Nightfall
We don't always end up with the one we want.51 total reviews
Comment from royowen
A most imaginative story, which speaks of hopeful yearnings, I can remember having crushes on girls who never knew that I did, it smacks of that time. Although long forgotten and lost in the antiquity of time and the mystery of youth. Thus us beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
  |
A most imaginative story, which speaks of hopeful yearnings, I can remember having crushes on girls who never knew that I did, it smacks of that time. Although long forgotten and lost in the antiquity of time and the mystery of youth. Thus us beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing, Roy. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it so much. Take care. :D :D
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed the creative way you chose to have the deceased young man tell the story. His feelings and emotions were believable and understandable. All three of your characters were well developed and realistic. I really enjoyed the story.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
I enjoyed the creative way you chose to have the deceased young man tell the story. His feelings and emotions were believable and understandable. All three of your characters were well developed and realistic. I really enjoyed the story.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Thank you!! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it so much. I loved writing this one, too. Take care. :D :D
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your story is fantastic. I was mesmerized by the words you wrote. The story has such a lovely flow of words from start to finish. I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading this one. Maybe you should enter it in the forgiveness contest.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
 |
Your story is fantastic. I was mesmerized by the words you wrote. The story has such a lovely flow of words from start to finish. I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading this one. Maybe you should enter it in the forgiveness contest.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm sorry you cried from it, but I guess it was that powerful. I thought about entering it, but since I posted it here in my profile instead of in the contest, I can't add it. I have more stories that I'll be posting here soon. Thank you again. Take care. :D :D
Comment from John Ciarmello
I enjoyed this! The bonding friendship of two people and then a third. His passing was a jolt, but I loved how you had him tell the story. It made it haunting and entirely original. I loved it! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
I enjoyed this! The bonding friendship of two people and then a third. His passing was a jolt, but I loved how you had him tell the story. It made it haunting and entirely original. I loved it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing, John. I appreciate it and your feedback. This is one of my favorite stories, and while more bittersweet than I tend to write, I loved the characters. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. Take care. :D :D
Comment from estory
This story has an interesting perspective, from the point of view of the dead lover, watching this struggle of the relationship of his former friends. There's this sense of poignancy of life, of frustration at not being able to take part in the joys and sorrows and struggles of love. A frustration at not being able to lend a hand to the girl in need. There's a staccato quality to the short, abrupt lines, hammering through these scenes that takes some of the emotional flow out of it, I think. In some ways that's good, maybe in others bad. By removing the emotion, you give us even more perspective of these people, we watch them like we are watching facts unfold on a news story. But it's also harder to connect with the characters as readers. It's a fine balance and you have to decide where you want to fall on either side of the line. But this is an interesting mechanism for telling this story. estory
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
This story has an interesting perspective, from the point of view of the dead lover, watching this struggle of the relationship of his former friends. There's this sense of poignancy of life, of frustration at not being able to take part in the joys and sorrows and struggles of love. A frustration at not being able to lend a hand to the girl in need. There's a staccato quality to the short, abrupt lines, hammering through these scenes that takes some of the emotional flow out of it, I think. In some ways that's good, maybe in others bad. By removing the emotion, you give us even more perspective of these people, we watch them like we are watching facts unfold on a news story. But it's also harder to connect with the characters as readers. It's a fine balance and you have to decide where you want to fall on either side of the line. But this is an interesting mechanism for telling this story. estory
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing, estory. I appreciate it and your feedback. I didn't even realize I'd done that; interesting how our writing takes on a life of its own many times. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from papa55mike
Telling the tough stories is a hard thing to do. I love the changeover scene when he realizes the change. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
Telling the tough stories is a hard thing to do. I love the changeover scene when he realizes the change. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing, Mike. I appreciate it and your feedback. It's gotten easier to talk about her in the past few years, but the emotional jolt and emptiness of her loss still creeps up in my weakest moments. Yet, I like to believe she's still with me, even though it's not a physical sense. Thank you again. Take care. :D :D
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a lovely story! It ended perfectly, as it should do. He had to let her go in the end, and she had to move on with living. Finally, the living did get together, and she admitted to herself, then to him that she returned his love. Lovely, bittersweet ending. Lovely story! Well done, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
What a lovely story! It ended perfectly, as it should do. He had to let her go in the end, and she had to move on with living. Finally, the living did get together, and she admitted to herself, then to him that she returned his love. Lovely, bittersweet ending. Lovely story! Well done, Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing, Sandra. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it so much. I have to admit, it's one of my favorites, even though I don't typically write bittersweet stories. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D :D
Comment from Tpa
I enjoyed the story. It started suspenseful and slowly developed into a romantic but a sad writing. You did an excellent job describing the accident and the superb ending.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023
|
I enjoyed the story. It started suspenseful and slowly developed into a romantic but a sad writing. You did an excellent job describing the accident and the superb ending.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback, Tpa. This is one of my favorites, and I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D
Comment from Shirley McLain
You have 3 virtual sixes since I don't have a real one. This is a wonderful story, and I enjoyed reading it. It was sad, but had a happy ending just the way I like them. You did a great job. Have a good evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023
|
You have 3 virtual sixes since I don't have a real one. This is a wonderful story, and I enjoyed reading it. It was sad, but had a happy ending just the way I like them. You did a great job. Have a good evening. Shirley
Comment Written 17-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Shirley. I appreciate it and your feedback. Awwww, thank you so much for those three virtual sixes. I really appreciate those. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this story. It's one of my personal favorites. Thank you again for reading. Take care. :D
Comment from Douglas Goff
Wow this is hauntingly beautiful and very well put together.
I plan to haunt lots of people when I go, and that even includes some of you all on FS. Maybe I'll be a 'ghost writer'. Yeah, I went there.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023
|
Wow this is hauntingly beautiful and very well put together.
I plan to haunt lots of people when I go, and that even includes some of you all on FS. Maybe I'll be a 'ghost writer'. Yeah, I went there.
Very well done.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023
-
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Douglas. I appreciate it and your feedback. Lol!!!! Well, this is the perfect story for that. Nicely put. Thanks again for reading. Take care. :D
-
Your writing is a blessing. You are very good.
-
Thank you! That means a lot to me. :D