Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 80 "Acrostic Sonnet"Musings of an old man - 2022
27 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jim,
It must be tricky when you mix two poetry forms. This is done well. It seems you are saying that maybe you have problems with having a form with too many rules and different word usage. I think you made one mistake. You need to take out or move the word somewhat because style is supposed to be the end word so it rhymes with awhile.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Hi Jim,
It must be tricky when you mix two poetry forms. This is done well. It seems you are saying that maybe you have problems with having a form with too many rules and different word usage. I think you made one mistake. You need to take out or move the word somewhat because style is supposed to be the end word so it rhymes with awhile.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Joan great catch, thanks!
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Glad I could help, Jim.
Joan
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An acrostic with a difference and it is not easy to write an acrostic in metre and you started off okay and then the metre was lost, but I still enjoyed your humour and bravery here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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An acrostic with a difference and it is not easy to write an acrostic in metre and you started off okay and then the metre was lost, but I still enjoyed your humour and bravery here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Thanks much Dolly, Smiling with a bit of tongue in the cheek fun?playing outside the black and white box seems so freeing?
Comment from Fleedleflump
It's fun to play around with sonnets and see where we can take them! By my count, line four is 9 syllables. I'd also put 'pine' rather than 'pines' after 'two sharp eyes' - I realise you were meeting the rhyme, but it's still close enough to be a partial. The iambic meter feels off in a couple of places too - lines 4 (RE-fine), 7 (WITH-in), 10 (I-am-BIC), 13 (EN-gaged).
I realise your theme is rigid rules and poking fun at them, but I can't read it without pointing them out :-)
Mike
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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It's fun to play around with sonnets and see where we can take them! By my count, line four is 9 syllables. I'd also put 'pine' rather than 'pines' after 'two sharp eyes' - I realise you were meeting the rhyme, but it's still close enough to be a partial. The iambic meter feels off in a couple of places too - lines 4 (RE-fine), 7 (WITH-in), 10 (I-am-BIC), 13 (EN-gaged).
I realise your theme is rigid rules and poking fun at them, but I can't read it without pointing them out :-)
Mike
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Mike, spot catches! Grateful for your eyes
Comment from Bill Schott
This modified acrostic Italian sonnet, ACROSTIC SONNET, follows both the vertical first-letter theme and the sonnet formatting, describes the work be presented.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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This modified acrostic Italian sonnet, ACROSTIC SONNET, follows both the vertical first-letter theme and the sonnet formatting, describes the work be presented.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks Bill!
Comment from irishauthorme
Some great lines here, woven in between some intricate thoughts!
"the rules do trump the play's intended confines," (as in juxtaposed?)
Neat use of this Italian format to create an acrostic, no mean feat!
Ah, to err. And not condoned? Yes, that would make anyone smile.
Good work,
irish
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Some great lines here, woven in between some intricate thoughts!
"the rules do trump the play's intended confines," (as in juxtaposed?)
Neat use of this Italian format to create an acrostic, no mean feat!
Ah, to err. And not condoned? Yes, that would make anyone smile.
Good work,
irish
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Smiles back to yo irish!
Comment from Mia Twysted
An interesting piece. I love the way you accented the tiled within the piece. It keeps it in mind for the reader as they work their way through the poem.
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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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An interesting piece. I love the way you accented the tiled within the piece. It keeps it in mind for the reader as they work their way through the poem.
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Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks Mia
Comment from royowen
It's probably incredibly hard to compose a rhythmic rhyming poem it seems, but for you it seems to be normal, so good on you. This work is not only unusual, but hard to do, although it a challenge it would be hard, beautifully written my friend, an acrostic sonnet is a first I think, well done Jim, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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It's probably incredibly hard to compose a rhythmic rhyming poem it seems, but for you it seems to be normal, so good on you. This work is not only unusual, but hard to do, although it a challenge it would be hard, beautifully written my friend, an acrostic sonnet is a first I think, well done Jim, blessings Roy
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Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks Roy! I tidied it up a bit more.
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Well done