Love Letter on a Napkin
The most important words you will ever say.38 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
This brought back so many memories of my first love years ago I was just eighteen and I was in love with a truck driver we were to be married and this happened to his truck one snowy night coming home. It is a dangerous job to drive a truck in the winter time. Years later I married my cowboy, we have been married 53 years.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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This brought back so many memories of my first love years ago I was just eighteen and I was in love with a truck driver we were to be married and this happened to his truck one snowy night coming home. It is a dangerous job to drive a truck in the winter time. Years later I married my cowboy, we have been married 53 years.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review review and kind comments. I am so glad you enjoyed it and were able to relate.
All my best,
Sally
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wow Sally! I am in tears with this tragic story and I have sad endings, but I knew it was coming. You told the story so well and you have the gift of story telling. There is a line that needs correction: He climbed (onto) or (into) his truck and immediately turned on his heater. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Wow Sally! I am in tears with this tragic story and I have sad endings, but I knew it was coming. You told the story so well and you have the gift of story telling. There is a line that needs correction: He climbed (onto) or (into) his truck and immediately turned on his heater. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the excellent review and kind comments. I catught a few errors already thanks to voice text. I appreciate your critique and seeing that one, my eyes are getting worse and I missed a few this time in my proofing.
All my best,
Sal
Comment from royowen
Such a sad, sad story Sally, unfortunately these things happen, fiction ot not, but a tenderly told story, you told it so well, the written imagery was quite realistic and graphic, (you've had some experience at this) downhill descents are particularly treacherous even on dry roads, well done, good major character, and a well told plot. Well done, Sally. Blesings, Roy
Typo : A smaller highway that (winded) through. Wound or wended? 2: a full load of (naval) oranges. Navel? 3: He pumped his (breaks) brakes? 4: an(d) old bridge. 5: Branson continued to (break) brake?
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Such a sad, sad story Sally, unfortunately these things happen, fiction ot not, but a tenderly told story, you told it so well, the written imagery was quite realistic and graphic, (you've had some experience at this) downhill descents are particularly treacherous even on dry roads, well done, good major character, and a well told plot. Well done, Sally. Blesings, Roy
Typo : A smaller highway that (winded) through. Wound or wended? 2: a full load of (naval) oranges. Navel? 3: He pumped his (breaks) brakes? 4: an(d) old bridge. 5: Branson continued to (break) brake?
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and kind comments. Your critique was helpful. My eyesight is getting worse and I use voice text more. Break and brake almost look the same to my poor ol eyes. Thank you so much. Navel came up the same way. Geeze! Thank goodness I have reviewers like you, a good friend.
All my best,
Sally
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Sorry about your eyesight Sally, I will, of course Pray,,
Comment from KatyM
WOW! You trying to make me cry? That was incredible. Very well written.
I did want to point out a couple of things I saw: 1) this sentence: He knew a guy, and his buddy gave him a great deal on a used truck with a rebuilt engine.
I would change the sentence just to say: My buddy, ......gave me a great deal on a used truck with a rebuilt engine or something to that affect. It's sounds like he knew a guy..but he was the guy's buddy or something...not real clear to me.
I did find a typo:He climbed nto(into) his truck and immediately turned on his heater.
I really loved this story! Once you fixed the suggestions or at least the typo I will come back and give you a 6 star. It was that good! katy
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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WOW! You trying to make me cry? That was incredible. Very well written.
I did want to point out a couple of things I saw: 1) this sentence: He knew a guy, and his buddy gave him a great deal on a used truck with a rebuilt engine.
I would change the sentence just to say: My buddy, ......gave me a great deal on a used truck with a rebuilt engine or something to that affect. It's sounds like he knew a guy..but he was the guy's buddy or something...not real clear to me.
I did find a typo:He climbed nto(into) his truck and immediately turned on his heater.
I really loved this story! Once you fixed the suggestions or at least the typo I will come back and give you a 6 star. It was that good! katy
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the excellent review review and critique. I appreciate you so much. My eyesight loss is continuing to decline and I use voice text more often. It misses things sometimes. I just caught into a few minutes ago. Thank you very much for bringing that to my attention.
