Her secret
a short story about love for sale53 total reviews
Comment from Hanna Marie
Quite a message here indeed. "no kissing" rule number one in that business according to "pretty woman" the movie. Quite a hard life.
It brings in money so the movies say, but, chains of gold are still chains.
Very captivating. Good Luck with your writing.
hannamarie
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
  |
Quite a message here indeed. "no kissing" rule number one in that business according to "pretty woman" the movie. Quite a hard life.
It brings in money so the movies say, but, chains of gold are still chains.
Very captivating. Good Luck with your writing.
hannamarie
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...
-
I know what you mean about having doubts on posting your writing. I too have that fear.
That is the good thing about it being on the computer. It's like we can show our most inner thoughts and the people closes to us don't have a clue.
I've written for years and keep my books put away, afraid of the comments from family.
Keep writing thou, I'm going to!
Hanna Marie
Comment from jlsavell
apelle, in this short story you created such a vivid character filled with her sense of space and self, knowing that her passion was not of lust, nor men, but a mere survival. Stark images and deep emotions of the soul portayed in this piece..very well done..jlsavell
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
apelle, in this short story you created such a vivid character filled with her sense of space and self, knowing that her passion was not of lust, nor men, but a mere survival. Stark images and deep emotions of the soul portayed in this piece..very well done..jlsavell
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...
-
doubts, why,,this was an excellent write..
Comment from amada
Wow, this is intense indeed. Very classy, it goes to the heart of this woman and her body molding as sand to that unknown partner. Beautiful images and metaphors. I need to read it again for the sake of learning to write well.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
 |
Wow, this is intense indeed. Very classy, it goes to the heart of this woman and her body molding as sand to that unknown partner. Beautiful images and metaphors. I need to read it again for the sake of learning to write well.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Thanks so much Amanda for your generous review, I am happy you liked it .
Adina
Comment from DeRoseJ
Well I have to say, after the last review I saw yer name again and decided to read another of your entries. Now this story had a much more clear, concise message and I have to say it was nearly masterfully written since your message is entwined in a real poetic style. I liked this one very much. I'm gonna laugh if you tell me this one u didnt like as much as the last.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
Well I have to say, after the last review I saw yer name again and decided to read another of your entries. Now this story had a much more clear, concise message and I have to say it was nearly masterfully written since your message is entwined in a real poetic style. I liked this one very much. I'm gonna laugh if you tell me this one u didnt like as much as the last.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Thanks DeRose,
I appreciate your vote of confidence. This is a different kind of message I tried to convey, I am delighted you liked it. This story also was the runner up for a writing contest on a local sponsored radio station.
-
I can tell. It is a strong work. I've won a few contests in my day and I'd be proud to run neck and neck with this one.
Comment from perunest
Every word you've chosen conveys the
abject despair of the character. Through your
evocative language you have brought the reader
into a world of hopelessness and of emotional
devastation. You've done a terrific job. Good
luck in the contest! Carolyn
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
Every word you've chosen conveys the
abject despair of the character. Through your
evocative language you have brought the reader
into a world of hopelessness and of emotional
devastation. You've done a terrific job. Good
luck in the contest! Carolyn
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Carolyn, thanks so much ...
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Apelle:)
A mature audience warning? You'll lose some readers and gain others. Sadly this warning will drive away those who need to hear the message, feel the pain and understand the trap that binds a prostitute to the world's oldest profession.
The prostitute may turn a trick almost at will when she is pretty enough, young enough, desperate enough, and in the beginning she may think she is only filling a desire as rents her body for a few minutes, maybe even for pleasure the first few times, as she remembers the thrill of giving her virginity to a virile handsome man with a great future (his words, her hopes) and when she awoke, an empty bed completed his lies.
Now too late, she has sacrificed all, for money she shares with a pimp (that lowest form of humanity who may one day beat her to death because customers no longer want her empty nonrespobsive body.
Yes it is a sordid terrible story, but one that needs to be read by pure young virgins who have not yet chozes this downward path,
Thank you for sharing this vivid story. Good luck with your entry for: "Building Strong Characters IX."
Roger
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
Hi Apelle:)
A mature audience warning? You'll lose some readers and gain others. Sadly this warning will drive away those who need to hear the message, feel the pain and understand the trap that binds a prostitute to the world's oldest profession.
The prostitute may turn a trick almost at will when she is pretty enough, young enough, desperate enough, and in the beginning she may think she is only filling a desire as rents her body for a few minutes, maybe even for pleasure the first few times, as she remembers the thrill of giving her virginity to a virile handsome man with a great future (his words, her hopes) and when she awoke, an empty bed completed his lies.
Now too late, she has sacrificed all, for money she shares with a pimp (that lowest form of humanity who may one day beat her to death because customers no longer want her empty nonrespobsive body.
Yes it is a sordid terrible story, but one that needs to be read by pure young virgins who have not yet chozes this downward path,
Thank you for sharing this vivid story. Good luck with your entry for: "Building Strong Characters IX."
Roger
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Roger,
Thank you so much for your extremely generous rating and compelling words.
I am happy that the message I was set to deliver made its way through...
As for the rating, that's just how things are....unfortunately
Adina
Comment from Clueless
It's a bit deep and sad for the women in the story. This story reminds me of the movie pretty women. It's sad to think that these still women out their like that. Since these so many charities and govt allowances to help people.
Regards
Clueless
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
It's a bit deep and sad for the women in the story. This story reminds me of the movie pretty women. It's sad to think that these still women out their like that. Since these so many charities and govt allowances to help people.
Regards
Clueless
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
thanks for commenting and for the kind review, it's all fiction, but you are right , there are some real life instances I can think off
Comment from dihardest
Her life through the detached third party perspective of her other self, a prostitute survives by bifurcating her true self from the mechanical doll. It is a fascinating separation, well constructed. Preserving that last remnant of herself by allowing everything else, yet denying the kiss captures the quintessence of what's left of her self.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
Her life through the detached third party perspective of her other self, a prostitute survives by bifurcating her true self from the mechanical doll. It is a fascinating separation, well constructed. Preserving that last remnant of herself by allowing everything else, yet denying the kiss captures the quintessence of what's left of her self.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
dihardest, as always your words are music to my ear as I value your expert comments
Comment from HDycha
You did a wonderful job with this prompt. You have a flair with words and a vivid imagination. I had no problem connecting with your character, and I loved your final line. Great job!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
You did a wonderful job with this prompt. You have a flair with words and a vivid imagination. I had no problem connecting with your character, and I loved your final line. Great job!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...
Comment from Heidixoxo
What an awesome story you have written. For it being marked as "Adult Material" you wrote this with nice taste. I think you did a fantastic job. Best of luck to you my friend.....xoxo
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
|
What an awesome story you have written. For it being marked as "Adult Material" you wrote this with nice taste. I think you did a fantastic job. Best of luck to you my friend.....xoxo
Comment Written 08-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2009
-
Thank you so much for your kind review. I marked it adult because I know some folks are easier to get offended than others...