Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Taku Moon"Murder Mystery
50 total reviews
Comment from Isabella Thorne
This is a well written continuation of a previous murder story. I enjoy your writing as it flows well and the scene is not bogged down on too many details but just enough to keep you guessing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
  |
This is a well written continuation of a previous murder story. I enjoy your writing as it flows well and the scene is not bogged down on too many details but just enough to keep you guessing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Thank you so much for your generous review, Isabella.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
Great opening description of the fly on Oleson's desk. It made me wonder if the fly was supposed to symbolize something bigger, but then that's just me afraid that I might overlook something deeper than how I read it. (I hope that makes sense.) What a creepy thought of removing someone's eyeballs post mortem--you do have such a knack, Bev, for making things creepy in your writing, and, of course, you know I mean that in a good way. How interesting near the end of the chapter, to find out that Father Brian is an exorcist and nobody knew. As always, Bev your dialogue flows so smoothly and has made this another chapter difficult to stop reading. I found no spags, but then I don't think I've been looking as closely as I probably should since I'm pretty engrossed in the story. You should be proud of this, my friend.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
 |
Great opening description of the fly on Oleson's desk. It made me wonder if the fly was supposed to symbolize something bigger, but then that's just me afraid that I might overlook something deeper than how I read it. (I hope that makes sense.) What a creepy thought of removing someone's eyeballs post mortem--you do have such a knack, Bev, for making things creepy in your writing, and, of course, you know I mean that in a good way. How interesting near the end of the chapter, to find out that Father Brian is an exorcist and nobody knew. As always, Bev your dialogue flows so smoothly and has made this another chapter difficult to stop reading. I found no spags, but then I don't think I've been looking as closely as I probably should since I'm pretty engrossed in the story. You should be proud of this, my friend.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Hello, my dear friend. The fly is a link to a later chapter, so you are right on with that. And I really appreciate how much time you take to read and review my chapters, Connie. Your six stars has me smiling, but even more your wonderfully warming words of support. That means so much! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Love the beginning, Bev. The little interlude with the fly. What a neat way to set up the chapter! It pulled me right in.
"Her stomach contents revealed she had a foreign body present. It's composition? Cat hair, rodent bones and fibers resembling string." - Oh, my lord. I got a chill when I read this. Way to go with the tension, my friend! And how did it get there? This is so GOOD!
The air in the room was charged with energy - it is in my kitchen at the moment as well, as I read this!!!
"Sheriff Oleson(,) this is Father Frederick Northrup.
"I'm quite familiar with Father Brian. I'm surprised you're reaching out to the Archdiocese when you have an exorcist right in your own back yard." - Excellent!
"Don't thank me yet, Sheriff. If you're involved with a true demon, then I suggest you get on your knees and start to pray. Your world view is about to be shattered." Whoa, Bev, this is superb.
I've never written anything quite like this - the darker side of the 'other side'. I am totally fascinated by it, and do keep an open mind. I believe in entities, and if there's good, there has to be bad, since everything has an opposite.
Really happy I have a six for you!
Love Av
btw - Just thought I'd let you know that I chatted to Tina on the phone for quite a while last night! She's doing great - still revising her book, but she's completed another in the meantime.
:D
xoxox
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
Love the beginning, Bev. The little interlude with the fly. What a neat way to set up the chapter! It pulled me right in.
"Her stomach contents revealed she had a foreign body present. It's composition? Cat hair, rodent bones and fibers resembling string." - Oh, my lord. I got a chill when I read this. Way to go with the tension, my friend! And how did it get there? This is so GOOD!
The air in the room was charged with energy - it is in my kitchen at the moment as well, as I read this!!!
"Sheriff Oleson(,) this is Father Frederick Northrup.
"I'm quite familiar with Father Brian. I'm surprised you're reaching out to the Archdiocese when you have an exorcist right in your own back yard." - Excellent!
"Don't thank me yet, Sheriff. If you're involved with a true demon, then I suggest you get on your knees and start to pray. Your world view is about to be shattered." Whoa, Bev, this is superb.
I've never written anything quite like this - the darker side of the 'other side'. I am totally fascinated by it, and do keep an open mind. I believe in entities, and if there's good, there has to be bad, since everything has an opposite.
Really happy I have a six for you!
Love Av
btw - Just thought I'd let you know that I chatted to Tina on the phone for quite a while last night! She's doing great - still revising her book, but she's completed another in the meantime.
:D
xoxox
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Aw, Av, thank you so much for this wonderfully encouraging review. I wasn't sure about that beginning, so it's comforting to know it worked for you. Also, I appreciate you catching that spaggie for me. I think Margaret pointed it out and I forgot to change it LOL. I've been thinking of Tina lately. Gosh I miss her writing on the site. But how exciting that she's closer to getting her work out and published. Such a tremendously talented writer.
