Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Fairy Playground"A collection of my children's poems
57 total reviews
Comment from WilliamDeen
Precious fairy poem! It flowed so smoothly from line to line and the rhyme was excellent. Your poem is vivid and descriptive too. I love this stanza:
In the forest, 'neath the trees
Where fairies ride on bumble-bees,
Sparkling gems and gleaming gold
Lie hidden in a toadstool's fold.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
  |
Precious fairy poem! It flowed so smoothly from line to line and the rhyme was excellent. Your poem is vivid and descriptive too. I love this stanza:
In the forest, 'neath the trees
Where fairies ride on bumble-bees,
Sparkling gems and gleaming gold
Lie hidden in a toadstool's fold.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
-
Thanks.
This is not really my cup of tea, but it just popped into my head complete with the first few lines so I just had to try my hand at pretty. Just checked the competition - my only hope is that voters will go for sweet and easy over intensity and depth!
Steve
Comment from moyramouse
I had to check twice that this was you!!!!
Where was the satire, where the wit? You have been at the bottle of purple poople berry juice ,Steve:):):) A fairy poem with fantasy sufficient to fill any little girl's dreams, beautifully rhymed and metered and a lovely lilting cadence.
Yes you can do soft and fluffy (very well!) but please bring back the biting style we love xxxxmouse
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
|
I had to check twice that this was you!!!!
Where was the satire, where the wit? You have been at the bottle of purple poople berry juice ,Steve:):):) A fairy poem with fantasy sufficient to fill any little girl's dreams, beautifully rhymed and metered and a lovely lilting cadence.
Yes you can do soft and fluffy (very well!) but please bring back the biting style we love xxxxmouse
Comment Written 11-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
-
I may have to stick to soft and fluffy - it has earned more sixers than any biting satire!
Seriously, I don't know what got into me.... and then this little cutie in a pink sequinned gown came crawling out!
Steve
-
Just showing your softer side, Steve:):)
I've been involved in the Ledbury Poetry Festival for the last 10 days so have not been on the site. Found time to go to several workshops with real-life poets( not self published either!) Very scary, very productive. I am so sorry to hear the news of your mum. I hope that the treatment is working. Our son had cancer 7 years ago, went through chemo and radiotherapy, but thankfully seems well. He has yearly checks.
It is very hard when we are far away from family who are ill. For years I was the filling in the sandwich, torn between my parents and my children. Now I guess I've become the crust!! xx
-
I guess we are at the age where these things happen. We are here in Cairns because my wife's Mum and step-Dad are here, neither of them in the best of health and with no other family this side of the Tasman. My Mum, on the other hand, has plenty of family and friends around. Prognosis is not good - secondaries on the liver, not sure where primary is, not offering any treatment... She is 86 but this has sprung up quite quickly so it's a bit of a shock - no family history of cancer, either side so I was feeling a bit smug till now.
Steve
-
I'm so sorry the prognosis is not good. I've lost both parents so now I'm top of the list - not a good feeling:):)
Comment from freestoryideas
Great effort as you have let the mind dictate the words rather than other way around. Poetry needs to flow freely, not to researched and manipulated. Good imagery and word play. Well done.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
|
Great effort as you have let the mind dictate the words rather than other way around. Poetry needs to flow freely, not to researched and manipulated. Good imagery and word play. Well done.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind words.
Steve
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
So sweet! Classic fairytale poetry, do beautifully done! I can imagine this published with a gorgeous full page illustration. The words simply cascade as I read it aloud...always a good test of quality writing :}
Bluebell blooms and foxglove flower
* a wee full stop is missing from this line.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
 |
So sweet! Classic fairytale poetry, do beautifully done! I can imagine this published with a gorgeous full page illustration. The words simply cascade as I read it aloud...always a good test of quality writing :}
Bluebell blooms and foxglove flower
* a wee full stop is missing from this line.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
-
Thanks, Inge - something a little new for me which has surprised a few of my regulars I think.
yes it's crying out to be published with full colour pictures - one day, perhaps.
Full stop fixed, thanks.
