Reviews from

The Challenge

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Challenge, Act I, Scene 1"
Young Man Has Doubts About Becoming a Priest

39 total reviews 
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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I can see this play has potential. I can imagine all kinds of people who come to visit Phillip and their confessions.

I'm looking forward to reading more.

Well done.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Thank you, Lisa. There will be a slew of confessions. I'll be happy to see you eavesdropping on them all.
reply by Jasmine Girl on 02-Nov-2021
    Wow. They'd better be good, fun, disturbing or juicy.

    You must be a Catholic.

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2021
    No, I'm not Catholic. But Catholicism in the 50s was a force to reckon with then.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Jay,

Wow. An innocuous enough beginning. Why do I feel so certain things will not remain this way for long? *smile*

Oh, yeah - because I know who's driving the bus. haha

Good start. Thanks!

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    You know who's driving the bus! That's precious, thanks! And yes, thank goodness people had problems in the 50s. It gives us old dudes who lived through them something to write about. Thank you bunches, Robyn. I hope to see you as a regular for this play.
Comment from NABattaglia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Starting up a new script is very hard, and you make it look effortless. I was able to read some of your other work, and enjoyed the snippets, but this is the first one I am catching from the start. I am looking forward to seeing how this progress. What is nice about this is how you laid it all out and I could get the characters, scene, timeframe, and all of the other housekeeping information out right away and in a crisp, clear fashion. Thanks for your hard work!

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Thank you, N.A., not just for the 6 stars, but for your kind words. And since you mentioned it being the first you are starting from the beginning, I want to thank you in advance for your loyalty though all I'm going to drag these characters through. The 50s, for many, was an unforgiving time. Many will be seeking redemption in this play, I promise you.
Comment from Senyai
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jay,

Oh this is so interesting! A completely different setting and characters from 'Genius in Love', but still in the 1950's that I love to relate to. Hmm, Phillip is a beast of a man with rippling arms and thighs and hoping to be a future priest who is graduating today. His mother, Margaret, is a warm southern woman who is widowed. Phillip's brother James is a year younger and has political aspirations. Two extreme ends of the spectrum for brothers, but not surprising with one wanting to be a priest. Choosing to be a priest is usually a spiritual calling or should be. There is an interesting sentence in the beginning that is strange and has my interest piqued...

"Phillip's recent disclosure burns in James's gut like a drop of acid."

I haven't met the sister, Susan, who is confined to a wheelchair. But Phillip feels bad about the money spent on his Notre Dame education instead of his sister's medical bills.... a source of guilt here.

James is acutely ambitious and drinking a bit much. I wonder if there is jealousy between the two bothers that comes to a head in the future? But I will have to wait and see, Jay LOL.

Interesting start to this play, The Challenge, that I look forward to reading. I felt so lost without a new chapter of Corney to read so am delighted you started a new play for us FanStorians :))

The huge picture on the wall of Phillip's room, Christ on the Cross, his father scraped to pay for, to get seems of great significance as a source of strength and perhaps of, dare I say ...guilt perhaps?

Looking forward to your next post, Jay :)) and

All the best,
Senyai

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Always good to get your review early on so I can find out what I wrote about. Said with a wry grin, but a lot of truth in it, too. Your analysis often brings out the essential of what I wanted said, and what I only wanted hinted at. So good! Like a Cliff's Notes for each chapter.

    I can only give out one thumbs up a month ... so, here's yours!

    Oh, one thing ... Do you see the crucifix as a picture on the wall? Or an actual cross?
reply by Senyai on 01-Nov-2021
    Jay, I saw it as an actual wooden cross on the wall with Christ upon it crucified. Was that your intention, because I saw it this way, bigger than life for being on a bedroom wall.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    No, it should be an actual large cross with Jesus on it. In your review, you called it, "The huge picture on the wall of Phillip's room." I just wanted to make sure you were envisioning it as planned. Yes, there's a lot of guilt in our parish priest.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    No, it should be an actual large cross with Jesus on it. In your review, you called it, "The huge picture on the wall of Phillip's room." I just wanted to make sure you were envisioning it as planned. Yes, there's a lot of guilt in our parish priest.
reply by Senyai on 01-Nov-2021
    Sorry Jay? I meant a large cross not picture:))

    Yes, I see guilt coming into play in your great beginning to The Challenge.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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How interesting, a 6'7" priestly graduate, a brother who's only a few inches shy of his brother, and politically ambitious and a mother who is proud of her sons, but a little lacking, forms a great plot in a script Jay, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Thank you, Roy. We'll see how this will play out over the next few scenes.
reply by royowen on 01-Nov-2021
    Well done
Comment from BethShelby
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm sure I'm going to love this story. You make all your characters and their dialogue seem so real. Even the setting for the stories are so detailed I feel as if I'm seeing it all unfold.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Oh, Beth! What a delightful way to wake up in the morning ... to have a lovely review and 6 stars from someone I so respect!
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
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Hello Jay,
I am still getting used to the American way of life. Your introduction of the characters and the setting helps me a lot to understand the story. I see that the husband Phillip and the wife Martha are at opposite ends of the spectrum; physically and mentally. Realistic. You tell the story through your characters. Interesting. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Thank you, Seshadri. I always enjoy having you weigh in on what I write here. I do want to make a correction, though on what you were perceiving: Phillip is the son. Margaret (not Martha) is his mother, not wife. The opposition, though, physically and mentally is spot-on. Please do keep reading, my friend.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This General Script, Act 1, Scene 1, a stage play, speaks dramatically and realistically thru characters the challenge opens thru the detailed and orderly setting; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR

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 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Thank you, Alcreator, for reading this and weighing in on your take of it.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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I really liked how you created these believable characters. The mother has the typical forgetfulness and mixture of emotions of pride, and wanting the best for her kids and still trying to manipulate some change. Great dialogue.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
    Great review, thank you, Helen. This is character playing off character with (as the plot develops) focus on Phillip's life played against the canvas of the times. You are da bomb!