The Chronos Bug
Some demons aren't Hell spawn. They're man-made....55 total reviews
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Dean:)
I don't believe it your bug is worse than my bug. In a novel still in progress, a genetic accident creates a virulent retrovirus that takes over the human immune system and causes the infected cells to produce copies of itself like the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. My bug however causes the infected immune system to produce cocaine in quantities that quickly produce an euphoric high. Vibtims are so happy that they avoid cures even to avoid certain death if untreated.
Just think my victims die happy! Aren't you glad that both bugs are fictional?
I totally enjoyed your scary alteration of the scary parasite and look forward to the coming epidemic.
Just for your information, I am a biochemist and spent several years working with deadly viruses.
Roger
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
  |
Hi Dean:)
I don't believe it your bug is worse than my bug. In a novel still in progress, a genetic accident creates a virulent retrovirus that takes over the human immune system and causes the infected cells to produce copies of itself like the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. My bug however causes the infected immune system to produce cocaine in quantities that quickly produce an euphoric high. Vibtims are so happy that they avoid cures even to avoid certain death if untreated.
Just think my victims die happy! Aren't you glad that both bugs are fictional?
I totally enjoyed your scary alteration of the scary parasite and look forward to the coming epidemic.
Just for your information, I am a biochemist and spent several years working with deadly viruses.
Roger
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Cool, Roger! So, your input will be an invaluable tool for me to rely upon, as I have obviously never worked in biochemistry, but have researched the topic of germ warfare over many years. Will you be posting your novel here, on FanStory, or is it to be published elsewhere? If you are posting it here, please, let me know when the first chapter is available. I am literally fascinated and terrified by such things.
-
Hi Dean<)
I hope to posy it on Fan Story, but I am quite unhappy with attempts at a captivating opening chapter. If I do posy it the title will be,"The Happiness Syndrome." The hook is that nobody wants to be cured.
Roger
Comment from Green Lake Girl
My "take-away" from this story . . . glad I don't have a penis! Seriously, this is extra sick, chilling, gross and vile. I realize, to you, this is glowing praise. Well written as always, Dean.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
My "take-away" from this story . . . glad I don't have a penis! Seriously, this is extra sick, chilling, gross and vile. I realize, to you, this is glowing praise. Well written as always, Dean.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Well, yes, it certainly is, Green Lake Girl, and I truly appreciate each syllable of every word!
Comment from Dawn Munro
AHHHHHHH!!!! Gross, gruesome >> GREAT!!!! The best ever! This is going to be a fabulous novella Dean!
I noticed one minor error:
"...to swim into the penises of its unwanted hosts..." << I think you meant to say - "...to swim(, unwanted,) into..." OR you could say "unwilling hosts". It is the host who doesn't want the bug, right, not the other way around? :)
OUTSTANDING, my friend. SUPERB!
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
 |
AHHHHHHH!!!! Gross, gruesome >> GREAT!!!! The best ever! This is going to be a fabulous novella Dean!
I noticed one minor error:
"...to swim into the penises of its unwanted hosts..." << I think you meant to say - "...to swim(, unwanted,) into..." OR you could say "unwilling hosts". It is the host who doesn't want the bug, right, not the other way around? :)
OUTSTANDING, my friend. SUPERB!
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Ha ha, well, I would hope it's not the other way around, lol! You are absolutely right, I meant to write "unwilling", but somehow, "unwanted" reared it's ugly head and sneaked in there. I make sure I change that, right away!
Thanks for the outstanding review, Dawn!
Comment from jgirlie152
There you go again, Dean, once again surprising me with your elaborate imagination. I can see that you have done some heavy homework regarding these parasites which are quite somewhat more than horrific. I see this is fiction, and therefor perhaps you have made up more than I imagined, but your story is fascinating.
Joan
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
There you go again, Dean, once again surprising me with your elaborate imagination. I can see that you have done some heavy homework regarding these parasites which are quite somewhat more than horrific. I see this is fiction, and therefor perhaps you have made up more than I imagined, but your story is fascinating.
Joan
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Thanks a bunch, Joan! I really hope you'll be able to follow along. I love getting your input on my work.
Unfortunately, these parasites are far too real. Of course, knowing what I now know about the waters and streams in those South American countries I'd mentioned, you wouldn't catch me dead in one for them! Holy cripes, I can just imagine...
