This Time It's Personal
An ethical question is contemplated.29 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
Terry,
I have mixed reactions to this one. You started with a very serious topic (last "opportunities" for billables prior to death). It is a tragic realty I have seen occur and probably happens a lot more than we know. I don't think it's limited to a few young doctors/surgeons. "Procedures" and surgeries keep hospitals afloat. I was a little disappointed that the ending was simple vengeance against one doctor, even if it prevents him from repeating his "practice." It just felt like a mix of serious thought and Halloween horror. It could just be me, because a similar event struck close to home. Some tweaking notes follow.
Sue
Her pastor, my brother, and a doctor gathered around her when I entered the room. -- suggest were gathered; reads as though they were protecting her from "you"
"I am planning on asking Dr. Burks that exact question." -- seems a little stilted
"No, I want don't anybody killed." Then I explained to John what I did want. -- hiccup in word order
A couple of weeks later, on a Sunday morning, my cell phone shows an incoming call from my brother. ==> showed
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Terry,
I have mixed reactions to this one. You started with a very serious topic (last "opportunities" for billables prior to death). It is a tragic realty I have seen occur and probably happens a lot more than we know. I don't think it's limited to a few young doctors/surgeons. "Procedures" and surgeries keep hospitals afloat. I was a little disappointed that the ending was simple vengeance against one doctor, even if it prevents him from repeating his "practice." It just felt like a mix of serious thought and Halloween horror. It could just be me, because a similar event struck close to home. Some tweaking notes follow.
Sue
Her pastor, my brother, and a doctor gathered around her when I entered the room. -- suggest were gathered; reads as though they were protecting her from "you"
"I am planning on asking Dr. Burks that exact question." -- seems a little stilted
"No, I want don't anybody killed." Then I explained to John what I did want. -- hiccup in word order
A couple of weeks later, on a Sunday morning, my cell phone shows an incoming call from my brother. ==> showed
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Sue, thank you for reading and the edit suggestions. Terry.
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Most welcome.
Comment from GWHARGIS
That had a bit of twilight zone, night gallery and Alfred Hitchcock to ot. Serious and a bit spooky towards the end. Unfortunately, I hear of a lot of doctors like that. Working as a pharmacist tech, I hear the good, bad and ugly about doctors and nurses. Scary what some are willing to do for insurance. Another great one. Gretchen
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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That had a bit of twilight zone, night gallery and Alfred Hitchcock to ot. Serious and a bit spooky towards the end. Unfortunately, I hear of a lot of doctors like that. Working as a pharmacist tech, I hear the good, bad and ugly about doctors and nurses. Scary what some are willing to do for insurance. Another great one. Gretchen
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Gretchen, thank you for the six stars! I am delighted you found it entertaining. It is a little different for me. Terry.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
Texas Monthly Magazine named me Jeb Woods, the best "Criminal Defense Lawyer" in the state. - needs a comma after 'me'.
So the mafia 'medicated' him, chopped his hand, and drove him off a cliff - justice served.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Nicely written.
Texas Monthly Magazine named me Jeb Woods, the best "Criminal Defense Lawyer" in the state. - needs a comma after 'me'.
So the mafia 'medicated' him, chopped his hand, and drove him off a cliff - justice served.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Wayne, thank you for the review and your edit suggestion. Terry.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Terry, this is definitely well written. I think it was also cruel and mean how you wished upon Dr. Patel to die in a car crash. There were no mistakes in the writing and it was easy to read. So, after reading this I feel a little bit queasy for the life of the young Dr. Patel.
Thanks for sharing your interesting story.
Jesse
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Terry, this is definitely well written. I think it was also cruel and mean how you wished upon Dr. Patel to die in a car crash. There were no mistakes in the writing and it was easy to read. So, after reading this I feel a little bit queasy for the life of the young Dr. Patel.
Thanks for sharing your interesting story.
Jesse
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Jesse, thank you for reading the story and for your review. The lawyer, Jeb, didn't want the young doctor to die, just wanted him out of the game. Thanks, Terry.
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Still, it brings bad Karma.
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I get it, buddy. It happened to my mother. Everything else in the story was fiction.
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Sometimes I forget it is fiction.
Have a wonderful day!
