Sewn Into the Sky
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Sewn Into the Sky"Collection of Free Style Poetry
39 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
Your author's note are spot on. Exactly what I learned from metaphysical teachings. Minute observations of what you term simple, familiar boring. Not to a poet like you who can turn up some fabulous phrases:
hiss of humming tires
snapping crunch
rosemary bushes ~quivering...with their pointed barbs,
a deafening pitch,
like the pull of a bow across crusted violin strings
All together it's like fingernails scraping across a blackboard.
Then the ephiphany:
shout of a vacant voice, breathless, which stole my senses
Her song was silence, an empty hollow, left where the wind had run ...
I'd like to say your father's words are right, but loneliness is not always a choice. Depression caused by a chemical imbalance is hard to defeat without pills. I know. Been there, done that. Runs in the family at least on the female side.
This site does help a lot and that's why I stay on it.
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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2013
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Your author's note are spot on. Exactly what I learned from metaphysical teachings. Minute observations of what you term simple, familiar boring. Not to a poet like you who can turn up some fabulous phrases:
hiss of humming tires
snapping crunch
rosemary bushes ~quivering...with their pointed barbs,
a deafening pitch,
like the pull of a bow across crusted violin strings
All together it's like fingernails scraping across a blackboard.
Then the ephiphany:
shout of a vacant voice, breathless, which stole my senses
Her song was silence, an empty hollow, left where the wind had run ...
I'd like to say your father's words are right, but loneliness is not always a choice. Depression caused by a chemical imbalance is hard to defeat without pills. I know. Been there, done that. Runs in the family at least on the female side.
This site does help a lot and that's why I stay on it.
;
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2013
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You know you picked out the exact line that I wanted to stand out actually. Breathless, senses, silence. I'm so grateful for that. Thank you. You also picked up on the sounds. I'm so happy to have a poet read this because only a poet can pick up on what the writer is intending to emphasize. I drive my wife crazy trying to talk about it ;)
On the loneliness side. Loneliness here wasn't really directed at depression. Its me talking to myself. I suffer from major depressive disorder (they don't know if its Bipolar because I've never had the ups) and severe anxiety. I'm basically saying that I don't have to feel this lonely. But its just the epiphany I felt through that night. Doesn't mean it sticks with me. Its what I want to logically feel. Depression in my case, is inherited from both parents, and a chemical imbalance. So my "loneliness" when it hits, is a punch in the stomach. I can hug my wife, my dogs, my family and still feel "lonely". I just wish I could hold on to that epiphany and actually "feel" it all the time. Hopefully tat wasn't too much rambling. My heart goes out to anyone, anyone who has had to battle that mobster, that depression is. I despise it. There needs to be more done and once I'm through this rough place in my life that I'm in now, I want to to do more, in some way. I think I'm supposed to. It took two of my best friends. I hate it. Again, sorry to ramble, just an important topic in my life, especially now.
Thank you immensely for the six. What a generous review. I'm starting to get confidence in my writing for the first time. Like i actually Am talented or have something. I truly appreciate it. So very much.
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Thyroid imbalance was part of the problem- started at age 20. My grandaughter, age six, was recently diagnosed as underactive! Anyway, I'm taked meds for depression off and on through my life. They really do help!
Valium was the best, but too addictive. You'd be surprised at the number of people who take uppers of some sort. :-) I don't know how old you are ,but maybe some of it is a midlife crises? Also, think about what turning point, good or bad, happened when you were 29. Late now. Time for Harlen Coben and a good night's sleep-pill induced, of course, but who cares?
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Oh I see. I recently got married. Well a year and a half ago. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm just getting rid of some damage done before I met her, abandonment issues, etc. I'm getting better. I'm 32. I had a bad arm injury, almost died, three years ago. Was on heavy narcotics for pain. I decided to go off them in February though and I just now finished tapering off them. So that plays a factor too in the depression. Never mentally addicted but physically I was. So its been hard. I just want my brain chemicals to get back to normal. But I'll always have to take an antidepressant/anti anxiety medication of some sort. Genetics. Sleep pill induced ;) I take stuff to sleep for sure.
