Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "Homeward Bound"Musings of an old man - 2022
28 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Homeward Bound, translates the "school of hard knocks" into this softer statement. Life is one mistake after another until we are fully qualified to leave the planet.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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This poem, Homeward Bound, translates the "school of hard knocks" into this softer statement. Life is one mistake after another until we are fully qualified to leave the planet.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Bill, Roger that!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I am uncertain the point as to repeating lines three and four. Was that called for in this contest? If so, you nailed it. AS for suggestions? Only one as line one and two in verse one has "still." It is duplicitous. Perhaps, Sometimes I ponder or a derivative thereof. Good luck
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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I am uncertain the point as to repeating lines three and four. Was that called for in this contest? If so, you nailed it. AS for suggestions? Only one as line one and two in verse one has "still." It is duplicitous. Perhaps, Sometimes I ponder or a derivative thereof. Good luck
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Hey Tom. While this is not a contest entry, I intended to create a lyrical rhythm with a two-line repeating refrain. Hope all is going well, Jim
Comment from AbbyeK7
Good job! You need to check out songwriting. I like your refrain. I like your descriptions. You may want to remove the piss words if this is a Christian poem. I understand, yes, the world does this to us constantly.
Keep writing. I like how you said God is wow.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Good job! You need to check out songwriting. I like your refrain. I like your descriptions. You may want to remove the piss words if this is a Christian poem. I understand, yes, the world does this to us constantly.
Keep writing. I like how you said God is wow.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Thanks, I appreciate the caution, but I rather imagine that God might be pissed just by how much we have abused free will. I pray for forgiveness in any event, since this is not a contest entry.
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He may be pissed at times, but He does love us. You are fine.
Comment from Beejay
A lovely presentation, a piece o& poetry full of mist and reason, leaving so many unanswered questions. I read it through a couple of times..and each time it left me with a mixed emotional as it concluded.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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A lovely presentation, a piece o& poetry full of mist and reason, leaving so many unanswered questions. I read it through a couple of times..and each time it left me with a mixed emotional as it concluded.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Beejay, thanks for your review.
Comment from jp88
What a lovely poem. And the line "Not a newbie any longer, still I wonder" is an absolute pleaser, and it stays in your head. That's a really nice achievement. It reads a bit like a song you know when the crowd always joins in for the last two lines of each paragraph. It also has a beautiful melancholic touch to it that I thoroughly enjoyed. Well done!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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What a lovely poem. And the line "Not a newbie any longer, still I wonder" is an absolute pleaser, and it stays in your head. That's a really nice achievement. It reads a bit like a song you know when the crowd always joins in for the last two lines of each paragraph. It also has a beautiful melancholic touch to it that I thoroughly enjoyed. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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jp88 I smile back with much thanks!
Comment from dragonpoet
Jim,
This poem uses repertition well to show the meditation on whethe we will go to Heaven when our time comes. We all have doubts and a lack of true understanding on this as we age.
Keep writng and stay healthy
Good entry for the picture this club.
Joan
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Jim,
This poem uses repertition well to show the meditation on whethe we will go to Heaven when our time comes. We all have doubts and a lack of true understanding on this as we age.
Keep writng and stay healthy
Good entry for the picture this club.
Joan
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Thanks Joan
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My pleasure, Jim.
Joan
Comment from Fleedleflump
I think we are all destined to wonder and hope always, and that goes hand in hand with doubt and self-sabotage. That's especially true of us writers, attempting to log life and love and living's loves until we disappear into a maelstrom of motif and wordplay.
I very much enjoyed this piece :-)
Mike
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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I think we are all destined to wonder and hope always, and that goes hand in hand with doubt and self-sabotage. That's especially true of us writers, attempting to log life and love and living's loves until we disappear into a maelstrom of motif and wordplay.
I very much enjoyed this piece :-)
Mike
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Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Mike -- such is the mystery. We come in with empty hard drives wired in and leave with with who knows what .... Jim
Comment from Wendy G
A poem well suited to the intriguing image, and your repetition of the line is thought-provoking. You've included various elements of the journey through life's with all the right and wrong decisions made, along with the ever-present awareness of the time. Well done! Interesting and different - and thought-provoking.
Wendy
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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A poem well suited to the intriguing image, and your repetition of the line is thought-provoking. You've included various elements of the journey through life's with all the right and wrong decisions made, along with the ever-present awareness of the time. Well done! Interesting and different - and thought-provoking.
Wendy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Wendy, thank you so much! It am glad it got the thoughts flowing... Jim