Comment from Pyrrho

Good

rancid cologne ... bad modifier here. it just does not get rancid. Try to capture the pain of memories while smelling it now.
I feel like the beauty of fall colors is not a good metaphor for the ending of a relationship, dead brown leaves is better
and yesterday is ashes fits better than dead.

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 Comment Written 21-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks for the read, but may I tell you, and ask any woman, perfumes and colognes do indeed get rancid/stale turning into something that smells more like old sweat socks than their original scent.

Comment from mjac777

Excellent

This was just excellent. The story and then the mournful 5/7/5 - pulled together nicely.
This one hit me in the gut ..... all those years invested and then to be cruelly pushed aside in the twilight years.
I know there's no guarantees in life - but this one's a tough nut to crack.
(hope it's not biographical)

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

The loss is one I've experienced, but not in this manner. A writers we take emotional experiences and transfer them to our characters.

Comment from amada

Excellent

Very good story to follow the idea of "Already Gone." You wrote a very accurate account of what might happens with love is gone, gone.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks for the read.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi Spiritual Echo,

This is really a good list of emotions one feels after a breakout. I like your descriptions. Spot On.

Great job. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)




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 Comment Written 21-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks, I appreciate the read and response.