An Ordinary Life
Reflections in free verse36 total reviews
Comment from Dave the wave
I loved your extrodinary poem I wish I could have given you six stars but they did not have a six star rating for me you are a very talented writer keep up the good work your friend dave the wave
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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I loved your extrodinary poem I wish I could have given you six stars but they did not have a six star rating for me you are a very talented writer keep up the good work your friend dave the wave
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Once again Dave the Wave, thank you so very much. And once again I must apologize for just responding. jlsavell
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
jlsavell:
after reading this, I can't decide
if your life has been ordinarily
extraordinary or extraordinarily ordinary
either way, many of us should be able
to gain much from your work -- we should
all look for the extraordinary in our
ordinary, every day life
one small piece of spag for you below:
at the alter >>> at the altar
love,
jan
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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jlsavell:
after reading this, I can't decide
if your life has been ordinarily
extraordinary or extraordinarily ordinary
either way, many of us should be able
to gain much from your work -- we should
all look for the extraordinary in our
ordinary, every day life
one small piece of spag for you below:
at the alter >>> at the altar
love,
jan
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Rdfrdmom2, once again thank you so very much and once again a sincere apology for just responding. I am humbled by your generous comments and time.. thank you for spotting the nit too..jlsavell..
Comment from fictionwriter
It seems like when we look back, we see how good things were, and yet we seldom enjoy things as they are right now. I love the your ordianry life takes on new meaning. Great job.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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It seems like when we look back, we see how good things were, and yet we seldom enjoy things as they are right now. I love the your ordianry life takes on new meaning. Great job.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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joy, oh goodness here it is OPctober and I am just responding to this wonderful review. I apologize. It just takes me a little longer to respond for I am not on the site but a few hours each week. thank you soc very much for you and your loyal support. I appreciate you..jlsavell
Comment from Father Flaps
My dear Jimi
There is nothing ordinary about you.
Yes, your poems are long...but this tells me that you have put a lot of yourself into them. I appreciate the effort that you've put into every one of these masterpieces.
In your ordinary life, you tell us about your day.
In the morning, you arise early. You are no slouch. You go for an early morning jog. You get back home, put the tea kettle on to boil, (and have a cool shower, I'll bet). You enjoy listening to the birds singing their praises. As you sip your tea, the doorbell rings...the mailman and friends.
The sun comes up, the first hint of warmth, as you catch the magical appearance of a cardinal. You watch a school bus, with bubbling children. And you fondly remember those days when you would send your own kids off to school. An ordinary morning.
In the afternoon, you reminisce about your kids growing up... the diapers, first steps, the blare of Rock and Roll, and then puberty raises its ugly head, and proms.
Your next line is my favorite, "frustrations speckled with unconditional love". You were (and are) a loving & supportive mother.
But kids become adults...the boys to war, and the girls to fulfill Cinderella dreams. An ordinary afternoon.
In the evening, with your kids gone to live their lives, you are alone. And you feel a certain freedom. The time doesn't matter. There are no emergencies. You don't have to censor movies. You can put things away in the morning. You can have anything you want for supper. You sense your own wellness. You enjoy laughing with the grandchildren. You enjoy your running, but your body is not co-operating with your will lately...the "traitor"! You are getting older, slowing down. Time to allow little kiddies to paint your toenails orange! And release captured frogs out the back door! An ordinary evening.
And now it's bedtime. You realize there is a void in your life. And it isn't because your kids have grown up and left home. It isn't because you spent your day listening to birds, and thinking about yesteryear. It's because you have not been loved in a very long time. You've spent so much of your life looking after the family, that you've put love in the closet...out of sight, out of mind. An ordinary bedtime.
Then, one day, you meet an extraordinary man! And he has changed your ordinary life beyond your wildest dreams.
Bravo, Jimi! Whether other Fanstorians realize it or not, you have shared your deepest feelings with them in this poem. My hat is off to you!
your true fan,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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My dear Jimi
There is nothing ordinary about you.
Yes, your poems are long...but this tells me that you have put a lot of yourself into them. I appreciate the effort that you've put into every one of these masterpieces.
