Record of Life
The record of life spins. Who loses or wins?63 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks time goes, moves on and man lives on, records of life plays on but who cares of wins or loses, man keeps doing many things passionately but never knows where journey ends; I liked.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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This speaks time goes, moves on and man lives on, records of life plays on but who cares of wins or loses, man keeps doing many things passionately but never knows where journey ends; I liked.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Alcreator Litt Dear, for your review of my lyrics. I am glad you liked them.
Comment from mermaids
I grew up listening to records so I can relate to your love of music and records. Excellent poem with a theme that is taking place today, unfortunately. This would definitely be a great song. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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I grew up listening to records so I can relate to your love of music and records. Excellent poem with a theme that is taking place today, unfortunately. This would definitely be a great song. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Yes, Mermaids, the sad thing about my incident of seventeen years ago is that it is still happening today and will continue happening in the future. The record is an apt metaphor because it keeps going around and around.
Thank you for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from DonandVicki
I have just read in one of my "How to write poetry" books that all poetry is a form of linguistic music and all music is poetry. I can see this in your well written lyrics. Well done. Don and Vicki
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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I have just read in one of my "How to write poetry" books that all poetry is a form of linguistic music and all music is poetry. I can see this in your well written lyrics. Well done. Don and Vicki
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Yes, Don and Vicki, my songwriting teacher and fellow students call my songs lyrical poetry.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
I think that you did a great job writing these song lyrics. The whole idea of the "Record of Life" spinning is a terrific one. This is so very well written, and I can easily imagine this being sung.
Part of me imagines
my body's chalked outline.
Prejudice and passions
strangle and intertwine. .... my favorite part!
Exceptional song lyrics! Good luck in the contest! ~~ Connie
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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I think that you did a great job writing these song lyrics. The whole idea of the "Record of Life" spinning is a terrific one. This is so very well written, and I can easily imagine this being sung.
Part of me imagines
my body's chalked outline.
Prejudice and passions
strangle and intertwine. .... my favorite part!
Exceptional song lyrics! Good luck in the contest! ~~ Connie
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Oh, thank you, bichonfrisegirl, for your generous, six star review and for pointing out your favorite part. I began writing my song backwards but could not come up with a fitting ending so I began writing it frontwards. I hit upon the closing lines when I rhymed "passions" with "imagines" and "intertwine" with "outline." I will never forget revisiting that shop after thirty-three years and imagining my chalked outline outside the door if the shopkeeper had shot me.
Thanks again for your review.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion , a song that personifies a country music style for me, by its very nature of storytelling - certainly smooth in rhythm and rhyme and spellbinding in delivery - makes me want to hear its melody. Best of luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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In my opinion , a song that personifies a country music style for me, by its very nature of storytelling - certainly smooth in rhythm and rhyme and spellbinding in delivery - makes me want to hear its melody. Best of luck in the contest...
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Yes, evesayshi, last month when I drove through Bakersfield I turned on the radio to Outlaw and heard country music I never heard before. They told stories. When I returned, I bought Jason Isabell's Nashville Sound, which I highly recommend. I have been playing it weekly and even more as I began writing my song. I used the bridge portion of his song for writing the bridge portion of mine in which I talk about being paralyzed by fear and indecision. You have a good ear.
Thank you for your review and for wishing the best of luck in the contest.
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You are very welcome, and thank you indulging me with your recent history...Eve
Comment from nomi338
Funny thing is this fool will lie his ass off telling people how back in the day he was down with black Rock & Roll, Blues and the like, carefully omitting the fact that any black customer who came into his store was an immediate suspect in his prejudiced eyes.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Funny thing is this fool will lie his ass off telling people how back in the day he was down with black Rock & Roll, Blues and the like, carefully omitting the fact that any black customer who came into his store was an immediate suspect in his prejudiced eyes.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Yes, nomi338, the man told me "some of my son's best friends are colored," as if that made it okay to stick a gun in a black customer's face. Thank you for your review and comments.
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Interesting that he said "some of his son's best friends were colored." not his friends mind you, his son's. What a blind, backwards fool.
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The author's words are strong, interesting and
thought provoking. The reader pondered on the theme of this
poem. Thank you for the author's notes - it explained so much.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the words and theme
of this poem.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Excellent Poem! The author's words are strong, interesting and
thought provoking. The reader pondered on the theme of this
poem. Thank you for the author's notes - it explained so much.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the words and theme
of this poem.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Thank you, harmony13, for your review and compliments. I am glad you appreciate the notes as well.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Dear Anonymous Poet;
Your poem touched my heart. Even without reading your Author Notes, which confirmed my initial thoughts, I knew this piece came from somewhere deep within your soul.
Thank you for sharing so much with us. I hope you are able to find closure and the ability to completely process this painful part of your life,
~patty~
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Dear Anonymous Poet;
Your poem touched my heart. Even without reading your Author Notes, which confirmed my initial thoughts, I knew this piece came from somewhere deep within your soul.
Thank you for sharing so much with us. I hope you are able to find closure and the ability to completely process this painful part of your life,
~patty~
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Patty, for your generous, six star review. Yes, this piece came from deep within my soul. This song helped move me further along in processing this painful part of my life, but there is no real closure. Every time an unarmed person of color is killed I think back to my encounter. A record is an apt metaphor for these incidents, because they keep going around and around.
Once again, thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really good! You took us through the life of a vinyl and your life as they moved side by side. I didn't like the bit when that man in the shop threatened you with a gun. Why do people enjoy having them? I think this would make a brilliant song and hope you put it to music. Good luck in the contest! ) Sandra x
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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That was really good! You took us through the life of a vinyl and your life as they moved side by side. I didn't like the bit when that man in the shop threatened you with a gun. Why do people enjoy having them? I think this would make a brilliant song and hope you put it to music. Good luck in the contest! ) Sandra x
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for your encouraging review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. No, I didn't like the bit about the man threatening me with a gun. I hope to put my song to music. Thanks again.
Comment from Rasmine
I'm so sorry for that man's stupidity. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about anything. God loves everyone. My brother was gay and had AIDS, don't know what he really died of, but if anyone said anything about God not loving homosexuals I would tell them off. We need to love everyone now -- that needs to come first now and not money.
Maybe you could go to FanMusic and see if someone will put your words to music.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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I'm so sorry for that man's stupidity. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about anything. God loves everyone. My brother was gay and had AIDS, don't know what he really died of, but if anyone said anything about God not loving homosexuals I would tell them off. We need to love everyone now -- that needs to come first now and not money.
Maybe you could go to FanMusic and see if someone will put your words to music.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Rasmine, for your thoughtful review and loving words on God's love. The shopkeeper just so happened to be watching and laughing at a talk show on gays when one walked into his shop as if out of his television screen. I noted this in my diary at the time. So in additional to my skin color, I wonder if my orientation caused him to pull a gun on me while shopping.
I lost both gay cousins to AIDS so you have my condolences for your brother, even though you do not know what he really died of.
Thank you also for wishing me good luck in the contest.
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Hugs!!!