - And also it's almost as if you are saying the same thing twice though in different words)
Otherwise, wonderful. Cheers, Alison
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Alison,
Thanks so much for your encouragement and pport. Smiles, Carol