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The love of a good woman is the best medicine for depression. Sounds as if the arm injury happened when you were 29. Try to embrace the shadow side of yourself. It's there to teach you something, maybe to accept yourself for who you are. It sounds strange but tell your chemicals you love them unconditionally.
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Hmmm. I think I see what you mean. I just went to my first therapy session. Sort of said the same thing. You're right about a good woman too. Thank you for caring, really. It means a lot.
Comment from KG Writes
GregoryCody Oh, I really enjoyed this piece. Your author's note gave it a wonderful conclusion. Deep, thoughtful, well written & well composed. KG Writes
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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GregoryCody Oh, I really enjoyed this piece. Your author's note gave it a wonderful conclusion. Deep, thoughtful, well written & well composed. KG Writes
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much KG. I really appreciate it!
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GregoryCody Your welcome. Have a great evening. KG Writes
Comment from Selina Stambi
looked up into a creamy soup of deep purple...love this one!
We spoke minutes on years, tip toes to fathoms, nothing into all... and this one too!
I met the night tonight, at the loneliest time in my life
''' fabulous!
Gregory, my friend, so many of your lines are worthy of the sensitivity of a woman's pen. Heart-wrenching, but such a hopeful, triumphant climax.
Good, good ... GOOD! :)
Sonali
Spags:
continues to whine into my life(,) unaware of me
green(-) needled carpet
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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looked up into a creamy soup of deep purple...love this one!
We spoke minutes on years, tip toes to fathoms, nothing into all... and this one too!
I met the night tonight, at the loneliest time in my life
''' fabulous!
Gregory, my friend, so many of your lines are worthy of the sensitivity of a woman's pen. Heart-wrenching, but such a hopeful, triumphant climax.
Good, good ... GOOD! :)
Sonali
Spags:
continues to whine into my life(,) unaware of me
green(-) needled carpet
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much! I'm really grateful. You picked out some lines that I wanted to stand out! So happy about that. Truly thank you for reading this so deeply. You really got it. Thank you. I'm on the snags now!
Comment from Gungalo
Those few words struck cold, twisted knots of agony, stretched ~
I had unravelled from my father's heart ~ was sewn into a memory
But soon a soft balm fell atop my wound, a heat kissed this icy ache
for due to this encounter under a faceless sky, I finally realized ~
my family was together, everywhere, mine within everything inside
I met the night tonight, at the loneliest time in my life
...never more.
Never more Greg for it's not as lonely as you first thought and never will be. SIgh.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Those few words struck cold, twisted knots of agony, stretched ~
I had unravelled from my father's heart ~ was sewn into a memory
But soon a soft balm fell atop my wound, a heat kissed this icy ache
for due to this encounter under a faceless sky, I finally realized ~
my family was together, everywhere, mine within everything inside
I met the night tonight, at the loneliest time in my life
...never more.
Never more Greg for it's not as lonely as you first thought and never will be. SIgh.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you for reading this! Yes, never more. It seems lonely sometimes though. I just have to remember its my brain messing with me. Thank you again, really.
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Yep you do.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You are so right, no one is really alone, yet some of us do feel it at times. I loved your vivid descriptions in this free verse, Gregory. I enjoyed it a lot. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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You are so right, no one is really alone, yet some of us do feel it at times. I loved your vivid descriptions in this free verse, Gregory. I enjoyed it a lot. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you Sandra. I'm so glad you liked it and got the message! Thank you.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I don't like free verse but I like this. At least it is written across the page instead of scrolling down. LOL
This is very deep Greg, very sad but you at least realize we are never truly alone unless we choose to be.....
I met the night tonight, at the loneliest time in my life
I had a night like that. Very well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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I don't like free verse but I like this. At least it is written across the page instead of scrolling down. LOL
This is very deep Greg, very sad but you at least realize we are never truly alone unless we choose to be.....
