Beneath a Crescent Moon
a minute poem41 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
HI Alvin. This is a very well written piece of poetry in minute poetry style. I enjoyed your imagery although your words made me feel very sad
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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HI Alvin. This is a very well written piece of poetry in minute poetry style. I enjoyed your imagery although your words made me feel very sad
Comment Written 28-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Mental illness is very sad, but more people need to know about it. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from heyjude
Alvin,
Very well done. We all have struggles and pray to God that
He will help us overcome temptations of life. A very good entry to the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Alvin,
Very well done. We all have struggles and pray to God that
He will help us overcome temptations of life. A very good entry to the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Thanks; you are always so kind.
Comment from Charmane
Very good! This leaves me a bit scary because the word "doom" put me on edge as I finished this read. Your language was eerie and that held my attention too. It seemed that I was drawn into the text. Wonderfully constructed. Beautiful background.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Very good! This leaves me a bit scary because the word "doom" put me on edge as I finished this read. Your language was eerie and that held my attention too. It seemed that I was drawn into the text. Wonderfully constructed. Beautiful background.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Yes, I want more people to know how mental illness feels. Thanks for a great review. You truly understand what I wanted to convey.
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The pleasure is mine.
Comment from peggysis64
Very well written. No problems with style, you are well practiced it appears. Strong imagery and emotion, I could feel the impending doom and the fright on that dark night.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Very well written. No problems with style, you are well practiced it appears. Strong imagery and emotion, I could feel the impending doom and the fright on that dark night.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Yes, you "caught" what I wanted to convey. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from T.S.J.
You know much more then I about how a poem is structured . But I know a great poem when I see and hear one, This is not the exception. I liked this poem very much , i FEEL YOU SPOKE FOR ALL WHO LIVE IN BIG CITYS. t.s.j.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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You know much more then I about how a poem is structured . But I know a great poem when I see and hear one, This is not the exception. I liked this poem very much , i FEEL YOU SPOKE FOR ALL WHO LIVE IN BIG CITYS. t.s.j.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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Yes, it can get lonely and frightening sometimes, can't it? Thanks for a good review.
Comment from kittybaby
Nice, short and sweat. That's the kind of poems I like. You cut to the chase.
I do not see any adjustments at all. It's in perfect nick
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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Nice, short and sweat. That's the kind of poems I like. You cut to the chase.
I do not see any adjustments at all. It's in perfect nick
Comment Written 27-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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Than you for your very kind review.
Comment from wheelyfast
This is good and evokes strong images. However, this line has tempted me, seems a bit out of place.I think it was because it didm't fit with the rest of the rhyme/rhythm. Otherwise I like this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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This is good and evokes strong images. However, this line has tempted me, seems a bit out of place.I think it was because it didm't fit with the rest of the rhyme/rhythm. Otherwise I like this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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For me to be able to improve the poem, I need to know why you feel it is a bit out of place. Thanks for a good review.
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I updated my review to say why.
Comment from Allezw2
Master ATE,
Tis a wonder that we are so sophisticated that our culture has the time to seek intellectual stimulation in word games.
Communication by simple phrases have evolved in a highly structured forms or one sort or another.
So, nicely done,
Fantasist
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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Master ATE,
Tis a wonder that we are so sophisticated that our culture has the time to seek intellectual stimulation in word games.
Communication by simple phrases have evolved in a highly structured forms or one sort or another.
So, nicely done,
Fantasist
Comment Written 26-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
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Thank you. I rather like the conciseness the minute form of poetry forces one into. It makes one consider each word with care. Thanks for a great review.
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My yes, the pleasure was, indeed, mine.
Comment from Robbin
Good "Minute Poetry" contest entry. Very deep and dark. Words were very descriptive and emotional. Temptation is a inner battle we all at times face. Good luck with the contest. Robbin
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2008
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Good "Minute Poetry" contest entry. Very deep and dark. Words were very descriptive and emotional. Temptation is a inner battle we all at times face. Good luck with the contest. Robbin
Comment Written 26-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2008
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from Broken Fingers
Hi Alvin
I always find your poems are ones to consider deeply. You write, although on surface with simplicity, of a complex nature and personality. This poem is enormously expressive of fears and has a portentous feeling. It gives a dichotomy of feelings between the dread of insanity and evil and leaves one to question whether the writer feels that one leads from the other and if so which comes first. Much food for thought, you are an excellent writer.
Mr H (Gavin)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2008
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Hi Alvin
I always find your poems are ones to consider deeply. You write, although on surface with simplicity, of a complex nature and personality. This poem is enormously expressive of fears and has a portentous feeling. It gives a dichotomy of feelings between the dread of insanity and evil and leaves one to question whether the writer feels that one leads from the other and if so which comes first. Much food for thought, you are an excellent writer.
Mr H (Gavin)
Comment Written 26-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2008
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Thank you; you are very kind. I think when we feel insanity coming one, we do feel like evil is attacking us. Thank you for an excellent review.