-
alright.....just stay away from the Amazon in particular. I'd miss your work.
-
No worries there, lol...
Thank you!
Comment from sibhus
Holy, really wierd, creepy things Batman. this was so cool, and really scary, cause right now there is proabably some government agency doing this very thing. I think I'll start pissing the yard, just in case they are sending stuff up through the sewer systems. Loved the descriptions and intensity of your words. Looking forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
Holy, really wierd, creepy things Batman. this was so cool, and really scary, cause right now there is proabably some government agency doing this very thing. I think I'll start pissing the yard, just in case they are sending stuff up through the sewer systems. Loved the descriptions and intensity of your words. Looking forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Ha, better safe than sorry, right, sibhus?
Thanks for your kind comments, and for following along with the story. I sincerely appreciate that!
Comment from Norbanus
Wow! What a ghastly bug. You're going to have a hard time keeping your characters alive long enough to bring this thing under control. Hell of an opening.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
Wow! What a ghastly bug. You're going to have a hard time keeping your characters alive long enough to bring this thing under control. Hell of an opening.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Thanks, Norbanus, I'm really happy that the prologue grabbed you, and took hold. I hope you'll be following along. I'd really appreciate your opinions throughout.
Thanks so much again!
Comment from lancellot
Well written, as is the norm for you. It did feel like you were packing a lot of information into this first chapter. The narrator told us much about the nasty little bug. Looking forward to see where this goes.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
Well written, as is the norm for you. It did feel like you were packing a lot of information into this first chapter. The narrator told us much about the nasty little bug. Looking forward to see where this goes.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Thanks for weighing in with your opinions and comments, Lance. I really appreciate that!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Dean What nasty bug you have here.
Eats you from inside out.
Your Chronos Bug sounds like an alien.
What I find so good in this chapter is the research you wrote in your authors notes.
Gert
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
Hi Dean What nasty bug you have here.
Eats you from inside out.
Your Chronos Bug sounds like an alien.
What I find so good in this chapter is the research you wrote in your authors notes.
Gert
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Thanks, Gert, and you know me, I always try to let my readers in on a little history about the topics in my stories, if possible. I truly appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this one, and I am glad you like the author's notes. There are many who don't.
-
You are welcome Dean
Gert
Comment from His Grayness
DEAN: now I see what you were talking about some time ago and this is NOTHING short of TERRIFYING that such critters live in our world and are apparently imbued with the instinct to destroy any "fleshy" part of it. WOW! Thanks for the education and the "chills". I'm working with Branson's B-team on humanitarian projects and want to learn more about this and what might be done...just Wow for now! Vance
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
DEAN: now I see what you were talking about some time ago and this is NOTHING short of TERRIFYING that such critters live in our world and are apparently imbued with the instinct to destroy any "fleshy" part of it. WOW! Thanks for the education and the "chills". I'm working with Branson's B-team on humanitarian projects and want to learn more about this and what might be done...just Wow for now! Vance
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
I'll take "WoW!" any day of the week, Vance (LOL!). I wish you the best of luck on your project. It sounds like a very rewarding experience.
Thanks so much, again!
Comment from ravenblack
You know, you do have quite a streak of black humor. Aside from Myrna' s terrified screaming as globules of flesh dripped, it was a sunny, perfect day (sorry for the crappy paraphrase). Comic timing in horror is crucial to make it more horrific, and you do. A weaponized penis fish- no swimming for me ( and yes, I know that this is not a made-up fish). Gross and horrific.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
|
You know, you do have quite a streak of black humor. Aside from Myrna' s terrified screaming as globules of flesh dripped, it was a sunny, perfect day (sorry for the crappy paraphrase). Comic timing in horror is crucial to make it more horrific, and you do. A weaponized penis fish- no swimming for me ( and yes, I know that this is not a made-up fish). Gross and horrific.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
-
Thanks, rb, and I'm glad you pick up on the humor entertwined in the madness and mayhem. many seem to overlook it, but I craft it into the stories I write very subtly and carefully. I love Dan O'Bannon's Return of the Living Dead screenplay. That movie is solely responsible for zombie shouts of "BRAINS!" you hear associated with that genre today. Prior to that, zombies were known for devouring the whole body, not just the brain, and O'Bannon's comedic genius is a style I have always looked up to and aspired to incorporate in my own writing, as well.