My Story (Edited)
I can still taste the metal of the .357 in my mouth...54 total reviews
Comment from Rosalyne
This is such a powerful piece of writing, and written so eloquently. I could feel your pain, your wish to give up, and your courageous climb back up. I am so happy that you've found happiness in your life, a beautiful wife and daughter. It took a great deal of bravery to share this story, one that will help many in a similar situation.
Thank you for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2013
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This is such a powerful piece of writing, and written so eloquently. I could feel your pain, your wish to give up, and your courageous climb back up. I am so happy that you've found happiness in your life, a beautiful wife and daughter. It took a great deal of bravery to share this story, one that will help many in a similar situation.
Thank you for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2013
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Thanks a lot, Rosalyn. I appreciate the time and effort you invested in reading and reviewing this piece. I do, sincerely, pray that it can in some way help other's one day. I really do.
Thanks, again...
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Dean, I must be honest with you, I almost passed this up. I backed up a little as something said to me, "Jim, read this." I settled back and read a true to life, honest gut wrenching life saving story. Suicide is one thing that I have never thought about doing. God, does have His ways of coming to us when we need Him there. It will be 3 years this coming December that I was very close to death. My kidneys were shutting down and my liver was under siege from a hybrid staph infection. All of this was from a catheter change 7 days earlier. This was a residual effect from my prostate cancer. For 4 days I was given intense antibiotics to fight this infection, then moved to a nursing home for the next 36 days. My first night, lying in the hospital bed, alone, I said, "Lord, I am ready." Then, before me was a vision of mom, who had passed in 2004. She said to me, "jimmy, you must fight and fight hard. He is not ready for you just yet. You have a purpose here," then she was gone. I am still here just like you my friend. Your life has turned into a great story of love, hope and perseverance. I am so happy things have turned out the way they have for you and also, I am able to read what author. May I ask, what happened to the boys from your 1st marriage. You do not have to answer if you choose not to. Thank you Dean for sharing your life story with us. Be proud~~~,,,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2013
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Dean, I must be honest with you, I almost passed this up. I backed up a little as something said to me, "Jim, read this." I settled back and read a true to life, honest gut wrenching life saving story. Suicide is one thing that I have never thought about doing. God, does have His ways of coming to us when we need Him there. It will be 3 years this coming December that I was very close to death. My kidneys were shutting down and my liver was under siege from a hybrid staph infection. All of this was from a catheter change 7 days earlier. This was a residual effect from my prostate cancer. For 4 days I was given intense antibiotics to fight this infection, then moved to a nursing home for the next 36 days. My first night, lying in the hospital bed, alone, I said, "Lord, I am ready." Then, before me was a vision of mom, who had passed in 2004. She said to me, "jimmy, you must fight and fight hard. He is not ready for you just yet. You have a purpose here," then she was gone. I am still here just like you my friend. Your life has turned into a great story of love, hope and perseverance. I am so happy things have turned out the way they have for you and also, I am able to read what author. May I ask, what happened to the boys from your 1st marriage. You do not have to answer if you choose not to. Thank you Dean for sharing your life story with us. Be proud~~~,,,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much, Jim. I really appreciate that!
My oldest, Tony, he went to the University of Dayton, and he is now a family law attorney. My son Trenton was in the US Marine Corps, and now works as a produce manager at Kroger's. They are wonderful boys. Very sensitive, very loving.
Comment from amahra
"Son...are you awake," he inquired?
I am so glad I saved this six. Not for the story but because it is so well written. I am so glad you didn't pull the trigger. And thank you for posting. You should publish this. There are so many Christian writers who have something to say but were not called to be writers and their stories are so badly written that they go unread. God would never call us to do something and not give us the skills in which to do it. You are a skillful writer, my friend. God bless you. Just a few things below:
["Son...are you awake?" he inquired.]
Killing myself. [don't need to write, "killing myself." readers get it. You already said, "getting back to the task.."]
"...get busy living, or get busy dying." [my favorite line from Shawshank Redemption]
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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"Son...are you awake," he inquired?
I am so glad I saved this six. Not for the story but because it is so well written. I am so glad you didn't pull the trigger. And thank you for posting. You should publish this. There are so many Christian writers who have something to say but were not called to be writers and their stories are so badly written that they go unread. God would never call us to do something and not give us the skills in which to do it. You are a skillful writer, my friend. God bless you. Just a few things below:
["Son...are you awake?" he inquired.]
Killing myself. [don't need to write, "killing myself." readers get it. You already said, "getting back to the task.."]
"...get busy living, or get busy dying." [my favorite line from Shawshank Redemption]
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you very much, amahra, for this wonderful rating and review. I, too, am glad I did not go though with it, either. I would have missed out on so many, beautiful, wonderful things. Things like meeting kind people such as yourself, for instance.