Steve
Comment from barkingdog
With strings of alliteration:
-Where dancing droplets sweetly shower
Bluebell blooms and foxglove flower
-On blushing buds of rambling rose,
Sprites cavort with twinkling toes, As lissome ladies, agile men caper through he darkling glen.(also consonance as the 'l' carries over from the alliteration)
-rambling/twinkling/darkling
Midsummer Night's Dream is one of my all time favorites.
You have brought it new form. Lovely form. Thank you.
Internal rhyme:
-cheeky/peek/seek
You had me with:
-Where fairies ride on bumble-bees
and
-On blushing buds of rambling rose,
Sprites cavort with twinkling toes,
As lissome ladies, agile men,
Caper through the darkling glen.
Virtual six. ****** :)
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
|
With strings of alliteration:
-Where dancing droplets sweetly shower
Bluebell blooms and foxglove flower
-On blushing buds of rambling rose,
Sprites cavort with twinkling toes, As lissome ladies, agile men caper through he darkling glen.(also consonance as the 'l' carries over from the alliteration)
-rambling/twinkling/darkling
Midsummer Night's Dream is one of my all time favorites.
You have brought it new form. Lovely form. Thank you.
Internal rhyme:
-cheeky/peek/seek
You had me with:
-Where fairies ride on bumble-bees
and
-On blushing buds of rambling rose,
Sprites cavort with twinkling toes,
As lissome ladies, agile men,
Caper through the darkling glen.
Virtual six. ****** :)
Comment Written 11-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
-
Thank you - I'll take the virtual six - somewhat to my surprise, this has earned more sixers than any other piece I've written - there's obviously a lot to be said for 'Pretty'!
Strangely, I wasn't thinking about Midsummer Night's Dream specifically - and I do know the play quite well - I wrote a computer program about it once, long ago, in another life!
Thanks for the thoughtful read,,,
Steve
-
You're welcome, Steve. Guilty Secret took the last six. LOL
Comment from fairy77
That was the best nature poem I've ever read.Way to go.I love descriptive and you explained every nook and cranny.Excellent vocabulary and your rhyming wow OK 6 stars!The only thing a little long but still worth six!!!Beth
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
|
That was the best nature poem I've ever read.Way to go.I love descriptive and you explained every nook and cranny.Excellent vocabulary and your rhyming wow OK 6 stars!The only thing a little long but still worth six!!!Beth
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the enthusiastic review and the Sixer. Glad you enjoyed my piece of sweetness.
Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, kiwisteveh, it is a cute write that is lyrical and rolls off the tongue with sweet sounds, i enjoyed reading it, great picture you used as well...
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
|
this is very well written, kiwisteveh, it is a cute write that is lyrical and rolls off the tongue with sweet sounds, i enjoyed reading it, great picture you used as well...
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
-
Thanks for your kind review.
Steve
Comment from /*Twinkle
A magical visit into the realm of the fae. The imagery used made in interesting to read and provided an enchanting narration for the alluring artwork....
Midnight calls, the witching hour,
A change comes on the fairy bower;
With silvery shards the forest gleams,
And spirits all, drift off to dreams.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
A magical visit into the realm of the fae. The imagery used made in interesting to read and provided an enchanting narration for the alluring artwork....
Midnight calls, the witching hour,
A change comes on the fairy bower;
With silvery shards the forest gleams,
And spirits all, drift off to dreams.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thanks for your kind words - I struggled most with the ending actually, until I came up with the idea of sending them all off to bed!
Steve
Comment from denhagan
This is a delightful poem about a fairy playground, written in the quatrain style with excellent rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem. I enjoyed reading this poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
This is a delightful poem about a fairy playground, written in the quatrain style with excellent rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem. I enjoyed reading this poem.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your positive review.
Steve
-
You're welcome. Dennis
Comment from nancyjam
This is such a delight to read.
Your have created a lovely world
of make believe using amazing rhyme
and imagery. Each stanza flows
with even cadence and your word choice
is exquisite. I think children would enjoy this
one as well.
Loved it! Nancy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
This is such a delight to read.
Your have created a lovely world
of make believe using amazing rhyme
and imagery. Each stanza flows
with even cadence and your word choice
is exquisite. I think children would enjoy this
one as well.
Loved it! Nancy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind words and the six stars! I am glad you enjoyed my pixie piece...
Others have also commented that it would work for children.
Steve