You Had No Right!
prompt entry for the inner child22 total reviews
Comment from Jazh
This is a very sad and poignant poem. You have portrayed childhood sexual abuse very well. It flows well, with good rhymes. The only suggestion I have - and it's just my personal opinion! - is to slightly shorten that last line. eg 'But I hope you made peace in heaven, [so] the new you [I'll] see". Just a thought. Good luck with the contest. :)
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2009
  |
This is a very sad and poignant poem. You have portrayed childhood sexual abuse very well. It flows well, with good rhymes. The only suggestion I have - and it's just my personal opinion! - is to slightly shorten that last line. eg 'But I hope you made peace in heaven, [so] the new you [I'll] see". Just a thought. Good luck with the contest. :)
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2009
-
Thank you. I will look at it again. Hugs, Teri
Comment from EllieKaye
That last stanza is such a beautiful expression of forgiveness. Amazing. I am glad you were able to forgive- because that helps you to grow.
Take care, dear Teri.
Ellie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2009
|
That last stanza is such a beautiful expression of forgiveness. Amazing. I am glad you were able to forgive- because that helps you to grow.
Take care, dear Teri.
Ellie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2009
-
Thank you my friend. Hugs, Teri