Warrior Poet
A sonnet39 total reviews
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Semper Fi Mr. Puller. Some heavy questions, and some do bend gracefully and submit to age. But I like your ready made answer best. Love the wisdom of the second stanza--for real. Six star material. Kenny
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
  |
Semper Fi Mr. Puller. Some heavy questions, and some do bend gracefully and submit to age. But I like your ready made answer best. Love the wisdom of the second stanza--for real. Six star material. Kenny
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thank you very much, Kenny, for that great review. Semper Fi, brother!
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, David.
Maybe, to avoid 1st line reverse syntax:
'Perhaps my sword's become too dull to weild'
I'm so used to your sexual innuendo, I couldn't help thinking 'sword' and 'arise' related to your ENORMOUS willy. LOL. But of course it doesn't here.
Excellent 'old-fashioned' and dramatic writing, well suited to a sonnet.
Many top lines, including:
'When love was halved, and cast into the void'
Excellent metaphors, meter and rhymes too.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Hi, David.
Maybe, to avoid 1st line reverse syntax:
'Perhaps my sword's become too dull to weild'
I'm so used to your sexual innuendo, I couldn't help thinking 'sword' and 'arise' related to your ENORMOUS willy. LOL. But of course it doesn't here.
Excellent 'old-fashioned' and dramatic writing, well suited to a sonnet.
Many top lines, including:
'When love was halved, and cast into the void'
Excellent metaphors, meter and rhymes too.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
It's not really reverse syntax, Ted. It's more the warrior reflecting on the sword by introducing the item. It's not reversed for the purpose of shoehorning it in.
Thanks for the great review, my friend. I was wondering if any would associate it with the rogue's weapon, and perhaps it is, partially. ;)
-
Fair point, David.
I occasionally use reverse syntax myself, so I'm not one to preach. :-)
Thanks for your gracious review. Ted
Comment from The Death
Hi, David.
Very interesting theme and concept. I enjoyed the bitter-sweet overtones of this sonnet.
The first quatrain presents an confused, self-doubting state of mind, where there are questions, but no answers. Excellent use of R,L consonance in that verse.
I love the ironical contrast in the first line here:
So many friends are foes; old foes, now friends,
Alliances established, then destroyed.
Such sweet beginnings led to bitter ends
When love was halved, and cast into the void.
The above verse conveys a harsh truth of this world. In this mean world, one should always be ready to accept the most unexpected. It holds good for a warrior and a common man, too. Nice use of F,S alliteration and D,N consonance throughout.
The effective introduction of 'volta' makes the thematic sound more powerful:
But battle is the heat that warms my blood
When winter sleeves the earth with skins of frost--
Old warriors will vie in ice or mud
To die with honor gained when life is lost.
It has excellent imagery and emotional depth. You have highlighted the fact that a warrior never fears battles and death, for it's the ultimate homor for him. Excellent use of W,B alliteration and R,L,S consonance.
The concluding couplet reflects the inspired soul of the warrior:
So I will fetch my sword and breach the wall
Once more to reach my peak -- before I fall.
Renewed determination is so crucial in anyone's life.
Superb rhyming and the usual flawless meter enhance its fluidity. I enjoyed this one.
Regards,
Anupam
PS Welcome back! :)
Glad to see you here again.
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Hi, David.
Very interesting theme and concept. I enjoyed the bitter-sweet overtones of this sonnet.
The first quatrain presents an confused, self-doubting state of mind, where there are questions, but no answers. Excellent use of R,L consonance in that verse.
I love the ironical contrast in the first line here:
So many friends are foes; old foes, now friends,
Alliances established, then destroyed.
Such sweet beginnings led to bitter ends
When love was halved, and cast into the void.
The above verse conveys a harsh truth of this world. In this mean world, one should always be ready to accept the most unexpected. It holds good for a warrior and a common man, too. Nice use of F,S alliteration and D,N consonance throughout.
The effective introduction of 'volta' makes the thematic sound more powerful:
But battle is the heat that warms my blood
When winter sleeves the earth with skins of frost--
Old warriors will vie in ice or mud
To die with honor gained when life is lost.
It has excellent imagery and emotional depth. You have highlighted the fact that a warrior never fears battles and death, for it's the ultimate homor for him. Excellent use of W,B alliteration and R,L,S consonance.
The concluding couplet reflects the inspired soul of the warrior:
So I will fetch my sword and breach the wall
Once more to reach my peak -- before I fall.
Renewed determination is so crucial in anyone's life.
Superb rhyming and the usual flawless meter enhance its fluidity. I enjoyed this one.
Regards,
Anupam
PS Welcome back! :)
Glad to see you here again.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thanks so much for the thorough review, Anupam, and for your grasp of the use of the sonnet. Rama Devi would be proud! I appreciate the kind words.
