Nightfall
We don't always end up with the one we want.51 total reviews
Comment from Earl Corp
This was nothing like I expected when I saw it was listed as spiritual fiction. I was expecting something religious. I think you did a good job talking about a jealous ghost. Very nice job.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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This was nothing like I expected when I saw it was listed as spiritual fiction. I was expecting something religious. I think you did a good job talking about a jealous ghost. Very nice job.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it so much. Thank you again and take care. :D
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a very good story. It was easy to follow even with no names for the characters. I loved the theme of the tortured soul unable to make the transition to another life until he became convinced that his love would be happy. Beautifully done.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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This was a very good story. It was easy to follow even with no names for the characters. I loved the theme of the tortured soul unable to make the transition to another life until he became convinced that his love would be happy. Beautifully done.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Jim. I appreciate your feedback, and I'm thrilled you enjoyed this story. Take care. :D
Comment from Wayne Fowler
The writing is superb. Hence the six stars.
But I have to say, I am not the melancholy, romantic type. But maybe I 'am' romantic in that I think the girl should have been true to herself and the dead boy and found someone else, rather than allow him to wear her down. (Notice I did not say 'win her over'.)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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The writing is superb. Hence the six stars.
But I have to say, I am not the melancholy, romantic type. But maybe I 'am' romantic in that I think the girl should have been true to herself and the dead boy and found someone else, rather than allow him to wear her down. (Notice I did not say 'win her over'.)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Wayne. I really appreciate your feedback. Take care too. :D
Comment from GWHARGIS
I liked that this was told through the eyes of the spirit. Despite still Bing in love with the mortal, he knows its time to go. His time is up. This was a very emotional story. You feel for all of them. Her because she lost a friend, the dead one because he sees that life goes on without him. And the one who caused his death with one stupid action. Bittersweet and heartbreaking. Gretchen
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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I liked that this was told through the eyes of the spirit. Despite still Bing in love with the mortal, he knows its time to go. His time is up. This was a very emotional story. You feel for all of them. Her because she lost a friend, the dead one because he sees that life goes on without him. And the one who caused his death with one stupid action. Bittersweet and heartbreaking. Gretchen
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Gretchen. I'm thrilled you liked this story. Yes, it was bittersweet and heartbreaking, but they didn't want it any other way. I enjoyed playing around with the spirit's POV as it allowed me to foreshadow and manipulate my words toward a surprising ending. Thank you again for your feedback; it's much appreciated. Take care. :D
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
A sad story of unrequited love. The agony and guilt of the girl is very well conveyed. It is only at the end that the ghost status is revealed. A very well constructed story!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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A sad story of unrequited love. The agony and guilt of the girl is very well conveyed. It is only at the end that the ghost status is revealed. A very well constructed story!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Sarah Das Gupta. I appreciate your feedback. Yes, it is a sad story, but these characters wanted it written.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is an outstanding story. It's poignant and I was immediately engrossed in your tale. At first, I wasn't all that fond of the narrator but I liked him at the end when his love won over his jealously. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2023
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This is an outstanding story. It's poignant and I was immediately engrossed in your tale. At first, I wasn't all that fond of the narrator but I liked him at the end when his love won over his jealously. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2023
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Awwwww, thank you, Mary Shiftman. Yes, I myself had some struggles with the narrator at first, but he, too, won me over with his love of his gal friend. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and enjoying. I appreciate it. :D
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You are welcome.
Comment from Karyn2
Oh this is fabulous writing! You captured my attention with every single word. I love the how the story unfolds not giving too much away until the reader realises with such a heavy heart at that poignant moment that he is a ghost. You capture the sorrow and heart ache of the girl in so much authentic detail. The reader truly grasps her pain. You are one incredible story teller and I am about to sign out and become a fan! The best story I've read on FS yet.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2023
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Oh this is fabulous writing! You captured my attention with every single word. I love the how the story unfolds not giving too much away until the reader realises with such a heavy heart at that poignant moment that he is a ghost. You capture the sorrow and heart ache of the girl in so much authentic detail. The reader truly grasps her pain. You are one incredible story teller and I am about to sign out and become a fan! The best story I've read on FS yet.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2023
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Good morning, Karyn2. Oh, thank you so much for your review and feedback! I'm thrilled that you loved my story so much. Take care. :D
Comment from pome lover
Well, I guess in one respect, this is a prime example of persistence paying off. He never gave up. Also the old saying, "Time heals all wounds," however I have a question: was he not at fault in the car crash, resulting in the protagonist's death? Wasn't he charged with anything by the police? He shouldn't have gone scott free. Also, the boy's parents would have probably sued - something. He should have had some form of punishment.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Well, I guess in one respect, this is a prime example of persistence paying off. He never gave up. Also the old saying, "Time heals all wounds," however I have a question: was he not at fault in the car crash, resulting in the protagonist's death? Wasn't he charged with anything by the police? He shouldn't have gone scott free. Also, the boy's parents would have probably sued - something. He should have had some form of punishment.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, pome lover. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I'll be honest; neither I nor my characters thought about that, and it's a valid question. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Take care. :D
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You're welcome. now that opens up all kinds of possibilities. He could end up watching another guy go after the girl and be in the same boat as your original guy. :)
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Yes, the possibilities are endless. With my characters, they tend to develop a life of their own and then they either tell me what I wanna know or stay silent. Somewhat weird but still fun too. Take care. :D
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understand. mine do, too. A fun challenge.
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Definitely a fun challenge. :D
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is well-written and absorbing. It was good you didn't tell us he was a ghost when it started. His love for her is obvious, but then we watch someone else approach her and we know he loves her as well. Then we learn about the dumb thing he did and can understand how hard for her it is to forgive him. As they say, time does heal all wounds, but hers took a lot of time.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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This is well-written and absorbing. It was good you didn't tell us he was a ghost when it started. His love for her is obvious, but then we watch someone else approach her and we know he loves her as well. Then we learn about the dumb thing he did and can understand how hard for her it is to forgive him. As they say, time does heal all wounds, but hers took a lot of time.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Carol Hillebrenner. Yes, her love for the second guy was a long time coming, but he never gave up on her. I wished it had a happier ending, but sometimes my characters develop a life of their own. :P Regardless, I loved writing this story, and I'm thrilled you enjoyed it too. Take care. :D :D
Comment from Nicki Nance
This story, with its embedded story, is compelling. You developed the relationship as though it was a character. Your straightforward writing style made it an easy read, yet it had depth.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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This story, with its embedded story, is compelling. You developed the relationship as though it was a character. Your straightforward writing style made it an easy read, yet it had depth.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Oh, wow! Thank you so much, Nicki Nance!!!!! I appreciate your feedback, and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed Nightfall so much. :D :D