Reviews from

Short

Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Do You See the Stars?"
Shorter stories

32 total reviews 
Comment from chasennov
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

'Do You See The Stars.' This is a heart-wrenching story and I enjoyed reading it so much. Thank you for telling it. I thought your formulation was also perfect.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
    Thank you for the enthusiastic and generous review.
reply by chasennov on 23-Jun-2013
    You're very welcome.
Comment from Samuel Dickens
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A lovely, touching story, very well told. Though quite sad, there is beauty and hope also. One tiny suggestion is to give some clue of the timeframe early on. I didn't know it was well into the past until the buggy was mentioned.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2013
    Thank for your kind and constructive review. Bill
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh my, you make me cry a river, what an undying love of a father to his wife and his son, told in graphic words and dialogues that tugs at the heart. It makes us sad, but at the same time warms the heart, how I wish I could have a father like Ned. The end of the story is heart-rending, asking if his son Benny can see the stars. I really want to cry.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2013
    Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I tear up when I reread it too.
Comment from jmdg1954
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Damn it man, you brought tears to my eyes. This was the best piece I read today. Filled wirh emotion from all charectors. I was hooked from beginning to end.
Very well done my friend... John

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
    Thank you so very much John for the great review and rating. I get misty every time I reread it too. Bill
Comment from Charlene0513
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You cast a very disheartening story about the life and times of a blind child and how he became an over achiever; but only to witness the appalling condition and the empathy he showed when he seen his father's failing health.
Deeply moving!
Charlene

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
    Thank you Charlene for reviewing this and for commenting. Bill
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Bill Schott

I don't know how you could only write such an sad patho story in only 643 words
You held my interest right from the beginning to the closure
Sad but, so beautiful
Wish you the very best in this contest

Gert

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
    Thank you Gert for reviewing this and for your encouragement. Bill
reply by Gert sherwood on 20-Jun-2013
    You are very welocme Bill

    Gert
Comment from tedanytime
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story is one that evokes emotional sympathy from beginning to end.
The father tends the motherless child as long as possible, then turns to others for more care.
As a man the son achieves some success, the father seldom sees him.
At the end, son searches for father and finds him at the place they had frequently been.. shares a sad moment to "see" the stars...

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2013
    Thank you for reviewing this. Bill
Comment from Rosalyne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Bill,
Your story is beautiful, so well-written and touched on all emotions. I instantly connected with the characters, who you brought so eloquently to life. Bravo!
I am looking forward to reading more.
Thanks for sharing.
Bye
Rosalyne


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2013
    Thank you Rosalyne for your kind and encouraging review. Bill
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have made me cry with the poignant ending to this story of paternal love and devotion. What a wonderful dad this man was. That closing scene is a real tearjerker :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
    Thank you from taking the time to review this one. It gets me misty every time I reread it. Bill
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Such a sad beginning and even sadder ending to the story of the boy Benny who could not see. It is sad to come home and find your father has no real home any more and is dying out in the field and will be with his wife in heaven soon. all Benny could tell his father was a small lie to comfort him in his time as he lay dying.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
    Thank you for taking the time to review this.
reply by country ranch writer on 09-Jun-2013
    welcome