Reviews from

Tornado descends

haiku inspired awesome power of nature

43 total reviews 
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is a good haiku....with a sad message clearly conveyed.

I am not an expert, but in my reading on the traditional form of haiku, it seems that usually they do not use capital letters.

tornado descends
random destruction of lives
sadness left behind

the closing line is true, but I feel it needs more punch....to reflect the shocking effect.

How about
"sadness in its wake"

Just a thought.

Warm regards,
rama devi



 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    i like that suggestion thank
reply by rama devi on 14-Apr-2008
    Thanks. Glad you liked it.
    Warm regards,
    rama devi
Comment from heyjude
Excellent
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Monte,
With a few words you've told the horror of tornadoes. When I was a child I remembering seeing one and running as fast as I could to a neighbor's cellar. They are so destructive. Very well done.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    thank you
Comment from jholmes5580
Excellent
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Very good. This reminds me of Greensburg, where I went to assist with disaster relief after it was demolished. It was quite humbling to try to help the people there pick up their pieces, figuratively and literally. Great job! jholmes

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    thanks so much
Comment from eraserlynch
Excellent
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Great poem inspired by an event that is scary. We have cyclones down under and having been through many as a child they were scary, especially when your house would shake and shake.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    thank you
Comment from babylonia
Excellent
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this is so true. i still think of the little town in kansas that was basically wiped out. luckily no one was killed. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. picture is priceless. keep up the good work~

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    thank you
reply by babylonia on 14-Apr-2008
    you are very welcome~
    babylonia
Comment from earthlybeing
Excellent
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Well written. The picture goes well with the poem. It makes sense and every word had meaning on the poem. I see nothing to edit. Thanks for sharing it. Jeanette

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    thanks so much
Comment from S.Yocom
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As you know, Earthwriter, it is difficult to rate a very short poem such as a haiku. However, this one, along with the picture, tells succinctly of the power of nature and the sad results. Nicely done.
Sally

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
    thanks so much
Comment from honeytree
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tornado descends
Random destruction of lives
Sadness left behind


Where would one go to for protection?
I hope their could be an alternative
To death.?

I guess an underground shelter could help.
I guess their are no shelters.

Honeytree.

Tornado descends

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
    thsnk you so much for your kind words and thanks so much for the awesome rating
reply by honeytree on 15-Apr-2008
    I am glad you liked your review Earthwriter ,I enjoyed reading this.your words were so right. honeytree.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Excellent
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Excellent Haiku about the terrible storms. You have all three components of good Haiku. You ha ve instruction, movement and surprise. The last line is especially good for the surprise. Very nice work. Ray.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
    thanks so much
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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Earthwriter, this picture is amazing. I see these things and am awed at how destructive they are. This is a great haiku inspired by a tornado. I look forward to reading more of your work soon.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2008


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
    thanks so much