Words
An essence poem about what we can do with words36 total reviews
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I am not sure I am reading the rules right so erring on the higher side with this one. According to the rules, each line needs to contain both internal and external rhyme and this does not accomplish that. It is a lovely sentiment and I hope it does well for you.
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I am not sure I am reading the rules right so erring on the higher side with this one. According to the rules, each line needs to contain both internal and external rhyme and this does not accomplish that. It is a lovely sentiment and I hope it does well for you.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
Comment from PatVallesMangan
The author has followed all of the rules for the writing prompt, with very nice internal rhyme and ending rhyme. The message flows naturally and it is a beautiful one. Words are powerful and can never be taken back. Nice job! Good luck in the contest. Blessings ~ Pat
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The author has followed all of the rules for the writing prompt, with very nice internal rhyme and ending rhyme. The message flows naturally and it is a beautiful one. Words are powerful and can never be taken back. Nice job! Good luck in the contest. Blessings ~ Pat
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
you portray your message well in your two lines and six syllables in each
we can mend a broken heart by changing the darts we fire
good internal and end rhyme
cheers Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest
you portray your message well in your two lines and six syllables in each
we can mend a broken heart by changing the darts we fire
good internal and end rhyme
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Very well written and so meaningful. You need to put this on a 3M sticky note for your mirror. You are talented! I will share this with my daughters to remember too. You will be a hit in the contest!
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Very well written and so meaningful. You need to put this on a 3M sticky note for your mirror. You are talented! I will share this with my daughters to remember too. You will be a hit in the contest!
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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My thanks again for the lovely gift...
Comment from Jean Lutz
Such harmony of blending of words, color and picture. Surely a remedy for healing. This looks like a hard form to write and I wish you well with the entry.
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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Such harmony of blending of words, color and picture. Surely a remedy for healing. This looks like a hard form to write and I wish you well with the entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Thank you so very much, Jean. You were kind to read and write ...
Comment from Domino 2
Join the club - I sometimes regret opening my gob before engaging my brain. :-)
To avoid 'passive' gerunds ('ing-ending' words), maybe:
'to mend our broken hearts
we need blunt those spoken darts'
Just a humble suggestion, and I won't be offended if you completely ignore me. :-)
Excellent message that compromise, apology and generally talking things over, is needed to heal the wounds.
Best wishes, Ray.
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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Join the club - I sometimes regret opening my gob before engaging my brain. :-)
To avoid 'passive' gerunds ('ing-ending' words), maybe:
'to mend our broken hearts
we need blunt those spoken darts'
Just a humble suggestion, and I won't be offended if you completely ignore me. :-)
Excellent message that compromise, apology and generally talking things over, is needed to heal the wounds.
Best wishes, Ray.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hi Ray...good morning! Thanks for your great ideas but the essence poem must have only six syllables per line. I sure appreciate your kind words.
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Thanks for your gracious reply, and I apologise for not realising that.
Cheers, Ray.