I'll get those errors fixed, straight away. Thank you so much for pointing them out to me. I can read my own story one hundred times, and miss the simplest of things. It always helps to have another un-objective pair of eyes looking over it, too.
Thanks so much again!
Comment from Keresnac
Are you published? If your'e not then you should be..... I love the visual effects you put with your stories. This makes it more realistic and entertaining at the same time. All of your stories are terrfic and keeps my interest till the end.... kudos
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Are you published? If your'e not then you should be..... I love the visual effects you put with your stories. This makes it more realistic and entertaining at the same time. All of your stories are terrfic and keeps my interest till the end.... kudos
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Nope, not really. Just one little story in one little magazine. But, I ain't dead yet, so I guess it's never too late to keep trying.
Thanks Keresnac! ;)
Comment from scraps30
What a heartfelt account of your experience; I was moved by it. The writing itself is excellent, with wonderful use of imagery and detail. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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What a heartfelt account of your experience; I was moved by it. The writing itself is excellent, with wonderful use of imagery and detail. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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I thank you, scraps 30, for investing your time in reading and reviewing it. I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from barkingdog
This is a down to earth piece of writing. It speaks to the possibility of suicide which many consider at a low point in their life.
You were lucky to have fate, the weather, your father, God, whatever interfere with your decision.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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This is a down to earth piece of writing. It speaks to the possibility of suicide which many consider at a low point in their life.
You were lucky to have fate, the weather, your father, God, whatever interfere with your decision.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you, barkingdog. I believe I was very, very lucky!
I appreciate you taking the time to check this one it, and give me your opinions. That means a lot!
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You're welcome, Dean.
Comment from ras1973
This story pulled me in right from the beginning and held me captivated all the way to the end. I felt like I was right there in the storm with him, and feeling his sadness and desperation. I would recommend this story to others. Nicely written and a great message.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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This story pulled me in right from the beginning and held me captivated all the way to the end. I felt like I was right there in the storm with him, and feeling his sadness and desperation. I would recommend this story to others. Nicely written and a great message.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you very much, ras1937. That means more to me than you could ever know...
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You are welcome. I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment from jjstar
Well, you have left me almost speechless, which is a first for me. Usually I can babble on for ages about the magnificent language, the vivid verbiage, etc. All that I can say is thank you for sharing this journey with us. I am sure that your story has resonated with many and quite possibly saved some lives. I feel more than a little weird saying, "I'm proud of you, Dean." Just a magnificent and uplifting story!
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can not say===cannot?
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Well, you have left me almost speechless, which is a first for me. Usually I can babble on for ages about the magnificent language, the vivid verbiage, etc. All that I can say is thank you for sharing this journey with us. I am sure that your story has resonated with many and quite possibly saved some lives. I feel more than a little weird saying, "I'm proud of you, Dean." Just a magnificent and uplifting story!
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can not say===cannot?
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you very much, jjstar. I'll gladly accept, "I'm proud of you, Dean." from you, and be honored to do so. I hope this helps someone who is struggling with similar feeling that I faced that day. I believe that's why God prompted me to write it. It was both the worst, and one of the best days of my life. I will never forget it.
Thank you very much for your wonderful review and comments.
Comment from writing2inspire
Thank you for sharing this outstanding record of what happened in your life. Your writing style is great, although I would change the larger and bolder font you used for God's voice to a simply all caps.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you for sharing this outstanding record of what happened in your life. Your writing style is great, although I would change the larger and bolder font you used for God's voice to a simply all caps.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you, writing2inspire, for your fantastic review and very generous rating. I will also take your suggestions to heart.
I used the bold "IMPACT" font because I wanted to convey the sheer, raw power I felt as He spoke those words to me. I remember as a child, I had a Children's Illustrated Bible. In the story of Moses on the mountain, when God revealed the law to him and wrote it with His fiery finger upon the tablets, a similar font was used. It really had a profound effect on me, I suppose. That was the reason I chose that particular font.
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Yeah, that's why I probably was taken aback by the larger, bold font--it reminded me of how you'd write for children.
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I think that is precisely the message I was trying to get across, but didn't realize until you helped me make that connection, just now. he was speaking to me like the spoiled, mean-spirited, evil little 'child...His child!, that I was. he was inspiring me, and scolding me at the same time! Thanks, writing2inspire, for helping me make that connection...
Comment from GregoryCody
Dean this s a MAGNIFICENT piece. I am so grateful that you shared it. Aside from the amazing writing, the great dialogue, descriptions, you have a remarkable story here. Truly well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Dean this s a MAGNIFICENT piece. I am so grateful that you shared it. Aside from the amazing writing, the great dialogue, descriptions, you have a remarkable story here. Truly well done.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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As do you, my friend. As do you...
Thank you, Gregory.