Comment from Sallyo

Excellent

That's a grand opening to the story. You've held the voice of your young narrator well, and given us enough backstory without info-dumping. Fran seems a tough, no-nonsense character and it should be interesting to see how things devolve after such a shattering change in the family dynamics.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Sally. I appreciate your analysis.

Did you happen to catch the Prologue I posted on Monday? You'll get a good idea of the end result of the slow, downward spiral that begins with this first chapter. That will be the subject of Part 1. In Part 2 we will see where he goes from there in the present day.

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

Congratulations on making the 300 milestone post with this contribution. I'm glad I got in from the beginning and am curious what direction you take with it. Good luck.

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 Comment Written 06-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Earl. Hard to believe it's 300 already.

This is the first chapter of the book, but did you happen to read the Prologue too, which I posted on Monday?

reply by Earl Corp on 06-Jun-2024

I just did and am still looking forward to the rest.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Exceptional

So far,great
It is different than previous pieces.Maybe because I lived in that area in the early eighties
Is this a personal tale resurrected with fictitious characters?

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024

Thanks, Tom, for those 6 stars. I live in this area of North Carolina currently, so all of these places are familiar to me, but this is not my story except in an indirect sense, but in the same sense that it will be many people's story.

It will deal with addictions, and the role of both pleasure and pain in our lives. Most people are familiar with both of these motivators of human behavior and have or have had one or more addictions to varying degrees. This could be something as simple as an addiction to sweets or to playing video games or as significant as alcohol or drug abuse. But pleasure and pain play into all of them and guide much of our actions.

Brian has already showed us some early inklings of addictive behavior with his overeating and hours spent playing online chess. I currently share those same two addictions to a degree. I hope to explore the interactions of both pleasure and pain and the affect they have on addictions.

reply by Tom Horonzy on 06-Jun-2024

Then we are neighbors more or less
I live near Tryon 6 miles from TIEC

reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024

Howdy, neighbor. What is TIEC?

Also, are you planning to go to the US Open this year at Pinehurst? I won't be going, unfortunately, because my right foot won't allow it (thinks he's the boss), but I did go to the one there in 2014.

reply by Tom Horonzy on 07-Jun-2024

https://www.resort.tryon.com/events
A place all things horses. 1200 stalls used when BIG BIG BIG competitions are schedule..

Comment from Nicole Schmidt

Excellent

"Leave me alone." I yanked the covers back up and closed my eyes again, hoping she'd go away. Francine was 18. She was a big girl and a terrific athlete. Although not an especially good student, she was tough and smart and good at most everything she did, although I could beat her handily in chess. She had graduated from high school last spring and was now enrolled in a law enforcement program at Forsyth Tech Community College.

This is a good read overall

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 Comment Written 06-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024

Thank you very much, Nicole.