The Ballad of Hairless Joe
All boys need their heroes.32 total reviews
Comment from Thal1959
Hello, I created the "Write a Poem of Length" contest, and I'm glad to see such a good, quality piece. I enjoyed the authentic old west "vernacular," and expressions. It read smoothly throughout which is hard for any poem of length. Only a few easy to fix typos, "I ain't bein' rude@ I'm Bible-taught." (the "at symbol" can't be right.) And at the end, "cuz big boys jest don't crry." But these two, small typos do not merit a reduction in stars. Good Luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Hello, I created the "Write a Poem of Length" contest, and I'm glad to see such a good, quality piece. I enjoyed the authentic old west "vernacular," and expressions. It read smoothly throughout which is hard for any poem of length. Only a few easy to fix typos, "I ain't bein' rude@ I'm Bible-taught." (the "at symbol" can't be right.) And at the end, "cuz big boys jest don't crry." But these two, small typos do not merit a reduction in stars. Good Luck on the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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First, I should thank you for creating this prompt, Thal, and being so patient regarding my entry. But mostly I appreciate your wonderful praise of my lengthy ballad and those six bright stars. I did fix my typos thanks to your sharp eyes. Many, many thanks!
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It was my pleasure. I told winnona I wouldn't mind coming in second or third place. My poem received the recognized and all-time best status I had hoped for. I was very happy to see your entry because there was son many problems with the contest. I believe four or five of the 18 people deleted their entries, probably thinking their work wouldn't qualify. I think at least ten entries might not qualify.
I couldn't believe how much trouble there was with people confused as to what a "line' was. The first entries were 60 quatrains which are 240 lines! Anyway, thanks again for the fine entry.
Comment from Ogden
That's quite a tale! Pleasantly corny, involving, heartwarming and very well-written.
Your meter is impeccable, accounting for the comfortable, easy flow of the verse.
I do have one small caveat to call to your attention. I'm sure you labored over a suitable rhyme for your sixteenth stanza, but I think you might consider spending some additional time with those lines, and bring them up to the standards of the rest of your piece, in which the rhyming is exceptionally good.
I probably shouldn't say "Bravo!" to an old saddlesore geezer of the prairies like yourself, and I'm not sufficiently equipped with Western lingo to say anything more appropriate than "Good job, pardner!" And good luck in the contest!
Don
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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That's quite a tale! Pleasantly corny, involving, heartwarming and very well-written.
Your meter is impeccable, accounting for the comfortable, easy flow of the verse.
I do have one small caveat to call to your attention. I'm sure you labored over a suitable rhyme for your sixteenth stanza, but I think you might consider spending some additional time with those lines, and bring them up to the standards of the rest of your piece, in which the rhyming is exceptionally good.
I probably shouldn't say "Bravo!" to an old saddlesore geezer of the prairies like yourself, and I'm not sufficiently equipped with Western lingo to say anything more appropriate than "Good job, pardner!" And good luck in the contest!
Don
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed my lengthy ballad, Don. I love your description of it as "pleasantly corny, involving, heartwarming." I couldn't ask for nicer praise. Thanks so much for sharing and all those bright stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An epic write, well written and rhymed, amazing story, love the language, took me straight into the story of outlaws and the Wild West, fabulous flow, a well deserved winner and wish I could award 6 stars to this brilliant read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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An epic write, well written and rhymed, amazing story, love the language, took me straight into the story of outlaws and the Wild West, fabulous flow, a well deserved winner and wish I could award 6 stars to this brilliant read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Dolly, for your lavish praise of "Hairless Joe."
Comment from Dean Kuch
I did enjoy reading this epic western poetic yarn, Anonymous Poet.
It reminded me of a lot of the peotry written by two of my favorite Australian bush poets--A.B. 'Banjo" Paterson and Henry Lawson.
The rhyming, timing, and cadence you've created is an amazingly smooth and easy going read for a poem of this massive girth.
Too many great lines to mention.