Jesse
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LOL, You too.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Great story per usual. The text is a great size. the plot of the story carries the reader from beginning to end. I think this line needs to be stated differently}"No, I want don't anybody killed." OMG! Terry, you go from one extreme to the next with your story endings. lol This time it is dark or black humor (humor marked by the use of usually morbid, ironic, grotesquely comic episodes). I must admit I did chuckle because he was a cad. This was an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Great story per usual. The text is a great size. the plot of the story carries the reader from beginning to end. I think this line needs to be stated differently}"No, I want don't anybody killed." OMG! Terry, you go from one extreme to the next with your story endings. lol This time it is dark or black humor (humor marked by the use of usually morbid, ironic, grotesquely comic episodes). I must admit I did chuckle because he was a cad. This was an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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LOL, well Sandra, you do get it, as usual. Thank you for reading. Terry.
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You are welcome. You are a double win. Your entries are top notch (tad quirky in the best way) and one can earn points. You are always on first page. Have a blessed week.
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Sandra, thanks for noticing that I do try different themes and styles. It may not always be effective, but at least more interesting to me. Terry.
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You are welcome. That's exactly what I like about your writing. One never knows what topic you will write about, and for damn sure don't know the unpredictable endings. LOL
Comment from royowen
Isn't it good that you wrote about about what some might call poetic justice. A fascinating tale about our main protagonist and his mother dealing with the moral issue of stopping a doctor from perhaps carrying out highly immoral operations on patients may die on the operating table, therefore profiting from subterfuge, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : (I want don't anybody killed) don't want?
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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Isn't it good that you wrote about about what some might call poetic justice. A fascinating tale about our main protagonist and his mother dealing with the moral issue of stopping a doctor from perhaps carrying out highly immoral operations on patients may die on the operating table, therefore profiting from subterfuge, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : (I want don't anybody killed) don't want?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Roy, thank you for reading and for your review. I am glad you pointed out the typo, I got it changed. Terry.
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Most welcome
Comment from karenina
What are these sixes for if not to honor writing that is so riveting I was breathless by the end?
There is a slimy film of immorality for profit... It does exist.
I found myself rooting for what I can only define as "ethical justice." Karma with incentive... Creative fate...
Sometimes? It needs to be personal!
Wow, Terry.
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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What are these sixes for if not to honor writing that is so riveting I was breathless by the end?
There is a slimy film of immorality for profit... It does exist.
I found myself rooting for what I can only define as "ethical justice." Karma with incentive... Creative fate...
Sometimes? It needs to be personal!
Wow, Terry.
Karenina
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Karenina, thank you for the six stars! This is fiction, with some truths. Terry.
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Thirty-five years as an RN-- Many wonderful doctors and other health care professionals. Some, however, were as self-possessed as your fictional doctor. Not mistakes. Intentional misdeeds! I hear you.
Comment from BermyBye50
Terry,
Your story encompasses al the emotion and tension between the characters in this intensely complex relational story involving a deeply personal dilemma involving a questionable ethical decision. Each paragraph is engaging and captures the attention of the reader. Your strategic use of dialogue enhances the tension woven throughout this brilliant story. The event of Karma playing a roll in the end of the story is genius. Well-done.
All the best,
Eugene
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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Terry,
Your story encompasses al the emotion and tension between the characters in this intensely complex relational story involving a deeply personal dilemma involving a questionable ethical decision. Each paragraph is engaging and captures the attention of the reader. Your strategic use of dialogue enhances the tension woven throughout this brilliant story. The event of Karma playing a roll in the end of the story is genius. Well-done.
All the best,
Eugene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Eugene, I love your review! Thank you for the kind words. Terry.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is fantastic. Tightly-written, compelling, I was on the edge of my seat the whole way through. You only made one mistake. You should have entered it in the next horror story contest. It was a consummate horror story for the intelligent reader, with dubious ethics / no official retribution / fear of the families of the old / revenge. A masterpiece. Kate xx
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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This is fantastic. Tightly-written, compelling, I was on the edge of my seat the whole way through. You only made one mistake. You should have entered it in the next horror story contest. It was a consummate horror story for the intelligent reader, with dubious ethics / no official retribution / fear of the families of the old / revenge. A masterpiece. Kate xx
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Kate, thank you for the six stars! Your review is better written than my story. Thank you, you are the best. Terry.