Comment from Carol D Parker

Excellent

Great writing. Erotic without being vulgar. What can I say about the subject natter? Men will be men.
Good luck in the contest.
Delora

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009

Thanks Delora. It was pretty hard to do without being able to use an "s". I kept wanting to use "she", but couldn't.

Thanks for the kind review. - Thesis

Comment from dihardest

Excellent

Easy for us all to identify with this one. A succession of invitations in a fleeting moment. You make me want to turn the page, but, alas... Something tells me this is autobiographical.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009

Lol, a smart man. You could tell it was told from experience.

A view I will never forget. - Thesis

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

OK, I'll confess - the title caught my eye and then I had to laugh, all to often I have seen this sort of 'mishap' occuring in carparks at supermarkets. Well done, at least its amusing...

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009

Thanks Patrick. It actually happens a lot. There are quite a few naughty girls out there. - Thesis

Comment from honeytree

Excellent

You certainly had a good photo to write about.

Very revealing aspect of life that we all have.

Good Writing Prompt.

Honeytree

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009

Thanks honeytree. The photo really complimented the story. It was very revealing in a nice way. - Thesis

reply by honeytree on 10-Jul-2009

I am glad you liked the review. I really enjoyed reading. Honeytree.

reply by honeytree on 11-Jul-2009

I am glad you liked the review. I really enjoyed reading. Honeytree.

Comment from OldVet

Excellent

Oh, a review. Right. Sorry, I was distracted.
Uh, guess if she didn't want it to be seen she would have covered it up. My daughter said I'd be surprized how many women didn't wear underwear. Now my interest is peaked.
Good entry. Lots of luck!

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2009

That is so true. More and more younger women can't be bothered and go bare. I've seen more this year than most. - Thesis

reply by OldVet on 10-Jul-2009

Maybe I should pay more attention and "see" more?

Comment from Jonesy

Excellent

Interesting contest. Can see where it requires some real thought.

I've given this author low marks for the most part, but this is mistake free and structured well. The fact it's very short may or may not have something to do with it, but what it's clear the author is more than capable of work that is engaging and well written.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009

Thank you Jonsey. Thesis

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

There are male and female exhibitionists in the world. This brief poem is about a female showing her wares to a male. Very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2009

Thank you c_lucas. It was hard to do it withoout an "s", but I got through it. Thanks for your review and comments. - Thesis

reply by c_lucas on 10-Jul-2009

You're welcome,

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

I imagine a woman who wears a skirt that short and a thong that small is not one to mind a glimpse at her assets! LOL
A fun anecdote told with nary an S in sight - this is a fun and strong entry in the no S contest. Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2009

Thanks Brooke. I agree. Many more women seem to be adopting the little or no undie rule these days. It does provide a brief respite to an otherwise ordinary day. :) - Thesis

Comment from Janelle

Excellent

As we say in Australia, your're terrible Muriel!

It says at the top that this poem is classed as 'general fiction', but I do not see any reference to the photo being a Fanart contribution, so I want to know who took the photo?! :)

You are so smart, setting such a seriously saucy, sexy, suggestive scenario so succinctly - in sentences showing no sssssssss's!

Poor Tom! He only just recently had to judge the context Best Sex Ever and now this. We won't get a coherent word out of him for weeks now! :)

Good luck in the comp, and by the way, my thong wasn't blue it was white with blue stripes! My Mum told me that skirt was way too short. I'll be in such trouble when she sees this picture on Fanstory! :( LOL, LOL

Regards, Jan

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009

LOL, Well Jan, you certainly made my day. Actually, my eighbor helped me with the photo. She read my story and said...I'll be right back, then as she lifter her skirt, she said: "Will this work?" Who was I to argue? :) - Thesis

reply by Janelle on 09-Jul-2009

Like I said;

You're terrible Muriel!

:)

Comment from nora arjuna

Excellent

Where? Where's the blue thong lol. the large picture sure grabs attention. Well, I don't see any 's', nicely done and enjoyed the read. Good luck!

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009

Thanks arjuna. It was hard not using any s's. Thanks for the great review. Thesis