I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Here We Go Again"A collection of crowns of sonnets
42 total reviews
Comment from royowen
There's something that appears to luridly clear, from what I've been reading, that somehow they'll be rid of the school shootings by doing everything rather, or other than be rid of the easy accessibility of prime killing devices, every country has its disturbed folk residing in them, the one difference is the availability of GUNS. Even the Christians there choose deception. I'm sorry Mike, writing a crown of sonnets is a most commendable way of showing you brilliance, only a few have aspired to these attempts, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-May-2022
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There's something that appears to luridly clear, from what I've been reading, that somehow they'll be rid of the school shootings by doing everything rather, or other than be rid of the easy accessibility of prime killing devices, every country has its disturbed folk residing in them, the one difference is the availability of GUNS. Even the Christians there choose deception. I'm sorry Mike, writing a crown of sonnets is a most commendable way of showing you brilliance, only a few have aspired to these attempts, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 29-May-2022
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Thanks, Roy :-). I kept reading opinions about the solution - more security, fewer guns, better mental health awareness and care, more emphasis on values during upbringing... And I thought yes - all of those! Yet everyone yelling their opinion does so to the exclusion of all others. Hence, I needed to vent - in all directions, lol. How about, everyone's got a point, and what's needed is a multi-thread approach, and who cares if that means one party doesn't magically have the complete solution.
Sorry, got me started lol. Thanks so much for the encouraging review!
Mike
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America needs to do what works with the rest of the world, it only happens there with incredible frequency, we are similar in every way to America, opinions are of the Heart,...totally unreliable. Bless you. These kids are dying, they need to be safe, Bless you Mike
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No disagreement there, Roy. If there's no gun to be easily picked up, things would be a lot less lethal!
Mike
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your crown of sonnets read well as far as I could tell,
Mike. There was smooth flow, good rhymes, great imagery,
and a sound message. I can't comment on the meter, but
as I said it sounded smooth. Your message is stark and
biting. Yes, politicians seem to ignore those they represent
once they get elected by them. The issue of gun violence
is a volatile one.I could tell you worked long and hard to
get this in the shape it is.
Great job, Jan
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
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Your crown of sonnets read well as far as I could tell,
Mike. There was smooth flow, good rhymes, great imagery,
and a sound message. I can't comment on the meter, but
as I said it sounded smooth. Your message is stark and
biting. Yes, politicians seem to ignore those they represent
once they get elected by them. The issue of gun violence
is a volatile one.I could tell you worked long and hard to
get this in the shape it is.
Great job, Jan
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
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Thank you, Jan. As far as I'm concerned, if something reads smoothly then the meter is working. It only gets contentious on words when different pronunciations can create different syllable counts, but that's another discussion. My hope here was to comment equally and in all directions about how people react (recognising that I'm doing it too). I'm glad you liked it :-)
Mike
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This poem gives the reader a lot to eat. I love the structure of it. I love how each line is repeated at the beginning of each following verse. That you were able to write such a meaty poem without making the rhyme scheme seem forced is magical. Basically, I enjoy your writing because everyone, anyone on any given day need to be punched and you punch us all with your words. I don't have any 6's but this piece is so deserving.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
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This poem gives the reader a lot to eat. I love the structure of it. I love how each line is repeated at the beginning of each following verse. That you were able to write such a meaty poem without making the rhyme scheme seem forced is magical. Basically, I enjoy your writing because everyone, anyone on any given day need to be punched and you punch us all with your words. I don't have any 6's but this piece is so deserving.
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
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Thanks so much, Sandra :-). It interests me when these things happen how everyone feels the need to broadcast how terrible it is (as though they think there's an opposing faction who support school shootings). Suddenly, everyone's pre-existing agenda is being touted as the magic fix. In reality, of course, a solution is going to be multi-faceted and probably include many of the thoughts on all sides of the argument. As so often happens in life, people who probably agree with one another on a fundamental level are arguing instead of cooperating because they only see their agenda.
Mike
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You are most welcome! There are no easy answers because compromised died years ago.