I met the night tonight, at the loneliest time in my life
I had a night like that. Very well done. Nancy
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you Nancy! Yes sad but brighter at the end. I've been going through a rough time and the nights can be tough. This one had a lot of "me" in it so I'm so glad you liked it. Especially since it was the exception to your dislike of free verse! ;)
Thank you so much really.
Comment from ravenblack
The key to this excellent poem- at least for me- is the first line, " never was I lower than when I met the night tonight on high". Your descriptions/observations of life below- hiss of tires like waves ( I share a kinship with that image- have used it often myself); the rustle of the rosemary bushes; dog howls " like the pull of a bow across crusted violin strings"-all images of solitude that are strangely comforting and you observe them like a God, go inside to insight, reject the solitude and resolve to connect. You pretty much transported me to that balcony. And yes, it does help to write it out.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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The key to this excellent poem- at least for me- is the first line, " never was I lower than when I met the night tonight on high". Your descriptions/observations of life below- hiss of tires like waves ( I share a kinship with that image- have used it often myself); the rustle of the rosemary bushes; dog howls " like the pull of a bow across crusted violin strings"-all images of solitude that are strangely comforting and you observe them like a God, go inside to insight, reject the solitude and resolve to connect. You pretty much transported me to that balcony. And yes, it does help to write it out.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Hey, that is just about the nicest review. Truly. Few have gotten what you pulled out. Those parts were what I wanted to stand out. Thank you! It means so much to have had someone actually read what I put so much into. Each word. I drive my wife crazy trying to get her to appreciate such things ;) wow, thank you. Makes me feel like a real writer. I'm truly grateful and humbled. I'm so immensely honored to have received a six from you. Your opinion matters greatly to me man. Thank you. I hope you are doing great by the way. I've had you in my thoughts. Have a good night.
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I've had you in my thoughts too. And Don't ever doubt that you are a real writer. You are as real as they get.
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I've had you in my thoughts too. And Don't ever doubt that you are a real writer. You are as real as they get.
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That's really great of you to say. Thank you. Truly man.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, gregory, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the aloneness that turned into an abundance of friendships garnered when things were the darkest but now light is found. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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this is very well written, gregory, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the aloneness that turned into an abundance of friendships garnered when things were the darkest but now light is found. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. This had a lot of me in it. I like hearing from you and getting your take.
Comment from 9999pool
Loneliness usually is our own making and imagination.
How can we be lonely when there are a million and one things we can do to pass the time fully occupied instead of wrapping ourselves in self-pity as if everything in life had been so unfair.
We fail to see the good side of life and of those who were with us in our lonely moments.
Even listening to music or watching a movie by ourselves is not loneliness - it is an entertainment and celebration of solitude and to find our lost selves in our own private time.
In moments of misery and depression, we can go out of our minds to find God. He will talk to us in our minds and we are never lonely. Though he does not speak to us directly, in His own way He will give us signs, messages and even a note from someone we hardly know.
In my write "Alone, not loneliness" - this feeling of solitude had been explored and explained to many readers, smiles.
Life is nothing new - it is always wrought with happiness, then sadness before loneliness and solitude confront us. When is so busily attacking us from all angles - good or bad, do we have time to be alone and feel loneliness.
If we were to pen down all the simple things we wanted to do but have not done, there will not be time enough to even sit still for 5 minutes. Smiles.
Cheerio, great write, Ritchie. :))
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Loneliness usually is our own making and imagination.
How can we be lonely when there are a million and one things we can do to pass the time fully occupied instead of wrapping ourselves in self-pity as if everything in life had been so unfair.
We fail to see the good side of life and of those who were with us in our lonely moments.
Even listening to music or watching a movie by ourselves is not loneliness - it is an entertainment and celebration of solitude and to find our lost selves in our own private time.
In moments of misery and depression, we can go out of our minds to find God. He will talk to us in our minds and we are never lonely. Though he does not speak to us directly, in His own way He will give us signs, messages and even a note from someone we hardly know.
