Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Chapter 6 part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
85 total reviews
Comment from Claire Beck
An interesting chapter. I know I read one a week or two ago that focused on Joe and Cassie; now I see how you've built the relationship with Joe and Cassie's mom.
Yours look pretty good to me." "look" should be "looks."
The last paragraph feels a little awkward to me. Were you showing that Cassie's mom has some kind of psychic flash or premonition about Cassie? That's the way I took it, but reading it literally, it sounded more like Cassie's mom was having stomach trouble. I think adding one more sentence to explain would solve it. Of course, if there are other times when she's had this reaction in earlier chapters, it wouldn't be out of place as is.
Thanks for sharing your work for review!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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An interesting chapter. I know I read one a week or two ago that focused on Joe and Cassie; now I see how you've built the relationship with Joe and Cassie's mom.
Yours look pretty good to me." "look" should be "looks."
The last paragraph feels a little awkward to me. Were you showing that Cassie's mom has some kind of psychic flash or premonition about Cassie? That's the way I took it, but reading it literally, it sounded more like Cassie's mom was having stomach trouble. I think adding one more sentence to explain would solve it. Of course, if there are other times when she's had this reaction in earlier chapters, it wouldn't be out of place as is.
Thanks for sharing your work for review!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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I will take a look at the last sentence. I was hoping for mother's intuition. Thank you for your review.
Comment from hyway94
You just go ahead and do your thing and we'll wait for the next posting. Remember writing is a great thing but when it interferer's with your life it becomes second. So I say, be healthy and then let the writings of someone like yourself come as they well your to good to be forgotten.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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You just go ahead and do your thing and we'll wait for the next posting. Remember writing is a great thing but when it interferer's with your life it becomes second. So I say, be healthy and then let the writings of someone like yourself come as they well your to good to be forgotten.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and thoughtfullness.
Comment from dave d yes its me
That was the best piece of work that i have read so far on here. you sure are a good writer. i don't usually read cos it bores me . i might just start doing again now. well done. i gave a poem a six yesterday so i dont think i could give another or i would.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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That was the best piece of work that i have read so far on here. you sure are a good writer. i don't usually read cos it bores me . i might just start doing again now. well done. i gave a poem a six yesterday so i dont think i could give another or i would.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Very sexy stuff lately, Barbara. I love the line in the second to the last paragraph. Great foreshadowing at the end. I want to read on.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Very sexy stuff lately, Barbara. I love the line in the second to the last paragraph. Great foreshadowing at the end. I want to read on.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Got a chuckle here: "Back me up on that one, okay?"
Caressing her rear end, he grinned. "I have your back side covered." ;p
Great hook with the premonition!-- Feeling pain, she grabbed her lower stomach. Something's wrong.
Well done!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Got a chuckle here: "Back me up on that one, okay?"
Caressing her rear end, he grinned. "I have your back side covered." ;p
Great hook with the premonition!-- Feeling pain, she grabbed her lower stomach. Something's wrong.
Well done!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Another reviewer complained about that line. I am glad you like it, so did I.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, I am happy that you've been able to continue writing your story, even if it's not as often as you'd like to. I love that these two are finally showing their complete love for each other and hopefully Sara will start feeling better about herself and quit doubting so much. Also, from a writers standpoint, this was a good place to stop... it leaves us definitely wondering about Cassie and what may or may not have happened. Hang in there and keep writing as you can.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Barbara, I am happy that you've been able to continue writing your story, even if it's not as often as you'd like to. I love that these two are finally showing their complete love for each other and hopefully Sara will start feeling better about herself and quit doubting so much. Also, from a writers standpoint, this was a good place to stop... it leaves us definitely wondering about Cassie and what may or may not have happened. Hang in there and keep writing as you can.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and understanding. I appreciate it.
Comment from Arkine
Hmmm, well now I'm definitely curious as to why her daughter is late getting home. All sorts of things spring to mind and none of them are good. Excellent chapter! Didn't catch any nits. :)
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Hmmm, well now I'm definitely curious as to why her daughter is late getting home. All sorts of things spring to mind and none of them are good. Excellent chapter! Didn't catch any nits. :)
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Fireshadow
Barbara, very well penned narrative with strong and credible dialogue. I don't think you left the story in mid air, just a suspenseful pause to increase the reader's anticipation. Very well done, my friend. Amarillys
Hope you continue your journey towards healing and well being, my friend. There are many of us praying for your strength and prompt recovery. Amarillys
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Barbara, very well penned narrative with strong and credible dialogue. I don't think you left the story in mid air, just a suspenseful pause to increase the reader's anticipation. Very well done, my friend. Amarillys
Hope you continue your journey towards healing and well being, my friend. There are many of us praying for your strength and prompt recovery. Amarillys
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from humpwhistle
Surgery, smurgery, I want to know what happens next! If I must be patient I will, but don't go gettin' soft and neglecting your following. Seriously, all my best wishes and prayers. Now get back to work.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Surgery, smurgery, I want to know what happens next! If I must be patient I will, but don't go gettin' soft and neglecting your following. Seriously, all my best wishes and prayers. Now get back to work.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind, humorous review. I laughed. I appreciate your support, and I promise to post as soon as I am able. After my last surgery my boys took my computer from me and hid it for two days.
Comment from gerry26
Very despcriptive, I felt like I was there with them. Your shower scene was well written. Your pace is good and your characters are very interesting. If I were reading this in a book, I doubt I could put it down.
Hope you feel better
gerry
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Very despcriptive, I felt like I was there with them. Your shower scene was well written. Your pace is good and your characters are very interesting. If I were reading this in a book, I doubt I could put it down.
Hope you feel better
gerry
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.