In your ordinary life, you tell us about your day.
In the morning, you arise early. You are no slouch. You go for an early morning jog. You get back home, put the tea kettle on to boil, (and have a cool shower, I'll bet). You enjoy listening to the birds singing their praises. As you sip your tea, the doorbell rings...the mailman and friends.
The sun comes up, the first hint of warmth, as you catch the magical appearance of a cardinal. You watch a school bus, with bubbling children. And you fondly remember those days when you would send your own kids off to school. An ordinary morning.
In the afternoon, you reminisce about your kids growing up... the diapers, first steps, the blare of Rock and Roll, and then puberty raises its ugly head, and proms.
Your next line is my favorite, "frustrations speckled with unconditional love". You were (and are) a loving & supportive mother.
But kids become adults...the boys to war, and the girls to fulfill Cinderella dreams. An ordinary afternoon.
In the evening, with your kids gone to live their lives, you are alone. And you feel a certain freedom. The time doesn't matter. There are no emergencies. You don't have to censor movies. You can put things away in the morning. You can have anything you want for supper. You sense your own wellness. You enjoy laughing with the grandchildren. You enjoy your running, but your body is not co-operating with your will lately...the "traitor"! You are getting older, slowing down. Time to allow little kiddies to paint your toenails orange! And release captured frogs out the back door! An ordinary evening.
And now it's bedtime. You realize there is a void in your life. And it isn't because your kids have grown up and left home. It isn't because you spent your day listening to birds, and thinking about yesteryear. It's because you have not been loved in a very long time. You've spent so much of your life looking after the family, that you've put love in the closet...out of sight, out of mind. An ordinary bedtime.
Then, one day, you meet an extraordinary man! And he has changed your ordinary life beyond your wildest dreams.
Bravo, Jimi! Whether other Fanstorians realize it or not, you have shared your deepest feelings with them in this poem. My hat is off to you!
your true fan,
Kimbob
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Kimbob!!! Once again your words move me. I am humbled. I love free verse. One of my favorite free verse writers on this site is Judian James. I learn so much from her, she is an inspiration, as are you...once again thank you so much my friend and once again an extended apology for just responding..jimi
Comment from irsajay
With a burden of life, sailing on an ordinary boat in the vast ocean is filled with dawn of realization how powerful he is when he caresses the meaning of life. And, then he is most extraordinary among all. A very beautiful crafted poem, which won our heart.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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With a burden of life, sailing on an ordinary boat in the vast ocean is filled with dawn of realization how powerful he is when he caresses the meaning of life. And, then he is most extraordinary among all. A very beautiful crafted poem, which won our heart.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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irsajay, first of all I must apologize for the delay in responding to this wonderful review. I am moved by your gernerous words and compliment..again thank you!!! jlsavell
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You're most welcome, Jlsavell.
Comment from Aussie
Can you centre the writing beneath the wonderful and mysterious forest? Me just being tidy. Now, just because I care so much; why don't you start some short poems incorporating these verses, I loved the ordinary/extraordinary life theme. Loved the tale, images and would like a series of short poems about your early years, growing up, children and guess who as well!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Can you centre the writing beneath the wonderful and mysterious forest? Me just being tidy. Now, just because I care so much; why don't you start some short poems incorporating these verses, I loved the ordinary/extraordinary life theme. Loved the tale, images and would like a series of short poems about your early years, growing up, children and guess who as well!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Kay, my wonderful friend..yes I know a belated thank you. I apologize for the length of time it took me to respond.. this was truly a fun write. I love free verse. again sweet Kay, thank you so very much..jimi
Comment from Dave M
Jimi,
This is an exceptional poem, well worth a six-star review. I couldn't find anything to criticize.
An ordinary life can be such a blessing, and so many people never get the chance.
Dave
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Jimi,
This is an exceptional poem, well worth a six-star review. I couldn't find anything to criticize.
An ordinary life can be such a blessing, and so many people never get the chance.
