Desire
Woman in heat24 total reviews
Comment from vapros
Your hot verse is artfully created and shows great imagination. It is graphic and exciting, with a block-buster punch line that I did not see coming. Good work.
v
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
  |
Your hot verse is artfully created and shows great imagination. It is graphic and exciting, with a block-buster punch line that I did not see coming. Good work.
v
Comment Written 15-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
-
Thank you Vapros for this most inspiring of reviews my friend. I really enjoyed crafting this piece, for I didn't think I had it in me lol!
God bless!
Comment from AnnieDawn
Wow. I was impressed with your poem and found that the rhyme flowed great. It was easy to read and Just long enough to hold interest and not become boring. One observation though and in the second line. I think 'lie' should be 'lay'. You will do well in the contest. Great job and good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
|
Wow. I was impressed with your poem and found that the rhyme flowed great. It was easy to read and Just long enough to hold interest and not become boring. One observation though and in the second line. I think 'lie' should be 'lay'. You will do well in the contest. Great job and good luck.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
-
Thank you AnnieDawn for this excellent and insightful review. I struggled with Lie and Lay! Thank you for pointing me in the right direction here.
God bless!
Comment from Jay Squires
Ha-ha cleverly written. Don't think it needed the warning at all. It will keep away a lot of readers and it isn't really that explicit.
She pulled his torso against her,
as she bobbled up and down. [I do believe you meant "bobbed" up and down. If she bobbled it she was being clumsy.]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
|
Ha-ha cleverly written. Don't think it needed the warning at all. It will keep away a lot of readers and it isn't really that explicit.
She pulled his torso against her,
as she bobbled up and down. [I do believe you meant "bobbed" up and down. If she bobbled it she was being clumsy.]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
-
Yes, it is bobbed. Lol!
Thank you Jay for this most excellent review my friend. I must admit, I enjoyed crafting this piece.
God bless!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Oh my... I loved the last line to your poem. I guess they did! This was definitely a hot poem. The poem itself had me so absorbed I had to go back and look at it technically. Your rhymes were spot on! Very creative.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
|
Oh my... I loved the last line to your poem. I guess they did! This was definitely a hot poem. The poem itself had me so absorbed I had to go back and look at it technically. Your rhymes were spot on! Very creative.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
-
Wow! Thank you Michael for this most encouraging and excellent review. I wasn't sure I would be able to write like this lol!
God bless!