Love Me Once More
Love is strong and will return to me34 total reviews
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, such a sad lament - this emotional write has touched my heart and it grieves for you - a condition that arises with a deeply expressed emotional write. Your heart is in the write, as is lingering hope - contest compliant. Much luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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In my opinion, such a sad lament - this emotional write has touched my heart and it grieves for you - a condition that arises with a deeply expressed emotional write. Your heart is in the write, as is lingering hope - contest compliant. Much luck in the contest...
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you very much, I have just another of yours, your comments and help are very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are sincerely welcome...Eve
Comment from Sankey
Such a strong yearning I see through your words. I am glad you were confident love given would return. This was sad but I felt a lot of affinity especially as regards my father who left me when I was small but only returned to my Mother when I was too old for him to be any benefit to me. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Such a strong yearning I see through your words. I am glad you were confident love given would return. This was sad but I felt a lot of affinity especially as regards my father who left me when I was small but only returned to my Mother when I was too old for him to be any benefit to me. Well done.
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you very much for such an understanding review and the 6 rating very inspirational****kahpot
Comment from Air Spirit
a very emotive and descriptive poem of your pain and loss from the death of a brother... and the surviving child can never take the place or replace that child... but the parents are emotionally healthy should ultimately put the [remaining] child's needs over their own -- and so many parents I don't think can honestly do that... at least, not all the time.. but with a healthy love in the home, and room enough for all to be loved, I feel it should be able to transcend that loss, and make your remaining child that even more special and important... you have learned the value of a lost life, and now those remaining in your life, I would think would take on even more importance.. but not always so.. your poem paints a lonely, sad, confused, hurt child -- always will be a childhood seeking approval from the parents.. but some who have lost, close off.. and are oblivious to the ones around us who have been there.. been constant, loving and supportive... I don't know what the answer is my friend, but I share your hurt.. and had a similar experience in my family... some of my favorite: of your lines are: "...return to me what grief has taken
don't leave me here to be forsaken ... and your love was promised when I was born
your love was promised not to be torn..." Excellent poem --
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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a very emotive and descriptive poem of your pain and loss from the death of a brother... and the surviving child can never take the place or replace that child... but the parents are emotionally healthy should ultimately put the [remaining] child's needs over their own -- and so many parents I don't think can honestly do that... at least, not all the time.. but with a healthy love in the home, and room enough for all to be loved, I feel it should be able to transcend that loss, and make your remaining child that even more special and important... you have learned the value of a lost life, and now those remaining in your life, I would think would take on even more importance.. but not always so.. your poem paints a lonely, sad, confused, hurt child -- always will be a childhood seeking approval from the parents.. but some who have lost, close off.. and are oblivious to the ones around us who have been there.. been constant, loving and supportive... I don't know what the answer is my friend, but I share your hurt.. and had a similar experience in my family... some of my favorite: of your lines are: "...return to me what grief has taken
don't leave me here to be forsaken ... and your love was promised when I was born
your love was promised not to be torn..." Excellent poem --
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Wow, your very understanding review has near brought tears to my eyes many, many thanks, and hopefully, the answer will sort itself out****kahpot
Comment from Pantygynt
To be rejected by parents in favour of a sibling now dead must be a difficult situation to bear. Perhaps if you keep loving eventually the dawn will break upon them and they will see your worth. The more they reject you the more they are losing after all.
The poem flows well with no forced rhyme that I can see. This will be one the judges remember, different from all the hearts and flowers that proliferate in this poetic genre.
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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To be rejected by parents in favour of a sibling now dead must be a difficult situation to bear. Perhaps if you keep loving eventually the dawn will break upon them and they will see your worth. The more they reject you the more they are losing after all.
The poem flows well with no forced rhyme that I can see. This will be one the judges remember, different from all the hearts and flowers that proliferate in this poetic genre.
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you for your excellent review and very kind words****kahpot
Comment from Drea M
This was a beautiful and moving poem. It gave me the chills of grief and sadness.
"your love was promised when I was born
your love was promised not to be torn"
Hits me in a struggling relationship of my own.
Thank you for sharing something so deep.
-Drea M
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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This was a beautiful and moving poem. It gave me the chills of grief and sadness.
"your love was promised when I was born
your love was promised not to be torn"
Hits me in a struggling relationship of my own.
Thank you for sharing something so deep.
-Drea M
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the 6 rating and I hope your relationship works for you****kahpot
Comment from meeshu
a very emotionally touching write, Kahpot. it is a devastating situation for you all. give each other a wide berth and let the grief run its course......meeshu
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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a very emotionally touching write, Kahpot. it is a devastating situation for you all. give each other a wide berth and let the grief run its course......meeshu
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you very much, a wide birth we have, course still to be decided****kahpot
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Love Me Once More" is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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"Love Me Once More" is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Wow thank you very much what a wonderful and inspirational review many thank yous****kahpot
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kahpot, you certainly deserved the wonderful and inspirational review.
Take care, God bless you and best wishes,
the Duchess
Comment from Thomas Bowling
As my brother and I were growing up, my mother always loved him more than me. After she died, I told him how I felt. He said, "I always thought she loved you more."
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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As my brother and I were growing up, my mother always loved him more than me. After she died, I told him how I felt. He said, "I always thought she loved you more."
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you, and yes it seems to work that way quite often****kahpot
Comment from robyn corum
K,
This piece makes me sad.
I would like to think it's fiction but you haven't labeled it as such.
There is no real excuse for a mother to withhold love, but I would understand a mom grieving so deeply for one child that they might try to set themselves apart from the other, in an emotional sense, hoping to avoid feeling that pain again.
But it's so unfair to the child!!
Some notes:
1.) downhill spiral as grief(')s reflection
2.) as love(')s support is now abstract
3.) love these lines:
I stay alive in the hope you see
there's only me, there's only me
4.) you need to look past (my) brother('s) grave
Sending hugs--
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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K,
This piece makes me sad.
I would like to think it's fiction but you haven't labeled it as such.
There is no real excuse for a mother to withhold love, but I would understand a mom grieving so deeply for one child that they might try to set themselves apart from the other, in an emotional sense, hoping to avoid feeling that pain again.
But it's so unfair to the child!!
Some notes:
1.) downhill spiral as grief(')s reflection
2.) as love(')s support is now abstract
3.) love these lines:
I stay alive in the hope you see
there's only me, there's only me
4.) you need to look past (my) brother('s) grave
Sending hugs--
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thank you very much, I have corrected the ( brother's) if it was fiction I would have labeled as such, you seem to have liked as much as you disliked so must admit I don't really understand only 4 stars, many thanks****kahpot
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The lowered rating was because of the nits I mentioned.
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Fair enough, though when I detect (nits) I offer help at no cost to the work and intention of the piece I have read****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
This is such a tragedy when a parent is so depressed by losing a child that s/he cannot fully love the surviving children. So much healing is needed and a child can't comprehend that a parent is sometimes too fragile to overcome their own griefs.
Comment that the plural possessive was used:
"I cannot be my brothers' cost " (brother's)
"you need to look past brothers' grave " (brother's)
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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This is such a tragedy when a parent is so depressed by losing a child that s/he cannot fully love the surviving children. So much healing is needed and a child can't comprehend that a parent is sometimes too fragile to overcome their own griefs.
Comment that the plural possessive was used:
"I cannot be my brothers' cost " (brother's)
"you need to look past brothers' grave " (brother's)
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Thank you very much, I have corrected mistakes (thank you) healing will come****kahpot