Biggles Bunny and Big Ted
A toddler learns a life lesson28 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
Lord jamin a jar..this brought tears to my eyes. I never had this experience exactly but my mother has been dead many years. I thought of Granny who lost her mother when she was four. She saw the casket lowered into the ground and fill with water as it was raining so hard.
Love transcends
God bless
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
  |
Lord jamin a jar..this brought tears to my eyes. I never had this experience exactly but my mother has been dead many years. I thought of Granny who lost her mother when she was four. She saw the casket lowered into the ground and fill with water as it was raining so hard.
Love transcends
God bless
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
-
Oh, Jenny, it is so special when I hear my words have touched someone. I am so moved that you shared such a personal memory. :(
Thank you :)
Best. John
-
John your writing gets better and better as you touch chords in hearts...
Comment from KatyM
Loved the story! This reminds me of my daughter's "Puppy". He was handed down to her when she was 2. I sewed him up more times than I can remember. My daughter is now 26 and can sew better than me. lol Thanks for letting me remember. Sweet memories. Happy Writing, Katy
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
|
Loved the story! This reminds me of my daughter's "Puppy". He was handed down to her when she was 2. I sewed him up more times than I can remember. My daughter is now 26 and can sew better than me. lol Thanks for letting me remember. Sweet memories. Happy Writing, Katy
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
-
Thanks for sharing your memories. It is lovely to hear back when my writing had touched someone like that.
Thanks again
John
Comment from Mastery
Hi, John. I like your style of telling this story. It seemed realistic and interesting all the way through. It did not "bog" down as some stories can in the telling. A good warm human interest story, too.
Suggestion: "she crumpled to the wooden floor like a sack of potatoes. Her cries were heard all through the house as she screamed like a stuck pig." Two simile this close together is not a good idea plus they are both cliches.
Good job, my friend, Bob
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
|
Hi, John. I like your style of telling this story. It seemed realistic and interesting all the way through. It did not "bog" down as some stories can in the telling. A good warm human interest story, too.
Suggestion: "she crumpled to the wooden floor like a sack of potatoes. Her cries were heard all through the house as she screamed like a stuck pig." Two simile this close together is not a good idea plus they are both cliches.
Good job, my friend, Bob
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
-
Thank you Bob for the great review. Your points were duly noted and the text revised.
Thanks again my friend.
Best
John
-
:) Glad to help. Bob
Comment from Miss Sherry
Oh, it is hard to type through tears. This totally tore at my heart. Wonderful story, sir - just perfect in every way. There were Ing's in my childhood and they always seemed to win. You made love shine through when mommy picked her up and understood. Then the satori when we realize it is her mom's funeral...and she picks up her little girl, who is holding Biggles Bunny and Big Ted. Just ethereal moments.
I love this story!!
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
|
Oh, it is hard to type through tears. This totally tore at my heart. Wonderful story, sir - just perfect in every way. There were Ing's in my childhood and they always seemed to win. You made love shine through when mommy picked her up and understood. Then the satori when we realize it is her mom's funeral...and she picks up her little girl, who is holding Biggles Bunny and Big Ted. Just ethereal moments.
I love this story!!
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
-
Oh thank you so much Miss Sherry. It is such a lovely compliment to my work.
I am too am touched that it meant so much to you.
Such lovely thoughts.
Thank you so much.
Best
John
-
It was just beautiful and so touching!!
Comment from Kerissa Savea
Ingrid. That bitch.
Haha! Oh wait, I'm new here, is that too far? Naaaaaa-- no way. Not after what she did to BB & BT!!
And the ending is so bittersweet, I totally shed some. This is gold, my friend.
:) K
PS: My little sister was quite the ornery little chit and is very likely the Ing in many of her classmates' recollections -- don't tell her I told you (wink, wink).
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
 |
Ingrid. That bitch.
Haha! Oh wait, I'm new here, is that too far? Naaaaaa-- no way. Not after what she did to BB & BT!!
And the ending is so bittersweet, I totally shed some. This is gold, my friend.
:) K
PS: My little sister was quite the ornery little chit and is very likely the Ing in many of her classmates' recollections -- don't tell her I told you (wink, wink).
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
-
Kerissa, wow! Thank you so much for the six stars. I am very honoured and very grateful.
Ha ha I bet you and your sister are very close. I won"t tell her what you said though. ;)
Thanks again
John
Comment from Carla Trinklein
This made me laugh and cry. I am very close to my mother and live in dread of the day I'll lose her. What a vivid story. Poor Biggles and Big Ted.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
|
This made me laugh and cry. I am very close to my mother and live in dread of the day I'll lose her. What a vivid story. Poor Biggles and Big Ted.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
-
Thank you Carla. Please may you never ever lose her.
I am touched that you went through so many emotions reading my work.
Thank you for a lovy review.
Comment from JudyE
What a lovely story. Shades of Lord of the Flies come to mind. :)
I did pick up a few points: I would have ended the second sentence with a question mark, just as you did the first. 'When you were just a young innocent child, happily at play, alone with your favourite toys.'
'As she ran forward to grab the old bear you made a valiant effort to rise to your feet, alas you were still three long weeks away from taking your first toddler steps.' Period after feet.
'stuffing from out of Big Ted' - delete 'from'.
His insides were everywhere, she tore at his head - period after 'everywhere'.
'wiped way a tear,' - should be 'wiped away a tear'.
You've given us a really nice ending. Three cheers for Biggles Bunny and Big Ted! Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
|
What a lovely story. Shades of Lord of the Flies come to mind. :)
I did pick up a few points: I would have ended the second sentence with a question mark, just as you did the first. 'When you were just a young innocent child, happily at play, alone with your favourite toys.'
'As she ran forward to grab the old bear you made a valiant effort to rise to your feet, alas you were still three long weeks away from taking your first toddler steps.' Period after feet.
'stuffing from out of Big Ted' - delete 'from'.
His insides were everywhere, she tore at his head - period after 'everywhere'.
'wiped way a tear,' - should be 'wiped away a tear'.
You've given us a really nice ending. Three cheers for Biggles Bunny and Big Ted! Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
-
Thank you Judy. I acted immediately on your advice and cleaned up this prose. Though I was a bit tardy responding to your review.
I loved it.
Thank you
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Lord,
WOW! This is a really powerful story! I fully expected mom to fix the bear and bunny, but certainly did not expect her to be lowered into her grave as this story was being told. Thanks so much for a great read! Jan
PS- A shame Ing didn't qualify for a Darwin Award. Ha ha!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
|
Hi Lord,
WOW! This is a really powerful story! I fully expected mom to fix the bear and bunny, but certainly did not expect her to be lowered into her grave as this story was being told. Thanks so much for a great read! Jan
PS- A shame Ing didn't qualify for a Darwin Award. Ha ha!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
-
Thank you Muse. I am very pleased by your words. This is a wonderful review.
Darwin would turn in his grace. LOL
Best
John