The War Horse
A young brave wants a war horse33 total reviews
Comment from sasil
Brain-dead? Doubtful. This writing is too full of life! No nits to pick or spags to tame--this western write is spot-on in tone, historical reference and understanding of culture and setting. I enjoyed this short work about a boy becoming a man, and that of destiny. Well-done!
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Brain-dead? Doubtful. This writing is too full of life! No nits to pick or spags to tame--this western write is spot-on in tone, historical reference and understanding of culture and setting. I enjoyed this short work about a boy becoming a man, and that of destiny. Well-done!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Hi there Sasil!! Well, I knew the apostrophes would be wrong...this one too, in this reply, I have NO clue! I always put them one way, put them back, and back again...and it's ? always wrong! LOL!! IT's true, you cannot teach an old dog new tricks! OR get them to remember old ones! Thank you, my friend...you are so good to me! HUGS! Susan
Comment from adewpearl
Great photo, Susan.
Excellent use of imagery and descriptive detail in your first paragraph to draw the reader right in.
when the lightening flashed - lightning
Great action scene as the boy chases the stallion
Great use of high-impact action verbs throughout
finally relenting it's icy fingers - drop the apostrophe
he guarded the mare as she laid down - lay
the same fire in it's eyes - drop the apostrophe
He protected it and it's mother - drop the apostrophe
What a good story, my friend - I love the ending
Brooke The six is not just for this story but for lots of your stories the past weeks that just keep getting better :-) I had this six left at week's end and have been looking for something to give it to all night :-)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Great photo, Susan.
Excellent use of imagery and descriptive detail in your first paragraph to draw the reader right in.
when the lightening flashed - lightning
Great action scene as the boy chases the stallion
Great use of high-impact action verbs throughout
finally relenting it's icy fingers - drop the apostrophe
he guarded the mare as she laid down - lay
the same fire in it's eyes - drop the apostrophe
He protected it and it's mother - drop the apostrophe
What a good story, my friend - I love the ending
Brooke The six is not just for this story but for lots of your stories the past weeks that just keep getting better :-) I had this six left at week's end and have been looking for something to give it to all night :-)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Oh Brooke! You are so sweet! To share a six even with these errors! Thank you. I am honored and so happy too that you liked this! I have made these corrections and as I always do, appreciate your time to help me. What a kind review, I was so discouraged earlier, I have two stories that are not doing well, so this is very nice! Thank you again my friend!! HUG! Susan
Comment from Mara del Mar
Wow ... this is wonderful, holding his breath all the time. These stories of wild horses fascinate me. You take on a magnificent history, known to catch the attention of the reader. I like the ending, great. A very pleasant reading. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Wow ... this is wonderful, holding his breath all the time. These stories of wild horses fascinate me. You take on a magnificent history, known to catch the attention of the reader. I like the ending, great. A very pleasant reading. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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HI Mara! Thank you so much! I am very happy to see you enjoyed this and I really appreciate your time to review for me too! I tried to read your work, but cannot read Spanish! I am so sorry! Thank you for being here Mara! Happy writing! Susan