I so appreciate your generosity, my friend. Thanks for caring.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from RGstar
It was difficult to come into this one seeing as many other chapters had gone by.
There were many characters, to contend with, including figure of speech.
However, what was evident is a particular ease in which your writing flows, synonymous of an excellent writer.
your characters , though many, are easily recognized, and I did not need to read over again for the digestion of their characters.
Grammar and the building of sentences were great so not much for me to ad-lib on.
An exclusive piece for those who follow it.
Well done, and good luck,
Written as a book should be.
RGstar
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
It was difficult to come into this one seeing as many other chapters had gone by.
There were many characters, to contend with, including figure of speech.
However, what was evident is a particular ease in which your writing flows, synonymous of an excellent writer.
your characters , though many, are easily recognized, and I did not need to read over again for the digestion of their characters.
Grammar and the building of sentences were great so not much for me to ad-lib on.
An exclusive piece for those who follow it.
Well done, and good luck,
Written as a book should be.
RGstar
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Thank you much, RG. I'm delighted by your words of encouragement. With each chapter, I strive to get better. Your review makes me think I may be onto something. Appreciate it!
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Showboat
Oh Bev, this was an excellent chapter. I gotta give it the sixer. Man, I didn't see anything off, but I was reading so fast, was so engrossed, I read over the male rape thingy and was two sentences on when I came to a screeching halt! WHAT? Back I went, and sure enough. Whew!
Oh my, I've definitely missed a chapter, so I have to go back, but this one, top shelf, my friend! Carry on,
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
Oh Bev, this was an excellent chapter. I gotta give it the sixer. Man, I didn't see anything off, but I was reading so fast, was so engrossed, I read over the male rape thingy and was two sentences on when I came to a screeching halt! WHAT? Back I went, and sure enough. Whew!
Oh my, I've definitely missed a chapter, so I have to go back, but this one, top shelf, my friend! Carry on,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Gayle, thank you so much for this wonderfully generous and encouraging review. I really appreciate the support, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is so professional, Bev - so much detail and subjects new to me - gruesome and yet most intriguing, all at the same time.
The six will tell you how much I enjoy your work, my friend.
by claiming it's Matthew Buell's P.I.?(")
"Thank you(,) Father Northrup
Margaret
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
This is so professional, Bev - so much detail and subjects new to me - gruesome and yet most intriguing, all at the same time.
The six will tell you how much I enjoy your work, my friend.
by claiming it's Matthew Buell's P.I.?(")
"Thank you(,) Father Northrup
Margaret
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Margaret, what an honor to have earned a six from one of my 'mentors' on this site. I'm truly grateful for your encouragement and support.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This story is starting to get very dark and sinister. I like the way that the author keeps dragging the reader further and further into this story.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
This story is starting to get very dark and sinister. I like the way that the author keeps dragging the reader further and further into this story.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Tomes, thank you so very much for this generous and gracious review. Warm regards, Bev
-
My pleasure.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
An excellent chapter, Bev. You do a great job of setting up the creepiness of this chapter with the opening "fly scene." You are very skillful at drawing the reader into the story. I don't envy the Sheriff's position. Things are really heating up and I feel angst on his behalf. Very, very well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
An excellent chapter, Bev. You do a great job of setting up the creepiness of this chapter with the opening "fly scene." You are very skillful at drawing the reader into the story. I don't envy the Sheriff's position. Things are really heating up and I feel angst on his behalf. Very, very well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Marietta, thank you so much for this very generous and gracious review. You are most kind, and I really appreciate it! Hugs, Bev
Comment from JW
Hairballs being transported into a corpse's stomach and later disappearing --- That's different.
Your chapter is well written and it does a good job of progressing the storyline while leaving the reader wanting to continue to read more.
Good job. JW
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
Hairballs being transported into a corpse's stomach and later disappearing --- That's different.
Your chapter is well written and it does a good job of progressing the storyline while leaving the reader wanting to continue to read more.
Good job. JW
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Thanks so much, Jonathon! :0) Bev
Comment from misscookie
You had my attention for awhile until I came to the part about cat hair and such.
It made my stomach turn. Thurgh it all I thought it was a good write.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
You had my attention for awhile until I came to the part about cat hair and such.
It made my stomach turn. Thurgh it all I thought it was a good write.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
Misscookie, thank you so much for your encouragement. I really apprciate your generosity. Blessings, Bev
-
Your very welcome.
Have a safe and nice Labor day.
Until next time.