Who Am I?
Learning your life is a lie33 total reviews
Comment from words
An interesting and most intriguing write.
Yes, it does work. As with all of your stories it is well and cleanly told. The dialogue is crisp and realistic and always moves the story forward.
I did not see the ending revelation coming.
It was a little puzzling as to why the young woman would have had her name changed. She loved her parents dearly ...I did not see the motivation for the name change. There did not seem to be any hint that she felt and outsider to her birth family.
In any event, a well told and compelling story.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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An interesting and most intriguing write.
Yes, it does work. As with all of your stories it is well and cleanly told. The dialogue is crisp and realistic and always moves the story forward.
I did not see the ending revelation coming.
It was a little puzzling as to why the young woman would have had her name changed. She loved her parents dearly ...I did not see the motivation for the name change. There did not seem to be any hint that she felt and outsider to her birth family.
In any event, a well told and compelling story.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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I clearly see your point. I debated over this and in the end, decided if it were me and I found out my parents stole me and ruined an innocent woman's life, the only decent thing to do would be to honor the poor woman who spent 24 years in an institution when there was nothing wrong with her other than a broken heart. Also, I think I would re-evaluate my feelings for anyone who would do that to someone. There is no law that states you MUST love your parents if they turn out top be bad people, and what Mary's parents did definitely give one reason to ponder the issue. Bottom line, I understand you point and know there are many people who would still/continue to love the parents that gave them a good life and treated them well. I just didn't like what they did to poor Lilly.
Comment from fictionwriter
Oh, it worked very well. Too many times that really happens, hench the security that is so high in the maternity wards these days. Well done.
she ever said was, 'the bed was empty'".(.")
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Oh, it worked very well. Too many times that really happens, hench the security that is so high in the maternity wards these days. Well done.
she ever said was, 'the bed was empty'".(.")
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thanks for catching the spag. I know of several cases back home were people just walked out of the hospital with a baby...no more. Now an alarm goes off if the baby leaves the nursery without a key card. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from jgirlie152
This is quite an interesting story, yes, different from your usual prose. It's well written and the dialogue is great.
The only line which troubles me is the last "Finally free, finally happy, and finally smiling again." which denotes that Mary did not have a happy life, although this is not indicated in the former paragraphs. Just a thought. The writing is great.
Joan
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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This is quite an interesting story, yes, different from your usual prose. It's well written and the dialogue is great.
The only line which troubles me is the last "Finally free, finally happy, and finally smiling again." which denotes that Mary did not have a happy life, although this is not indicated in the former paragraphs. Just a thought. The writing is great.
Joan
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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I probably need to clarify that line, I am referring to Lilly, her mother finally being free etc. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Soledadpaz
2nd paragraph, after dealing with the was....
"was" does not seem to belong in that sentence.
As a nurse, I hope no one could ever be offered enough money to do such a cruel and inhumane thing. It was a good story though. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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2nd paragraph, after dealing with the was....
"was" does not seem to belong in that sentence.
As a nurse, I hope no one could ever be offered enough money to do such a cruel and inhumane thing. It was a good story though. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thanks for the great 6 stars. I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but there was a case in the 40's in Seattle where a nurse and doctor were found guilty of baby switching. However, I honestly do think this is a rare occurance. Glad you liked this one. Thanks for catching the spage.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Yes, Sasha, it works. It works very well indeed. Held my interest throughout. Pity you wrote it as a short story as it could even have made a novel, but no matter. Brilliantly put together. I wish I could be so concise!
Nothing to bitch about, just a great story. Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Hugs
Kat
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Yes, Sasha, it works. It works very well indeed. Held my interest throughout. Pity you wrote it as a short story as it could even have made a novel, but no matter. Brilliantly put together. I wish I could be so concise!
Nothing to bitch about, just a great story. Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Hugs
Kat
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thanks so much for the 6 stars. I actually thought about making this a book but I need to work on the ones I already have in the works first. Glad you liked it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This definitely worked. Great job. I realy enjoyed reading this and it kept my attention through the entire post.
all she ever said was, the bed was empty". (period inside the quotation marks)
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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This definitely worked. Great job. I realy enjoyed reading this and it kept my attention through the entire post.
all she ever said was, the bed was empty". (period inside the quotation marks)
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thanks for catching the spag. I am so pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Begin Again
Sasha,
Awesome and heart breaking at the same time. How horrible that people could be so self-centered and cruel that they would give no regard to someone elses life..Not only stealing her child but her life as well. Powerfully written.
Carol
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Sasha,
Awesome and heart breaking at the same time. How horrible that people could be so self-centered and cruel that they would give no regard to someone elses life..Not only stealing her child but her life as well. Powerfully written.
Carol
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you. I am thrilled you liked this. I wasn't sure it was going to work.
Comment from c_lucas
How many times have babies been switched at birth. This is a very well written story with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Errors
will be taken (to) the Salvation Army
have done to you and an innocent woman. (delete and)
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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How many times have babies been switched at birth. This is a very well written story with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Errors
will be taken (to) the Salvation Army
have done to you and an innocent woman. (delete and)
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you very much for your positive review. I wasn't sure if this was going to work. Thanks for catching the spags.
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You're welcome, Valery. Charlie
Comment from lola29
Wow! Sasha your entry is stunning. I can't imagine Mary's feelings once she found out her biological mother was someone she never met. It's horrible what they did to Lilly. They not only took her baby, but they took her life.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Wow! Sasha your entry is stunning. I can't imagine Mary's feelings once she found out her biological mother was someone she never met. It's horrible what they did to Lilly. They not only took her baby, but they took her life.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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That was the point. I cannot imagine being institutionalized and NOT being crazy. I am sure I eventually would go crazy. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from RebelRose
This is very creative and very sad. It's too bad that lives were totally wasted because of corrupt people. This happens in real life more than we realize.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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This is very creative and very sad. It's too bad that lives were totally wasted because of corrupt people. This happens in real life more than we realize.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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That is so true. I am pleased you liked this one despite its dark nature.