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
I am sad. I am jaded. I am lacking hope in humanity. Our society is messed up so much that when children are being killed it makes money. It really does seem like a lunatic asylum, doesn't it? And still, I don't think most of the people are aware of their part in it and would try to stop it if they thought they could. It's bigger than one person, and, as you so aptly demonstrate, it encompasses so many parts of society that everything gets entangled. You just made my emotions well up so much with this poem. You are quite the wordsmith!
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
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I am sad. I am jaded. I am lacking hope in humanity. Our society is messed up so much that when children are being killed it makes money. It really does seem like a lunatic asylum, doesn't it? And still, I don't think most of the people are aware of their part in it and would try to stop it if they thought they could. It's bigger than one person, and, as you so aptly demonstrate, it encompasses so many parts of society that everything gets entangled. You just made my emotions well up so much with this poem. You are quite the wordsmith!
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
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Thank you, Sam, for sharing your thoughts and reaction. I think any solution needs to come from all sides of the argument, but instead they're too busy taking the opportunity to push what they already thought. As you say, I'm sure most commentators would love to help but either can't or get too caught up in the moment to resist a bit of self-aggrandising.
Mike
Comment from Janet Foor
First, I commend your for writing a crown of sonnets. That is an amazing feat. Your rhyme and meter are stop on. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance earning a six star rating.
My response to your well written sonnet is not a criticism but also an observation that I read from a retired State Police officer who lives down the block from me. Here is what he says children need.
1. Children need a mother and a father who love each other and work together as a team.
2. Children need a bicycle, neighbors, and cousins.
3. Children need a grandma to bake with and a grandpa to take em fishing.
4. Children need a church, a Sunday School Class, and a truth telling Preacher.
5. Children need a dinner time with home cooked food, prayer, and conversation.
6. Children need Sunday afternoon football and fried chicken.
7. Children need books on tape and coloring pages.
8. Children need summers at the beach and bazooka bubble gum.
9. Children need a trip to Arlington and Fourth of July Fireworks.
10. Children need fire pits, smores, ghost stories, the drive in, and real popcorn.
11. Children need discipline from their parents.
12. Children need chores, a job, a way to earn what they want.
13. Children need education that recognizes mama and daddy as the authority, God as the creator, and the Bible as the roadmap.
This is not about some agenda, this is about children. Get back to basics: faith, family, & good ole fashioned fun.
I thought it was worth sharing.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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First, I commend your for writing a crown of sonnets. That is an amazing feat. Your rhyme and meter are stop on. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance earning a six star rating.
My response to your well written sonnet is not a criticism but also an observation that I read from a retired State Police officer who lives down the block from me. Here is what he says children need.
1. Children need a mother and a father who love each other and work together as a team.
2. Children need a bicycle, neighbors, and cousins.
3. Children need a grandma to bake with and a grandpa to take em fishing.
4. Children need a church, a Sunday School Class, and a truth telling Preacher.
5. Children need a dinner time with home cooked food, prayer, and conversation.
6. Children need Sunday afternoon football and fried chicken.
7. Children need books on tape and coloring pages.
8. Children need summers at the beach and bazooka bubble gum.
9. Children need a trip to Arlington and Fourth of July Fireworks.
10. Children need fire pits, smores, ghost stories, the drive in, and real popcorn.
11. Children need discipline from their parents.
12. Children need chores, a job, a way to earn what they want.
13. Children need education that recognizes mama and daddy as the authority, God as the creator, and the Bible as the roadmap.
This is not about some agenda, this is about children. Get back to basics: faith, family, & good ole fashioned fun.
I thought it was worth sharing.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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I agree with the vast majority of that - I think, as a society (bearing in mind, I'm from the UK which is slightly (but only slightly) different), we need to take responsibility for raising children to believe in decency and, more importantly, civilisation. It only works if people subscribe to, and respect and understand, laws and the agreements we make so living together works. I'm not a man of God (they are rarer on these shores, and I was brought up with no religion whatsoever), but I can see how faith helps reinforce a framework.
Thank you for the awesome review and for sharing your insights :-)
Mike
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Nice crown of sonnets, it's very long and informative.
A good poem with a great presentation and imagery. It flows well with beautifully descriptive words that paint a clear vision.