We'd be here all night if I did.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
I'll be watching for your entry when it hits the booths...
~Dean (so sorry, no sixes!)
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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I did enjoy reading this epic western poetic yarn, Anonymous Poet.
It reminded me of a lot of the peotry written by two of my favorite Australian bush poets--A.B. 'Banjo" Paterson and Henry Lawson.
The rhyming, timing, and cadence you've created is an amazingly smooth and easy going read for a poem of this massive girth.
Too many great lines to mention.
We'd be here all night if I did.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
I'll be watching for your entry when it hits the booths...
~Dean (so sorry, no sixes!)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Dean, for sharing my lengthy ballad and all those wonderful comments about it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend,
wow, I don't usually read long rhymed poems but something called my attention on yours. I think it was the picture. I am so glad I read it! It's awesome! You are a wonderful poet and storyteller. Good luck in the contest. I will look for you in the voting booth. :)
Gypsy
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Hello, my friend,
wow, I don't usually read long rhymed poems but something called my attention on yours. I think it was the picture. I am so glad I read it! It's awesome! You are a wonderful poet and storyteller. Good luck in the contest. I will look for you in the voting booth. :)
Gypsy
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Gypsy, for taking the time to read my lengthy ballad. I am delighted you enjoyed it and appreciate the kind praise.
Comment from nancyjam
I enjoyed reading this "poem of length" Great story, strong
meter and rhyme move the story along.
Great images conveyed through excellent word choice.
Good luck in the contest,
Nancy
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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I enjoyed reading this "poem of length" Great story, strong
meter and rhyme move the story along.
Great images conveyed through excellent word choice.
Good luck in the contest,
Nancy
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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I am delighted when women enjoy a western yarn. Thank you so much for sharing mine and your very kind praise, Nancy.
Comment from Alex Biasin
Yee-hah!
That was a cracking yarn.
A really good western tale, told in excellent style.
The pacing was spot on and telling the story from the youngsters point of view was done very well, capturing his enthusiasm and fear all at once.
I really enjoyed this a lot. Great work!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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Yee-hah!
That was a cracking yarn.
A really good western tale, told in excellent style.
The pacing was spot on and telling the story from the youngsters point of view was done very well, capturing his enthusiasm and fear all at once.
I really enjoyed this a lot. Great work!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Alex, for your enthusiastic review of my ballad and those bright bonus stars.
Comment from winnona
A well-written poem. I have to admit this is the hardest challenge I have ever tried. I think you have done well completing the challenge of the contest. It is yet to be seen if I will be able to. Good luck.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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A well-written poem. I have to admit this is the hardest challenge I have ever tried. I think you have done well completing the challenge of the contest. It is yet to be seen if I will be able to. Good luck.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Winnona. I did not find this challenge too hard because I also write long prose stories.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very interesting story, told as poem. The rhymes are excellent and consistent throughout the meter never falters. It's a very interesting read and held my attention.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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A very interesting story, told as poem. The rhymes are excellent and consistent throughout the meter never falters. It's a very interesting read and held my attention.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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I am delighted my ballad was interesting and held your attention, Thomas. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment from royowen
I remember the movie "Shane" quite vividly, about a mysterious stranger who faces down some land bullies, I love the role of Jack Palance, who is a hired gunman, garbed in black. Eventually the boy, who hero worships Shane is sad to see him go. Well done, a great entry in this "poem of length" contest, is the basis for this well written abcb rhyming poem. Written as an epic, with a great narrative and along with its flowing story path, is absorbing to read, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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I remember the movie "Shane" quite vividly, about a mysterious stranger who faces down some land bullies, I love the role of Jack Palance, who is a hired gunman, garbed in black. Eventually the boy, who hero worships Shane is sad to see him go. Well done, a great entry in this "poem of length" contest, is the basis for this well written abcb rhyming poem. Written as an epic, with a great narrative and along with its flowing story path, is absorbing to read, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Roy. I am delighted you found this lengthy ballad absorbing to read.
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My pleasure