Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Recess"Musings of an old man - 2022
62 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
I haven't attempted this poetry form, a Double Refrain Kyrielle. By briefly familiarizing myself with the form on Wikipedia, I was compelled to admire this excellent poem, so functional within a strict design. Exalted in its combination with With Winslow Homer's great painting, "Snap the Whip," the kyrielle might benefit from having used the same title; 'recess' feels a little spindly to me.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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I haven't attempted this poetry form, a Double Refrain Kyrielle. By briefly familiarizing myself with the form on Wikipedia, I was compelled to admire this excellent poem, so functional within a strict design. Exalted in its combination with With Winslow Homer's great painting, "Snap the Whip," the kyrielle might benefit from having used the same title; 'recess' feels a little spindly to me.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Frank, that would have been a great title. thanks much, Jim
Comment from Brian Grimes
I could actually feel the warm air and the joy of running free on the last day of school. It reminds me of field days in elementary school. Well done!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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I could actually feel the warm air and the joy of running free on the last day of school. It reminds me of field days in elementary school. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Brian, yes those days of warmer weather and playtime were special.
Comment from Terry Broxson
A well-written club entry, I think it will be well received. The artwork and the poem harken back to yesteryear. The game in the picture looks like "red rover." Recess is certainly different today. Good job. Terry.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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A well-written club entry, I think it will be well received. The artwork and the poem harken back to yesteryear. The game in the picture looks like "red rover." Recess is certainly different today. Good job. Terry.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Terry - thanks much!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Loved the sentiments and the rhymes. The metre has a few hiccups, but overall your poem flowed well and I enjoyed this entertaining poem, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Loved the sentiments and the rhymes. The metre has a few hiccups, but overall your poem flowed well and I enjoyed this entertaining poem, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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As always, thank you, Dolly. As you know I will always continue to strive for improvement and your comments do help!
Comment from Janet Foor
Awe, sweet memories of a simpler time when schoolyards were a safe place to play.
Excellent kyrielle. I loved the repeating line.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Awe, sweet memories of a simpler time when schoolyards were a safe place to play.
Excellent kyrielle. I loved the repeating line.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Janet, thank you so much for your review and comments.
Comment from LisaMay
Your poem is effectively descriptive of both the school's setting and the children's activities - soon school will be over; no wonder the kids are cavorting. The repeat line works well and your rhyming and rhythm make this an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Your poem is effectively descriptive of both the school's setting and the children's activities - soon school will be over; no wonder the kids are cavorting. The repeat line works well and your rhyming and rhythm make this an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thank you, LisaMay, I hope that you are doing well as summer advances.
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It's not summer where I am - we've got winter here in New Zealand.
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OMG did miss that for certain! Smiling back!
Comment from Wendy G
I like this double refrain kyrielle. Your theme is just right for the image and you wrote it with skill. The metre and rhyme are very smooth and effective too. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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I like this double refrain kyrielle. Your theme is just right for the image and you wrote it with skill. The metre and rhyme are very smooth and effective too. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Wendy - I hope you are getting along well as you enjoy your Fall weather transition.
Comment from Beck Fenton
Whew. You really like to impress me with your knowledge, don't you? What a complicated entry to create and bring recess to life. Thank goodness for your author's notes. Very well done, sir!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Whew. You really like to impress me with your knowledge, don't you? What a complicated entry to create and bring recess to life. Thank goodness for your author's notes. Very well done, sir!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Beck, the beauty of FanStory is the ongoing opportunity to explore the various clubs and be introduced to all types of poetic forms. Prior to joining FS in 2018 I was not skilled in any of these at all. I hope that you find this site a playground of discovery as rewarding as I do!
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I'll think about expanding my horizons! Thanks.
Comment from Aussie
loved your rendition of the painting 'Fun in the Sun.' I can't write about an American painting. Children are all the same all over the world, they look forward to the school holidays. K xx
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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loved your rendition of the painting 'Fun in the Sun.' I can't write about an American painting. Children are all the same all over the world, they look forward to the school holidays. K xx
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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K Thank you for your special six star validation.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Recess' , is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. It was a privilege to read and review this talented poet's work. To me this is definitely a six. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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'Recess' , is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. It was a privilege to read and review this talented poet's work. To me this is definitely a six. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Duchess, you gift of six stars is so very appreciated, I trust you are having the highest and best in everything that life has to offer you.
JLR, Your six, sparkling stars were definitely well deserved. The best life has to offer is hopefully in the offing.
the Duchess