--The form is well executed.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Nice crown of sonnets, it's very long and informative.
A good poem with a great presentation and imagery. It flows well with beautifully descriptive words that paint a clear vision.
--The form is well executed.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Thank you, Gypsy - I'm glad you liked it :-)
Mike
Comment from karenina
It's a mirror held up in this madhouse and who among us wants to recognize our image?
It's ad shares and corporate margins and numbers of clicks and playing to stage right or left with pre-written monologues of incessant chatter.
Chatter that dissects and bisects grief into digestible little morsels that we, the public puppets can ingest without needing a probiotic...
(Or at minimum, make it a probiotic made by a well-lobbied pharma company!)
We are cursed. Every one of us is cursed with that most heinous of conditions. 20/20 hindsight.
It's the guns, it's the ammo, it's the mental health system, the parents, social media, racism, the response time of the police, and the mixed messages in press releases.
It's that magician's trick of distraction. If it's everything then it becomes nothing. A puff of smoke and on to the next grand illusion!
When you add enough water to the soup it's just bland roiling pots of distilled non-sustaining "fodder." We'll all starve to death...but we'll have spoons in our hands.
A nod to the expertise of your crown of sonnets. Your skill should not be lost to the emotions bubbling to the top.
I've been an RN for over 35 years. I've not yet seen a dying person utter political pablum in final breaths. Curious how such sentiments fall to the wayside as we begin to focus on life in our rearview mirror...
It's all become posturing ~ ~polling ~~ finding your focus group and hey-- (Ted C.) -- why not say arm the teachers? Hell, that'll fly!
Or--hey (insert cable news channel) --let's parade grief-stricken parents and siblings 24/7 on the screen. Are they weeping? Great! Camera One! Our ratings will skyrocket!
I'm ranting.
Not nearly so eloquently as I'd like.
Certainly not with the skill and perception you've brought to the table.
Your observation is the purest form of analysis.
At this moment it's poets 1, journalists 0.
Ludicrous to even be discussing "ratings" here.
I've offered all the stars I have...
That, and my respect!
Karenina
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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It's a mirror held up in this madhouse and who among us wants to recognize our image?
It's ad shares and corporate margins and numbers of clicks and playing to stage right or left with pre-written monologues of incessant chatter.
Chatter that dissects and bisects grief into digestible little morsels that we, the public puppets can ingest without needing a probiotic...
(Or at minimum, make it a probiotic made by a well-lobbied pharma company!)
We are cursed. Every one of us is cursed with that most heinous of conditions. 20/20 hindsight.
It's the guns, it's the ammo, it's the mental health system, the parents, social media, racism, the response time of the police, and the mixed messages in press releases.
It's that magician's trick of distraction. If it's everything then it becomes nothing. A puff of smoke and on to the next grand illusion!
When you add enough water to the soup it's just bland roiling pots of distilled non-sustaining "fodder." We'll all starve to death...but we'll have spoons in our hands.
A nod to the expertise of your crown of sonnets. Your skill should not be lost to the emotions bubbling to the top.
I've been an RN for over 35 years. I've not yet seen a dying person utter political pablum in final breaths. Curious how such sentiments fall to the wayside as we begin to focus on life in our rearview mirror...
It's all become posturing ~ ~polling ~~ finding your focus group and hey-- (Ted C.) -- why not say arm the teachers? Hell, that'll fly!
Or--hey (insert cable news channel) --let's parade grief-stricken parents and siblings 24/7 on the screen. Are they weeping? Great! Camera One! Our ratings will skyrocket!
I'm ranting.
Not nearly so eloquently as I'd like.
Certainly not with the skill and perception you've brought to the table.
Your observation is the purest form of analysis.
At this moment it's poets 1, journalists 0.
Ludicrous to even be discussing "ratings" here.
I've offered all the stars I have...
That, and my respect!
Karenina
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Your respect is worth more than any stars, so I accept with gratitude. Thank you for such a thoughtful and insightful response. I wrote this much straighter than most of my poetry because I didn't want people thinking I was disappearing up my own arse (which I freely admit can happen lol) when the subject matter is already sensitive. I'm going to have to write a really complicated, properly polysyllabic piece soon just to get all the showy, pretentious (ie fun) thoughts out!
