Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "You're Caught!"Short Stories
40 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I couldn't breath - breathe
trap's about to snap - add apostrophe
Wow! I didn't see that ending coming at all. Not the brother thing and not her being the heroin supplier and her husband only the dealer. That was just a fun read - I love to be surprised.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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I couldn't breath - breathe
trap's about to snap - add apostrophe
Wow! I didn't see that ending coming at all. Not the brother thing and not her being the heroin supplier and her husband only the dealer. That was just a fun read - I love to be surprised.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Brooke
And my thrill is to be able to surprise you and all my readers. Thank you for the wonderful review and comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from xanax
I like how his is heavy on dialogue. You do really well with the two main characters' dialogue between each other. I like the twist at the end. I wasn't expecting it. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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I like how his is heavy on dialogue. You do really well with the two main characters' dialogue between each other. I like the twist at the end. I wasn't expecting it. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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xanax
I'm glad the story held your attention till the end and that you were surprised by the twist. Smiles to you....
Comment from Belinda
Wow... what an imaginative story you have here, full of co-incidences. I'm not certain whether the outcome is welcome to Heidi or not. Everything is so sudden to her. Anyway, interesting story.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Wow... what an imaginative story you have here, full of co-incidences. I'm not certain whether the outcome is welcome to Heidi or not. Everything is so sudden to her. Anyway, interesting story.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Belinda
Since she was the supplier of drugs, she got what she deserved...Too many of our young children fall victim to drugs because of the greed of others. Thank you for your wonderful review.
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Certainly.
Comment from Melody Ringo
Surprises from beginning to end. I never would have guessed that Heidi was a suspect until you revealed that fact in the story. Great use of suspense!
Heidi is the name of one of my own daughters, so this story really came to life for me on a personal level. The fact that I live in the Houston area and was deeply affected by Katrina also grabbed me.
Great story, great suspense. Bravo.
The quotation marks that follow the story could be deleted, but otherwise, its perfect, as is.
Melody
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Surprises from beginning to end. I never would have guessed that Heidi was a suspect until you revealed that fact in the story. Great use of suspense!
Heidi is the name of one of my own daughters, so this story really came to life for me on a personal level. The fact that I live in the Houston area and was deeply affected by Katrina also grabbed me.
Great story, great suspense. Bravo.
The quotation marks that follow the story could be deleted, but otherwise, its perfect, as is.
Melody
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Melody
I appreciate the review but I'm just a bit baffled. Why the four stars if the story and the suspense was great? What would you have me change?
Comment from jmdg1954
When I first pulled up your story to read and review, the picture caught my eye. For reasons I can't explain, I chose not to read. Then I said to myself.. it's the story I'm to concern myself with not he photo. I'm glad I came back! I thought the story was excellently written, no mistakes that I saw and a great storyline!Good luck with the entry....
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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When I first pulled up your story to read and review, the picture caught my eye. For reasons I can't explain, I chose not to read. Then I said to myself.. it's the story I'm to concern myself with not he photo. I'm glad I came back! I thought the story was excellently written, no mistakes that I saw and a great storyline!Good luck with the entry....
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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jmdg
The picture came with the contest..I had no choice. I'm thrilled that you gave the story a chance and found it entertaining. Thank you so much for enjoying my work. smiles to you....
Comment from rhymer1
You have me in stitches with that fantastic double-punch-line finally; brilliant, and so entertaining. Alsso, your narrative and dialog are spot on. Slainte, rhymer1
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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You have me in stitches with that fantastic double-punch-line finally; brilliant, and so entertaining. Alsso, your narrative and dialog are spot on. Slainte, rhymer1
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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rhymer
I take back every bad thing I have ever said about you...Just kidding! Your review is fantastic and I'm thrilled to pieces. Smiles to you...
Comment from misscookie
I love the picture it is so beauitful
It blew my mind when I started reading the story.
This story is filled with excitment, suspence. there was never a dul moment.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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I love the picture it is so beauitful
It blew my mind when I started reading the story.
This story is filled with excitment, suspence. there was never a dul moment.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Cookie
Now friend, you know I can't ever write something without throwing in a twist or two. Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles to you....
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I know that- keep them coming
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What a huge twist. You had me from the begining. I don't have clue if this post has any mechanical errors or not in it. I was too busy reading. That is a good thing.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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What a huge twist. You had me from the begining. I don't have clue if this post has any mechanical errors or not in it. I was too busy reading. That is a good thing.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Barbara
Hurrah! When my mentor is too busy reading to catch any errors, I am thrilled to pieces. Thank you so much for the kind review. Smiles to you....
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I thought that was your writing. Great job.
Comment from Laidy
Wow, How could someone do that to their friend for a bust. that was some stunt. i thought this was a great post. I am glad the father will have the baby though, safe and out of harms reach.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Wow, How could someone do that to their friend for a bust. that was some stunt. i thought this was a great post. I am glad the father will have the baby though, safe and out of harms reach.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Laidy
I guess she figured if her friend was going to jeopardize her baby by dealing drugs and not tell the real father...she got what she had coming to her. Thanks for the review. Smiles to you...
Comment from mourningdove
This story kept my interest all the way to the end. You've weaved suspense, drama, intrigue and betrayal together to come up with a very exciting read. I like the ending - at least we know the baby has a chance. Well done. md
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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This story kept my interest all the way to the end. You've weaved suspense, drama, intrigue and betrayal together to come up with a very exciting read. I like the ending - at least we know the baby has a chance. Well done. md
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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mourningdove
My first concern was the baby...Thanks for the kind review and comments. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it. Smiles to you....