In my write "Alone, not loneliness" - this feeling of solitude had been explored and explained to many readers, smiles.
Life is nothing new - it is always wrought with happiness, then sadness before loneliness and solitude confront us. When is so busily attacking us from all angles - good or bad, do we have time to be alone and feel loneliness.
If we were to pen down all the simple things we wanted to do but have not done, there will not be time enough to even sit still for 5 minutes. Smiles.
Cheerio, great write, Ritchie. :))
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Wow this review stick with me. You're right about God speaking to us in certain ways. I had a friend write me whom I really hadn't known that well or spoken to in years. He had come along at an important and much needed time. It turns out he helped me so much. And we spoke on God as well. I don't think I'm lonely. I know that I have family and friends right here. I started writing that list you told me to write btw. It actually made me feel a bit happier. :)
I'm going to read the poem you referenced tonight. Thank you for caring and for such a helpful review. Its always good to hear from you, always.
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Hi Gregory,
That list actually will do one thing for us - the world and life itself is so large - it will be impossible to understand even a small fraction of it. The atheist will ask - have you seen God? The religious ones will say they felt God and then other naysayers will say we are being hoodwink by the priests. The truths are NOT important because there are truly no ABSOLUTE TRUTH that we can really proved - it's a mind game at best. What we do not know or understand - does not mean they do not exist. What we see for those things in front of us - may not be all of what they seem.
When you included table/desk in your counting list, did you include words like 'dust', 'bacteria', 'germs', floor cleaner, stains, damages edges, etc. See, the list continue to grow and there's no end to it like there's no end to life's answers. Smiles.
Glad to know others are writing about God to you. They are the good souls including you and your wife, smiles.
Cheerio, Ritchie, and my pleasure to be your friend too.
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You're the best man. Been thinking about you. Hope you're doing good.
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Thanks Gregory.
You are too.
Since I know you may have some time to have some fun here in FS, we are forming the Happy Corner group here with some fun activities lines up. This is my personal invitation to you to join this group which is actually a self help group to improve our writings and get entertainment out of it. We can run writing competition among this elite happy Corner group for our own improvement, smiles.
Let me know if you are agreeable to join this grouping. Will let you know who the others are when i get their replies.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
P.S. Some activities involve getting poets to co-write poems e.g. 'Triplet Poem' - co-written by 3 poets and 'Duet Poem' co-write by 2 poets, etc.
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I would LOVE to! Such an honor. Thank you for including me! Sorry for the late reply. I have been away for a tiny bit. Thank you!
Comment from Treischel
Your definitely have a powerful way with words that give expression to emotions in unique and expressive ways. I marvel a descriptions like: soft hiss of humming tires, snapping crunch sneaks between the rosemary bushes, they resemble fat lavender bubbles, the pull of a bow across crusted violin strings, and more. Getting lost in the dark. This is an awesome verse.
I crept onto damp blades of sleeping grass ~ soft needled carpet,
looked up into a creamy soup of deep purple...perfectly endless,
left as a pebble, before a coliseum forever growing, never finished
I listened, held my heartbeat level, letting my head fall back to a tilt
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Your definitely have a powerful way with words that give expression to emotions in unique and expressive ways. I marvel a descriptions like: soft hiss of humming tires, snapping crunch sneaks between the rosemary bushes, they resemble fat lavender bubbles, the pull of a bow across crusted violin strings, and more. Getting lost in the dark. This is an awesome verse.
I crept onto damp blades of sleeping grass ~ soft needled carpet,
looked up into a creamy soup of deep purple...perfectly endless,
left as a pebble, before a coliseum forever growing, never finished
I listened, held my heartbeat level, letting my head fall back to a tilt
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Wow thank you so very much. Your opinion is important to me as I have said, truly. So this means a lot. You picked out the parts that I wanted to stand out! Thank you. Few have gotten it. Truly a poet you are. It means a great deal that you appreciated that. My wife is forced to deal with me while I explain the importance or significance of such things. I drive her crazy. ;)
Thank you so much again. Thank you.