Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 73 "Survival Instincts"Musings of an old man - 2022
27 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
This was an interesting form and a really cool effect with the layered refrain lines. Love the scattered alliteration and assurance, helping you control pace changes. I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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This was an interesting form and a really cool effect with the layered refrain lines. Love the scattered alliteration and assurance, helping you control pace changes. I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, Mike.
Comment from royowen
I haven't seen one of these for quite a well Jim, and not only have you succeeded in repeating the lines required, but also written in magnificent alliteration and some internal rhyme, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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I haven't seen one of these for quite a well Jim, and not only have you succeeded in repeating the lines required, but also written in magnificent alliteration and some internal rhyme, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, Roy,we well, friend.
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Bless you
Comment from Nathan Macklin-Hill
Wow, what can I say. This poetry is perfection. From beginning to end, I was intrigued. Thank you for such a masterpiece, I hope to see more just like this.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Wow, what can I say. This poetry is perfection. From beginning to end, I was intrigued. Thank you for such a masterpiece, I hope to see more just like this.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, Nathan.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
When someone feels they have a vise on them, they feel confined.
No one cares to feel like they cannot breathe, and no one wants to
be smothered. People must have their freedom and space. No one
has the right to treat someone as if they were in prison.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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When someone feels they have a vise on them, they feel confined.
No one cares to feel like they cannot breathe, and no one wants to
be smothered. People must have their freedom and space. No one
has the right to treat someone as if they were in prison.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, Carolyn.
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You are welcome.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Nicely written and creative. Using nature as an example for hanging tight and having tenacity was an excellent brainstorm. I enjoyed reading this poem and look forward to more of your writings.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Nicely written and creative. Using nature as an example for hanging tight and having tenacity was an excellent brainstorm. I enjoyed reading this poem and look forward to more of your writings.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, prettybluebirds.
Comment from lyenochka
Super job with your Cascade poem! Loved how you started with the physical illustration of a plant's tendrils and then you expand that using tendrils as a metaphor of friends/lovers who may choke their loved ones with a suffocating kind of love. I also found your unrhymed lines made the verses flow more naturally.
One comment:
"Be cautious of such lovers or friends who clutches" (Suggest using:
"clutch" because the subject is plural. Or you could use the noun instead of the verb and change to "whose clutches."
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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Super job with your Cascade poem! Loved how you started with the physical illustration of a plant's tendrils and then you expand that using tendrils as a metaphor of friends/lovers who may choke their loved ones with a suffocating kind of love. I also found your unrhymed lines made the verses flow more naturally.
One comment:
"Be cautious of such lovers or friends who clutches" (Suggest using:
"clutch" because the subject is plural. Or you could use the noun instead of the verb and change to "whose clutches."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, lvenochka, wonderful input. You know, of course, it such is always most welcomed.
Comment from Raul1
I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. It's beautifully written. It is easy to read and understand it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. It's beautifully written. It is easy to read and understand it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Smiles back! Thank you, Raul. Hope your Miami weekend is radiant and you can enjoy catching a breath of peace and calm.