The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Butterflies and Bluebirds"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
35 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is a beautiful tribute poem, Carolyn, I know with me she often talked about God so I am praying that she had a personal relationship with Him. I can't believe she didn't let anybody know she was sick.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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this is a beautiful tribute poem, Carolyn, I know with me she often talked about God so I am praying that she had a personal relationship with Him. I can't believe she didn't let anybody know she was sick.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your wonderful comments. She was definitely a private person. I miss her. Take care , Love, Carolyn
Comment from l.raven
Oh Carolyn, I am so sorry I don't have a six...this is beautiful...I know Pam is smiling at you...she won't be forgotten...a beautiful poem...wonderful tribute to her...she flies like a Bluebird...her favorite color...so very nicely done...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Oh Carolyn, I am so sorry I don't have a six...this is beautiful...I know Pam is smiling at you...she won't be forgotten...a beautiful poem...wonderful tribute to her...she flies like a Bluebird...her favorite color...so very nicely done...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Thank you, I am delighted you like the poem, she would tell me, 'hey girlie, good quatrains. Sigh.'
I miss her a lot.
Love you, good night Linda,
Carolyn
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HI Carolyn, I know...it was a very long day...I miss her too...I miss her hey girlies and talking all day...you get some sleep...Love Linda xxoo
Comment from rama devi
This is a lovely prayerful poem with good wishes for our beloved Pam. I always sensed she has an intuitive inner connection to the Divine which manifests in between the lines of her poetry--including the sensual ones.
The sincerity and simplicity in this write make me disinclined to critique it, as it is not meant for 'polishing' and only for 'expressing'. Nonetheless, integrity forces me to mention a couple of things:
Nice lines here, but I have some suggestions:
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace enlightened love
maybe use a hyphen?
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace-enlightened love
or dash
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace--enlightened love
or even parenthesis might be good there:
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace (enlightened love)
Good rhymes, though I usually try to avoid rhyming love and above (cliche) --but it works well here.
I like your choice to avoid end-line punctuation. Suits the poem well.
Lots of fine phonetics, especially the alliteration and consonance of S in these lines:
On wings of iridescent sun rays
O'er the rainbow in the sky
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace enlightened love
To dwell in peace forever
In serenity above
I'm sure Pam loves this poem. Thanks for writing it and sharing here.
RIP, dear Pam.
Blessings,
rd
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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This is a lovely prayerful poem with good wishes for our beloved Pam. I always sensed she has an intuitive inner connection to the Divine which manifests in between the lines of her poetry--including the sensual ones.
The sincerity and simplicity in this write make me disinclined to critique it, as it is not meant for 'polishing' and only for 'expressing'. Nonetheless, integrity forces me to mention a couple of things:
Nice lines here, but I have some suggestions:
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace enlightened love
maybe use a hyphen?
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace-enlightened love
or dash
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace--enlightened love
or even parenthesis might be good there:
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace (enlightened love)
Good rhymes, though I usually try to avoid rhyming love and above (cliche) --but it works well here.
I like your choice to avoid end-line punctuation. Suits the poem well.
Lots of fine phonetics, especially the alliteration and consonance of S in these lines:
On wings of iridescent sun rays
O'er the rainbow in the sky
Where the Soul is soaring upward
By grace enlightened love
To dwell in peace forever
In serenity above
I'm sure Pam loves this poem. Thanks for writing it and sharing here.
RIP, dear Pam.
Blessings,
rd
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Thank you for taking the time, especially in this sad situation, to honestly appraise the penning of the poem. I will add that hyphen, right now. Pam would have said.. 'Girlie, you might want to add a little hyphen right here.' Sigh, and smiles, I appreciate you. Carolyn
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Aw, thanks for your sweet and gracious response, dear Carolyn. Indeed, that's just what Pam would have said! She still thrives in our hearts. I appreciate you too!.
Hugs, rd
Comment from Kaila Mari
A well structured poem with a rhythmical flow. It engages the reader from the start. It is very descriptive and the imagery is vivid. Very well done. I didn't know Pam, but it seems to be a very meaningful tribute to a parted friend. God bless!
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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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A well structured poem with a rhythmical flow. It engages the reader from the start. It is very descriptive and the imagery is vivid. Very well done. I didn't know Pam, but it seems to be a very meaningful tribute to a parted friend. God bless!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Thank you Kaila Mari,
yes Pam was known as Gungalo. She passed away on June 16, from lung cancer. She was a marvelous poet and wrote about many subjects. I appreciate your remarks, Carolyn
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Carolyn, I am indeed sorry to hear about your friends passing. When I first joined early this month, in surfing through the writer's list, a few names jumped out at me; Gunalo was one of them. I made a mental note to contact and follow this writer and due to procrastination and getting ever so busy on the site, I had not gotten around it. Now she is gone and I will never make her acquaintance. I am honestly shocked at the news and disappointed for not having had the opportunity to have become her friend. May she rest in peace and may God bless you. Take care!
Comment from royowen
A lovely poem in tribute, Carolyn, to gungallo, Pam, she was a gracious lady, and once said something so nice to me online, that it is a memory I will cherish always! Beautifully written tribute to fine lady, and an asset to FS, I'm already seeing a person who will be much missed and loved! Well done and thank you!
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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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A lovely poem in tribute, Carolyn, to gungallo, Pam, she was a gracious lady, and once said something so nice to me online, that it is a memory I will cherish always! Beautifully written tribute to fine lady, and an asset to FS, I'm already seeing a person who will be much missed and loved! Well done and thank you!
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Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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And thank you Roy for this wonderful review. Pam (Gungalo) had a special way about her. I learned a lot from her regarding poetic forms. Her poems were always perfect. She took a personal interest in my work and inspired me to do my best. Occasionally we would correspond about the Lord. She was a dear lady and sweet friend.
Love you Roy, tell Elaine the same, Carolyn
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I will thank you. Carolyn.