All my best,
Sal
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Sally. I was engaged from start to finish with your story. You described the events in detail. I felt as if I were riding along in the truck, You characterized Branson well from his actions and thoughts--not just telling readers. Your story is poignant. This could have been a contest entry such as story in a poem.
Suggestions--or not--
He climbed nto (into) his truck and immediately
time, and was semi-truck assessable (accessible)
minute decision as he turned off the main throughway and onto a smaller highway that winded (wound) through the Poconos
Thank so for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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You did a great job, Sally. I was engaged from start to finish with your story. You described the events in detail. I felt as if I were riding along in the truck, You characterized Branson well from his actions and thoughts--not just telling readers. Your story is poignant. This could have been a contest entry such as story in a poem.
Suggestions--or not--
He climbed nto (into) his truck and immediately
time, and was semi-truck assessable (accessible)
minute decision as he turned off the main throughway and onto a smaller highway that winded (wound) through the Poconos
Thank so for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much for your excellent review and critique. My eyesight loss is growing worse and I could really see it here in this post. I used voice text more and had words that sounded alike come up?like accessible, and break verses brake. Got them all fixed thanks to my kind and thorough reviewers...just like you.
All my best,
Sal
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Sally,
This is a really long story, but I stuck with it captivated to the very end. I had a gut feeling it would end in tragedy.
Just a few little things I noticed as I read:
- "He climbed (nto) his truck and immediately turned on his heater" - into?
- "(winded) through the Poconos Mountains" I'm thinking, "winds" might sound better? Or maybe a different word altogether?
- "(and) old bridge" - an old bridge
- "covered Branson's truck within (a) hour" - an hour
- "veered (of) the road into a ravine" - off
Great story.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Hi Sally,
This is a really long story, but I stuck with it captivated to the very end. I had a gut feeling it would end in tragedy.
Just a few little things I noticed as I read:
- "He climbed (nto) his truck and immediately turned on his heater" - into?
- "(winded) through the Poconos Mountains" I'm thinking, "winds" might sound better? Or maybe a different word altogether?
- "(and) old bridge" - an old bridge
- "covered Branson's truck within (a) hour" - an hour
- "veered (of) the road into a ravine" - off
Great story.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and critiques. I appreciate you so much. I have only 5 percent of my eyesight remaining as I am going blind. I use both voice text and large print typing on my IPad Pro. It is not perfect for me, but it works. I do miss things and reviewing like yours is greatly appreciated. It helps me catch errors, like my missing?climbed into the truck. Big hug and thanks , again!
Sal
Comment from Miss Sherry
Oh, you are such a good writer. This is so romantic and sweet and such a sad story. Love is so eternal. Imagine having that precious napkin to keep for the rest of her life. Beautiful work here!
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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Oh, you are such a good writer. This is so romantic and sweet and such a sad story. Love is so eternal. Imagine having that precious napkin to keep for the rest of her life. Beautiful work here!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Yes, love is eternal, my dear poet. I am so glad you liked it. I appreciate your excellent review and kind words.
All my best,
Sally
Comment from Rob Caudle
Oh Miss Sally this was so beautifully penned. I found myself chewing on my lower lip hoping that somehow Branson would make it home Although I knew he wouldn't. I am a grizzled old man by I have to admit you had me tearing up with this one. I was simultaneously in the cab with Branson and home with Maria consumed with worry if there were seven star this piece would certainly have earned them.
Rob
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Oh Miss Sally this was so beautifully penned. I found myself chewing on my lower lip hoping that somehow Branson would make it home Although I knew he wouldn't. I am a grizzled old man by I have to admit you had me tearing up with this one. I was simultaneously in the cab with Branson and home with Maria consumed with worry if there were seven star this piece would certainly have earned them.
Rob
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the superb review and kind comments. I am glad to hear you teared up. My husband cried, and said it was one of my best articles so far. I am so glad you enjoyed it.
All my best,
Sally
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I can't say it was your best having not read them all it was one of the best I have read here on Fanstory
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Thank you, again. I am blessed from head to toe!