Dave
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Dave M, thank you so very very much. When I get an exceptional from you it makes my heart soar, for I know what it takes to impress you. I am humbled, truly. I apologize for the delay in just responding. So much to do in so little time. thank you once again my friend for the exceptional, but mosdt of all for you!!! jimi
Comment from missy98writer
jlsavell,
you are waxing poetic upon the page. Another fabulous poem you've penned. I adore free verse because the writer is free to express themselves and they don't have to worry about rhymes. Your poem paints a stark picture of life. Beautiful art work sets off your poem. Great title 'An Ordinary Life.' I enjoyed the lines;
In the serenity of a magnificent sunset in my ordinary life,
a new found freedom emerges,
where time is not of essence
and unpredictable predictability was not to be expected
Movies selected were not for impressionable minds
and decorum was put on a shelf
Dinner was anything, anything I craved
The toys in the corner were for short fun visits
by busy little people that brought me frogs
and painted my toes with electric orange
These little precocious people
giving me the gift of nonsensical laughter
My runs were longer and more sustained,
though my body was becoming traitor to my will
It is then that I realized that my quaint ordinary life
was more extraordinary than ordinary held
Cleaver use of alliteration in your free verse. Wonderful use of metaphors throughout your free verse such as 'birth my run', 'jostle my ears', 'clamor midday', 'sun breaths upon my face', 'vested splendor', 'precious cargo', 'people chattering', and 'Cinderella dreams' jus to name a few. What an awesome free verse. You have such a talented pen and I look forward to reading more of your poetic art. Have a great day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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jlsavell,
you are waxing poetic upon the page. Another fabulous poem you've penned. I adore free verse because the writer is free to express themselves and they don't have to worry about rhymes. Your poem paints a stark picture of life. Beautiful art work sets off your poem. Great title 'An Ordinary Life.' I enjoyed the lines;
In the serenity of a magnificent sunset in my ordinary life,
a new found freedom emerges,
where time is not of essence
and unpredictable predictability was not to be expected
Movies selected were not for impressionable minds
and decorum was put on a shelf
Dinner was anything, anything I craved
The toys in the corner were for short fun visits
by busy little people that brought me frogs
and painted my toes with electric orange
These little precocious people
giving me the gift of nonsensical laughter
My runs were longer and more sustained,
though my body was becoming traitor to my will
It is then that I realized that my quaint ordinary life
was more extraordinary than ordinary held
Cleaver use of alliteration in your free verse. Wonderful use of metaphors throughout your free verse such as 'birth my run', 'jostle my ears', 'clamor midday', 'sun breaths upon my face', 'vested splendor', 'precious cargo', 'people chattering', and 'Cinderella dreams' jus to name a few. What an awesome free verse. You have such a talented pen and I look forward to reading more of your poetic art. Have a great day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Melissa, thank you once again so very much for stopping by to read and review my work. I apologize for the late delay in responding. I am only on the site a few hours a weeek and at times just a few a month. I appreciate your in depth review and comments and compliments..how are yuor gardens growing??// again thank you..jlsavell..
Comment from zoocq
I love this journey through an 'ordinary' life...not! I love the passages about finding a degree of contentment in our later years...what I call my 50's. And that love found you again...you are right, everything is extraordinary in an ordinary life!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I love this journey through an 'ordinary' life...not! I love the passages about finding a degree of contentment in our later years...what I call my 50's. And that love found you again...you are right, everything is extraordinary in an ordinary life!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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zoocq, how are you? Thank you so very much for stopping by . I apologize for just responding. I apprecite you, your comments and review very very much..again thank you..jlsavell
Comment from samandlancelot
Truly beautiful poetry throughout. I love how you progressed through your ordinary life in stages showing how extraordinary your ordinary life was. Patricia
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Truly beautiful poetry throughout. I love how you progressed through your ordinary life in stages showing how extraordinary your ordinary life was. Patricia
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Patricia, first of all I must apologize profusley for just responding to this review. I have been scarce on the site these last few months. Thank you so very much for such an exceptional review. I am humbled that this poem touched you so..again thank you so very very much!!!1 jlsavell