Comment from A Jesterstear
You will never fall big M. This is very much an 'I'm back' statement; but where have you been? Your humorist pen will no doubt reveal all in time. Great poem. AJ.
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
 |
You will never fall big M. This is very much an 'I'm back' statement; but where have you been? Your humorist pen will no doubt reveal all in time. Great poem. AJ.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thanks so much, my friend, for that sixer, and for the great review. I really appreciate it!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh Marillion, I'm so pleased you're back! How wonderful to read your marvelous sonnet!!! I've been away a lot lately too, but I'm sure glad I'M back in time to catch THIS one!
There isn't a phrase I could single out as my favorite - this whole poem sings, and it is most glorious!!!
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Oh Marillion, I'm so pleased you're back! How wonderful to read your marvelous sonnet!!! I've been away a lot lately too, but I'm sure glad I'M back in time to catch THIS one!
There isn't a phrase I could single out as my favorite - this whole poem sings, and it is most glorious!!!
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
I've really missed you, Dawn, and apologize for my absence, which was longer than intended, and though I won't be regular here, I'll be around. Thank you so much for that sixer, and for your kind words. Great to see you again.
Comment from rama devi
Excellent work David. True to form sonnet with flawless meter, great rhyming and a potent theme and tone. The content is well-portrayed with a slow thematic crescendo that builds through an effective volta to culminate in an apt closing couplet. The narrative style, monologue-like, works well. Superb poetic devices woven in, especially the alliteration of A and G in the fist for lines, F in line 5 and L in 6 and 7 (plus consonance of L in the poem in general--and S too)
Destroyed and void--brilliant rhyme!
Nice alliteration of B, W, S and L here:
But battle is the heat that warms my blood
When winter sleeves the earth with skins of frost--
Old warriors will vie in ice or mud
To die with honor gained when life is lost.
Nice internal rhyme:
So I will fetch my sword and breach the wall
Once more to reach my peak -- before I fall.
As usual, wonderful to read aloud.
Potent and impressive write
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Excellent work David. True to form sonnet with flawless meter, great rhyming and a potent theme and tone. The content is well-portrayed with a slow thematic crescendo that builds through an effective volta to culminate in an apt closing couplet. The narrative style, monologue-like, works well. Superb poetic devices woven in, especially the alliteration of A and G in the fist for lines, F in line 5 and L in 6 and 7 (plus consonance of L in the poem in general--and S too)
Destroyed and void--brilliant rhyme!
Nice alliteration of B, W, S and L here:
But battle is the heat that warms my blood
When winter sleeves the earth with skins of frost--
Old warriors will vie in ice or mud
To die with honor gained when life is lost.
Nice internal rhyme:
So I will fetch my sword and breach the wall
Once more to reach my peak -- before I fall.
As usual, wonderful to read aloud.
Potent and impressive write
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thanks so much, Rama. I've missed your wonderful dissections and intelligence, my friend.
-
:-)))
Comment from Ben Colder
Maybe this will help
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Maybe this will help
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thank you, Ben!
Comment from joeakeefe
Sold warriors never die in battle; they just fade away if they let themselves fall into that trap. Remember that the old warrior like the seasoned player does know the "strokes" or the plays whichever you like. Head to head no more; rather planned sabotage or even better a well placed trap. So keep the armor well polished with its joints well oiled. Enjoyed your challenge M.
joeakeefe
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Sold warriors never die in battle; they just fade away if they let themselves fall into that trap. Remember that the old warrior like the seasoned player does know the "strokes" or the plays whichever you like. Head to head no more; rather planned sabotage or even better a well placed trap. So keep the armor well polished with its joints well oiled. Enjoyed your challenge M.
joeakeefe
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thanks so much, Joe, for your insightful and great review.
Comment from Kingsland
I don't see you as even being close to anything like that. But the poem that describes this act is very well written and has excellent poetic language in it. If I could write poetry I would seem lost in this world. This is an excellent piece of poetic art that any poet should have the ability to relate to... John
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
I don't see you as even being close to anything like that. But the poem that describes this act is very well written and has excellent poetic language in it. If I could write poetry I would seem lost in this world. This is an excellent piece of poetic art that any poet should have the ability to relate to... John
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thanks so much, John, for your kind review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Njorgensen
Excellent rhyming and a smooth flow make this an exceptional poem. It has the appearance and manner of classic, traditional poetry.
Njorgensen
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
|
Excellent rhyming and a smooth flow make this an exceptional poem. It has the appearance and manner of classic, traditional poetry.
Njorgensen
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 01-May-2014
-
Thank you very much for your great review.