His Father's Eyes
Dedicated to a local fallen hero.54 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
This is a lovely epitaph in verse for the young man who's died in war. Your focus on the father's emotions and memories give the poem real connection to the reader through the empathy you develop for the soldier. The description of the war is vivid and moving. I found the verse flowed well, the three elements of the funeral parade, father's grief and war scenario, melded seamlessly due the sombre mood and gentle cadence evolving throughout.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
  |
This is a lovely epitaph in verse for the young man who's died in war. Your focus on the father's emotions and memories give the poem real connection to the reader through the empathy you develop for the soldier. The description of the war is vivid and moving. I found the verse flowed well, the three elements of the funeral parade, father's grief and war scenario, melded seamlessly due the sombre mood and gentle cadence evolving throughout.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
-
Thank you, Mark. I am forwarding all of the reviews and comments to Larry, Will's father, as he said he would truly appreciate reading them. I'm sure your heartwarming review will be very appreciated.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
What a sad and dark memorial writing! While someone was trying to maintain and keep peace for others, some lunatics busied themselves in snuffing life out of a young serving soldier. Too sad.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
|
What a sad and dark memorial writing! While someone was trying to maintain and keep peace for others, some lunatics busied themselves in snuffing life out of a young serving soldier. Too sad.
ola thomas
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
-
Thank you so much, Ola. It is very sad. Any death brought about be the atrocities of war seems needless. But when it is someone so young, with so much promise and zest for life, it is even more disheartening, it seems.
Thanks so much again. I'm sure Will's dad will appreciate your comments.
Comment from royowen
A very sad poem in this in their memory contest, I liked this emotive and well written work, it is a most articulately descriptive, that creates great imagery, I like your chances in this contest, a nice easy to read narrative, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
|
A very sad poem in this in their memory contest, I liked this emotive and well written work, it is a most articulately descriptive, that creates great imagery, I like your chances in this contest, a nice easy to read narrative, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
-
Thank you very much, Roy. At his request, I am forwarding all comments of this poem to Will's father. I'm sure he will be very grateful, as I am.
Thanks again!
Comment from livelylinda
Author: I apologize for not having any six stars left for this poem and dedication and contest entry is the most beautiful one I've ever seen. Playing taps while I was reading this had me sobbing uncontrollably. Hats off to this young man who died so unnecessarily. God, let William set at your right hand as you make his Heavenly home a most loving and pleasant one. Amen livelylinda
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
|
Author: I apologize for not having any six stars left for this poem and dedication and contest entry is the most beautiful one I've ever seen. Playing taps while I was reading this had me sobbing uncontrollably. Hats off to this young man who died so unnecessarily. God, let William set at your right hand as you make his Heavenly home a most loving and pleasant one. Amen livelylinda
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
-
Thanks very much, Linda. I sincerely appreciate that, and I know that Will does too. He was a great kid, and we really miss him around these parts.
Thanks for the prayer, the heartfelt and touching review, and the six stars, the ones in your heart that truly matter. All are deeply appreciated.
Comment from michaelcahill
Wow. This is just wonderful. I hope his family and friends get to see this beautiful tribute. So perfectly done in every way. A thrashing that I take with a smile. Well done, mikey
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
 |
Wow. This is just wonderful. I hope his family and friends get to see this beautiful tribute. So perfectly done in every way. A thrashing that I take with a smile. Well done, mikey
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
-
Thank you, Mikey, and I have shown it to Will's dad. I felt badly because it really made him break down. That is until he gave me a big bear hug (Larry is a very large man!) and thanked me for honoring his boy in such a way. He asked me if he could print off a copy, to have it framed. I've never been so thankful for writing a poem as I was today.
I really appreciate your complimentary review and the six stars. The fact that you also have a dog in this fight and are still so gracious says a great deal about your character, and it means a lot to me as well.
Thanks again, Mikey. I don't know what the tally is. I rarely ever look at contests I am involved in until they are over. With the exception of the story of the month. I voted for michael Battaglia's story just so I could peek at the results every once in a while. It was truly a neck and neck battle to the finish.
Thanks again. I truly appreciate it!
Comment from ravenblack
You do Will a great service by honoring him with your words. I could not imagine losing my son in combat and the father stoic with a tear, his son's voice as a child interspersed with honoring him as a hero- very moving. Click on "contact us" and send a message to Tom, the site administrator so he can place this on the poetry page.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
|
You do Will a great service by honoring him with your words. I could not imagine losing my son in combat and the father stoic with a tear, his son's voice as a child interspersed with honoring him as a hero- very moving. Click on "contact us" and send a message to Tom, the site administrator so he can place this on the poetry page.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
-
Thank you, ravenblack. I really appreciate your kind review.
Whomever sponsored this particular contest and set it up has all of the entries going to prose or stories. So, with that being said, I'm not sure that Tom could do anything about it now. When I entered the contest, this is where my post ended up. Go figure, it is what it is.
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Now, for a moment of silence as I listen to the trumpets glare ... this is fantastic! You outdone yourself this time. You must be using advance editor to paste. I know how to paste via author notes. The added images does add to this trilogy. It's amazing .... need I say more. Happy fourth! wackydo, do loco
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
|
Now, for a moment of silence as I listen to the trumpets glare ... this is fantastic! You outdone yourself this time. You must be using advance editor to paste. I know how to paste via author notes. The added images does add to this trilogy. It's amazing .... need I say more. Happy fourth! wackydo, do loco
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
-
Thanks, wackydo, do loco. Happy fourth to as as well, my friend.
Comment from brentman99
Very touching. As I retired Army officer who spent 9 months in Afghanistan, I attended too many ramp ceremonies not to be moved by your poem. Using a clip that showed many different nations was also a very nice touch. The flag may be American but the feelings are common for all who went or knew someone who did. Thanks for sharing this nice poem.
Brent
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
|
Very touching. As I retired Army officer who spent 9 months in Afghanistan, I attended too many ramp ceremonies not to be moved by your poem. Using a clip that showed many different nations was also a very nice touch. The flag may be American but the feelings are common for all who went or knew someone who did. Thanks for sharing this nice poem.
Brent
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
-
Thank you very much, Brent. As a former US Marine, I felt it would be only fitting to include clips of soldiers from other countries who have fought and died fighting terrorism, as all fighting men (and women) are brothers.
Thank you so much for your fantastic review. I know Will would appreciate it as much as I do.
Comment from AAud
This is so touching, it brought tears to my eyes. It says it all with so few words. The rhyme, the cadence were perfection.
The message is made even more poignant by the way you show a father, putting his son to rest. Bless you for this moving tribute.
|
This is so touching, it brought tears to my eyes. It says it all with so few words. The rhyme, the cadence were perfection.
The message is made even more poignant by the way you show a father, putting his son to rest. Bless you for this moving tribute.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
Comment from Charlene0513
This was not only moving but there carried with it a sense of WHY? A senseless death that never had to be. As though, it has often been said that they want no part of peace or bringing a feeling of security or love into their country. that is why I often question the president's words, "Fight, until you can't fight anymore."
Charlene
|
This was not only moving but there carried with it a sense of WHY? A senseless death that never had to be. As though, it has often been said that they want no part of peace or bringing a feeling of security or love into their country. that is why I often question the president's words, "Fight, until you can't fight anymore."
Charlene
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014