The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "Wonders of Winter"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
28 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
We are in the deep, deep grips of winter and winters snow here in NJ. Get me out!!!
I enjoyed the classic wording to your poem...
In comforters of frozen fluff
was my favorite...
Nicely done. John
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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We are in the deep, deep grips of winter and winters snow here in NJ. Get me out!!!
I enjoyed the classic wording to your poem...
In comforters of frozen fluff
was my favorite...
Nicely done. John
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi there John,
I think any place that could be cold is cold right now. Although we are supposed to be 62 by Saturday noon. The ups and downs of Nature. So good to hear from you my friend.
Love, Carolyn
Comment from HelenDeakin
Wonderful. I have never seen and I might never see snow with my own eyes but a poem like this makes me really wish I could see it.
I love your use of words in this poem and love how you have scattered the asterisks like snow flakes. Very creative!
I really enjoyed reading this poem and thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Wonderful. I have never seen and I might never see snow with my own eyes but a poem like this makes me really wish I could see it.
I love your use of words in this poem and love how you have scattered the asterisks like snow flakes. Very creative!
I really enjoyed reading this poem and thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi Helen,
Where in the world do you live that you haven't seen snow. Maybe I will come visit you for a week or two. LOL..
I'm delighted you enjoyed this one. In Missouri we have 4 distinct seasons. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
:-) Carolyn
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I live in Australia :-) There is some mountains down south where it snows but sadly I have never been.
Comment from royowen
I remember years ago, up until we emigrated to Australia, I spent the first
8 1/2 yrs of my life in England, and I can remember playing in the snow but not feeling the cold, isn't that funny! I have experienced snow in the mountains of Australia, briefly, and again in NY in 2011. I just loved your poem Carolyn, the joy shines through every syllable, the poem reads and scans so well, I sometimes think free verse can sound awkward, not sure how to read, but it still needs structure, and yours is great, I can't write free verse, even if my life depended on it! Although somebody said "a breeze" would have been better as a free verse, well done, my friend, remind us to Larry. Preaching again? blessings, Roy,
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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I remember years ago, up until we emigrated to Australia, I spent the first
8 1/2 yrs of my life in England, and I can remember playing in the snow but not feeling the cold, isn't that funny! I have experienced snow in the mountains of Australia, briefly, and again in NY in 2011. I just loved your poem Carolyn, the joy shines through every syllable, the poem reads and scans so well, I sometimes think free verse can sound awkward, not sure how to read, but it still needs structure, and yours is great, I can't write free verse, even if my life depended on it! Although somebody said "a breeze" would have been better as a free verse, well done, my friend, remind us to Larry. Preaching again? blessings, Roy,
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Dear Roy,
Thank you for these great comments and reminders of your life experiences. I always delight in hearing them.
Free verse, at least in my head, starts out as a short story. Then I decide which way I want to go. Try that, you will find it works.
Your shining attribute to the piece is fantastic. I am honored.
Yes, Larry will be preaching Sunday both services. Love to you and all... Carolyn
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My pleasure Carolyn, as always.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Carolynn, this has got to be one of the best free verse poems I have read in a long time, I am not a fan of free verse, but this one has a wonderful flow, good alliteration, a wonderful sense of description and imagery, I really enjoyed it, good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi Carolynn, this has got to be one of the best free verse poems I have read in a long time, I am not a fan of free verse, but this one has a wonderful flow, good alliteration, a wonderful sense of description and imagery, I really enjoyed it, good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Thank you Eric for this wonderful review and awesome rating. I'm delighted you have affirmed the poem as free verse is rather difficult to write. Glad you liked it.
:-) Carolyn
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It was brilliant Carolynn.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Carolyn, I was a little put off at first by all the asterisks, until I realised you intended them as snowflakes...
This is a pretty poem describing a snow-clad winter scene. I particularly enjoyed the last image of children as dolphins, plunging into the snow.
You may want to take another look at how you have used verb tenses. Stanza 1 uses past tense. Stanza 2 has no finite verb - technically it's a sentence fragment - why not change 'draping' to 'drapes'
Stanza 3 is in present tense - I feel you would be wise to use this throughout.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Carolyn, I was a little put off at first by all the asterisks, until I realised you intended them as snowflakes...
This is a pretty poem describing a snow-clad winter scene. I particularly enjoyed the last image of children as dolphins, plunging into the snow.
You may want to take another look at how you have used verb tenses. Stanza 1 uses past tense. Stanza 2 has no finite verb - technically it's a sentence fragment - why not change 'draping' to 'drapes'
Stanza 3 is in present tense - I feel you would be wise to use this throughout.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi there Steve,
Thanks for this very through and helpful review. I will take a look at your suggestions.
I'm glad you enjoyed the idea of children as dolphins. One never knows where the imagination will take it.
:-) Carolyn
Comment from mfowler
A tightly written and well composed image of winter's beauty emerges from this write.
You describe a scene of quietness before the cars and kids of the neighbourhood can mar the surface of 'feather beds of luxury, draping neatly on gables and peaks.
Your inclusion of details like the absence of birds and animals around a quiet town, skilfully paints a word picture of the scene.
Nice use of imagery throughout including this lovely line: Through the banked clouds of sleepy dawn
very enjoyable poem.
SPAG alert:
Just quite solitude...Just quiet solitude
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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A tightly written and well composed image of winter's beauty emerges from this write.
You describe a scene of quietness before the cars and kids of the neighbourhood can mar the surface of 'feather beds of luxury, draping neatly on gables and peaks.
Your inclusion of details like the absence of birds and animals around a quiet town, skilfully paints a word picture of the scene.
Nice use of imagery throughout including this lovely line: Through the banked clouds of sleepy dawn
very enjoyable poem.
SPAG alert:
Just quite solitude...Just quiet solitude
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Thanks mfowler,
I had fixed the SPAG and thank you for noticing that also. It is just one more reason to love the FS community.
So glad you enjoyed this one, it was a calming write....
:-) Carolyn
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think I am developing a fondness for free verse which I didn't have previously.
This was really well written and presented (the snowflakes are a nice embellishment!)
The imagery is great in this too.
Nicely done
GMG
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi there,
I think I am developing a fondness for free verse which I didn't have previously.
This was really well written and presented (the snowflakes are a nice embellishment!)
The imagery is great in this too.
Nicely done
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi there and thanks so very much for this wonderful review. I am glad the poem sways your liking for free verse. Sometimes , when the mood is just right, I love writing it.
:-) Carolyn
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Carolyn,
Love the snowflakes in your poem. Most creative. (*<*)
This is a neat entry.
I can remember our mom spending 20 minutes bundling me and Jim up to play in the snow, then we'd be out there 5 minutes and want to come back in!
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Hi, Carolyn,
Love the snowflakes in your poem. Most creative. (*<*)
This is a neat entry.
I can remember our mom spending 20 minutes bundling me and Jim up to play in the snow, then we'd be out there 5 minutes and want to come back in!
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2015
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Yes I remember those bundling up days as well..
Fun memories.. Glad you liked the poem and the snowflakes. Must be the old artist in me... LOL
Have a great day,
Love, Carolyn