To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Stardust in Her Eyes"Free Verse Poetry
53 total reviews
Comment from elchupakabra
I really enjoyed this piece aesthetically, Michael. I wonder how many readers will notice the slight color change in the text where you describe the boy compared to the man. I thought the powerful imagery was excellent, as were the strong alliterations. This was my favorite line;
that spins and runs on Saturn's swirling rings
chasing marbles 'round and 'round against the wind
Those lines just created such a cool image in my head and had a great flow to them. Excellent work on this piece and good luck in the voting, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2013
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I really enjoyed this piece aesthetically, Michael. I wonder how many readers will notice the slight color change in the text where you describe the boy compared to the man. I thought the powerful imagery was excellent, as were the strong alliterations. This was my favorite line;
that spins and runs on Saturn's swirling rings
chasing marbles 'round and 'round against the wind
Those lines just created such a cool image in my head and had a great flow to them. Excellent work on this piece and good luck in the voting, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2013
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I appreciate the detailed review and the compliments. I liked that part as well. Thank you kindly. Shocked to be nominated and just happy to be there and for once I actually mean that!! mikey
Comment from Zue65
This poem celebrates how a smitten girl or woman can idealize a lover and look at him as her savior and the knight in the shining armor, blinded by the glitters of love, the passion of romance, and the joys of feeling in love. Your poem captured all these effectively in lilting lines. Thanks for sharing this, God bless.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
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This poem celebrates how a smitten girl or woman can idealize a lover and look at him as her savior and the knight in the shining armor, blinded by the glitters of love, the passion of romance, and the joys of feeling in love. Your poem captured all these effectively in lilting lines. Thanks for sharing this, God bless.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
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You have it exactly on the money. So delighted you understood and enjoyed. thank you kindly. mikey
Comment from forestport12
Enjoyed this poem. I'm not a good critic of poetry. But I think caught the alliteration where the words gave me that bite off my tongue as pronounced them. It felt like I was riding on one of those bouncing balls over a sheet of music. Powerful, symbolic with soaring metaphors. After all we are made from stardust.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
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Enjoyed this poem. I'm not a good critic of poetry. But I think caught the alliteration where the words gave me that bite off my tongue as pronounced them. It felt like I was riding on one of those bouncing balls over a sheet of music. Powerful, symbolic with soaring metaphors. After all we are made from stardust.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
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I loved your critique very much. So, I think you are an excellent critic. Of course, since you are so complimentary I suppose I would!! Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from MM lives on :)
Michael, a slice of poetic justice in this sea of felonious penned scribbling...shall the jesus freaks let down thine locks for a bought ticket...a contest of uncontested realities my friend. A beautiful love story with alliteration and metaphors..
Best of luck and stay different from the flock of sheep of simplicity and falsely labeled religion
bravo~!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
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Michael, a slice of poetic justice in this sea of felonious penned scribbling...shall the jesus freaks let down thine locks for a bought ticket...a contest of uncontested realities my friend. A beautiful love story with alliteration and metaphors..
Best of luck and stay different from the flock of sheep of simplicity and falsely labeled religion
bravo~!
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
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Wonderful encouraging words. Never was one for crowds! Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from ragamuffin
A very lovely piece. Wonderful flow and a great picture for the mind's eye as well. Gives off a nice, warm feel of love that sees only the best. I think what it expresses is as it should be. Certainly well done and very enjoyable to read.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
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A very lovely piece. Wonderful flow and a great picture for the mind's eye as well. Gives off a nice, warm feel of love that sees only the best. I think what it expresses is as it should be. Certainly well done and very enjoyable to read.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
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Lovely comments. So very appreciated. Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
This is a terrific write, Michael! I'm not normally much of a fan for free verse poetry, but I think your entertaining write has converted me.
You have created wonderful imagery for your reader, and your alliterations are just great. Loved the premise of the write as well. The artwork you chose is stellar and perfectly befits your poem and vice versa.
Great job! I loved it! Best wishes for the poem of the month contest! This deserves to win it!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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This is a terrific write, Michael! I'm not normally much of a fan for free verse poetry, but I think your entertaining write has converted me.
You have created wonderful imagery for your reader, and your alliterations are just great. Loved the premise of the write as well. The artwork you chose is stellar and perfectly befits your poem and vice versa.
Great job! I loved it! Best wishes for the poem of the month contest! This deserves to win it!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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I am so delighted you liked this. What wonderful compliments. I would do a cartwheel if it wouldn't kill me! Free verse can be good if we don't get lazy and forget to be poetic. That is what happens a lot. I do it myself. It is easy to do without structure. But, it can be good if the same amount of work is put in that one would on a structured piece. well, I am so shocked to be nominated. thank you for the wonderful praise and support. big smiles!! mikey
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Mikey,
I think you hit the nail on the head when you say that we just can't be lazy and forget to be poetic. I guess I have read sooo many free verse poems that are not poetic, and it just seems that a person's thoughts are splashed about willy nilly, and the poems are not the least bit entertaining.
Maybe by the next time I send a sixer your way you'll have figured out how to do those cartwheels? Better start now! :)
Connie
Comment from MoIronE13
Masterpiece my friend.
Brought tear to my eyes
And joy to my heart
Stardust full of memories
That blinded with love's magical spell
I absolutely LOVE the;
this silly small boy that skims rocks
from shore to distant shore unseen
watching ripples write adventures
on the water's flustered face
Come on. man!
Blow me timbers down..
A sure WIN!
Right on, brother~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>>>>
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Masterpiece my friend.
Brought tear to my eyes
And joy to my heart
Stardust full of memories
That blinded with love's magical spell
I absolutely LOVE the;
this silly small boy that skims rocks
from shore to distant shore unseen
watching ripples write adventures
on the water's flustered face
Come on. man!
Blow me timbers down..
A sure WIN!
Right on, brother~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>>>>
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Wow. What a review. I'm shocked to be nominated to be honest. A great honor and surprise. We'll see if I get any votes. hahaha. Good reviews and votes don't always go together. Thanks for the encouragement and all the stars. Most appreciated my friend, mikey
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I'll be a voting for ya!
Comment from lakeport
Stardust in her eyes, indeed that's a beautiful expressed story poem,very nice flow. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Stardust in her eyes, indeed that's a beautiful expressed story poem,very nice flow. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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How very nice to hear. So pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you kindly, mikey
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your welcome.Lakeport.
Comment from gene roush
I like this very much.
Your balancing act of perceptions is well drawn.
I believe all poetry should be read aloud the voice of this teeters beautifully.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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I like this very much.
Your balancing act of perceptions is well drawn.
I believe all poetry should be read aloud the voice of this teeters beautifully.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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That is nice to hear. I had to read it a few times to get it going out loud. I seem to have written a bit of a mouthful, at least for myself. I am pleased you enjoyed. Thanks for the great review, mikey
Comment from Tatarka2
I loved the use of descriptive words to create a word picture, as well as the juxtaposition of how she sees you and the little boy you feel yourself to be. I know so many will relate to this. The poem flowed smoothly and lyrically. Very well done.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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I loved the use of descriptive words to create a word picture, as well as the juxtaposition of how she sees you and the little boy you feel yourself to be. I know so many will relate to this. The poem flowed smoothly and lyrically. Very well done.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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What wonderful words to hear. I am so pleased you enjoyed this. Thank you so much, mikey