Interestingly (and this is a sign of the great victim fetish complex) several people have assumed my view is the opposite of theirs, because they've latched onto the one section that they think is aimed at them, and ignored all the others.
I generally maintain political neutrality - partly because I have no interest in the arguments, but mostly because my views are not fully represented by either major party in the UK, and I'm too good at seeing all sides of an argument. As you say, and as I suspected, political opinions are not what matter when life is measured in moments.
Perhaps I'm cynical, but the driving force of this poem is, as you note, that everyone's too busy yelling their own viewpoint to wonder if they're acting in poor taste, and I'll happily point that finger in every direction (archly acknowledging I'm guilty of the same thing by satirising them in a way that also perpetrates what I'm sending up - there you go, disappearing up my own arse again!)
What I mean to say is, thank you for the awesome review and for sharing your reactions and thoughts with me.
Mike
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Yes.
What you said!
Ditto!
K
Comment from pome lover
unless I am mistaken, and I could be, in your observation, you are against anyone having a gun, period. That the world would be a better place with more love and understanding.
Well, as history has shown, the best defense is a good offense. Be prepared, as the boy scout motto advocates.
Unfortunately, there are baddies in this world and people need to be able to defend themselves and their families.
If the school board, principal and teachers in Uvalde, TX had taken the precautionary measures advised after one of the past school shootings,
and trained personnel had been armed, the horrible occurrence might have been avoided.
Unfortunately, we do not live in Shangri-La.
Katharine
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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unless I am mistaken, and I could be, in your observation, you are against anyone having a gun, period. That the world would be a better place with more love and understanding.
Well, as history has shown, the best defense is a good offense. Be prepared, as the boy scout motto advocates.
Unfortunately, there are baddies in this world and people need to be able to defend themselves and their families.
If the school board, principal and teachers in Uvalde, TX had taken the precautionary measures advised after one of the past school shootings,
and trained personnel had been armed, the horrible occurrence might have been avoided.
Unfortunately, we do not live in Shangri-La.
Katharine
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Hi Katharine. I would say I don't think there's any simple answer. My intent was to satirise how everyone (including poets like me) takes the opportunity to air their views when such a thing happens, despite not really knowing how to change things. Hence, taking aim (pardon the pun) at all the messages I've been seeing ' less guns, more gun, more prayers, legislate, de-legislate etc. Journalists, especially, seem to see dollar signs and the chance to get more clicks if they can say something outrageous or misleadingly 'earnest'.
Many thanks for your response :-)
Mike
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well, I'll tell you something, Mike, I don't give a hoot about the clicks or the "money". When I get hot under the collar about what's being done, deliberately, to our country, I let it out on FS because I can. It's therapeutic. People don't have to read it or grade it. I have found some like- minded souls who agree with me, on FS, but I believe the majority of American members don't like or agree with what I write. Like Trump or not, there is a long list of the great things he accomplished for this country while being attacked the entire time by Congress, the media, Hollywood and the Dems. I cannot name ONE GOOD THING Joe Biden has done for this country, in fact he has ruined it beyond recognition. And now he wants to leave us (the individual) defenseless. Oh, and I think those you talked about who do write about these things, do so because they care, terribly, and are angry and worried. I know you also meant some anti-gun folks.
Comment from juliaSjames
Composing a crown of sonnets is a feat in itself, and adding satire requires another layer of expertise. Plus considerable chutzpah!
I'm not an expert in rhymed poetry but I give you full credit for using the form with panache.
I know that horror and grief express in many different ways, including the use of satire.You are an equal opportunity satirist, painting with a broad brush to produce a brilliant piece.
However, I couldn't smile. I have school age grandchildren and the US is a country in which kids undergo regular terrorism drills just as they do hurricane and tornado drills. It's hard for me not to imagine the last moments of those little ones when the nightmare scenario they practiced to avoid came to pass.
Whatever caused this horror; lack of gun controls - there are gun shops in every city centre in the US mostly run by ex cops; lack of mental health care; political triggers by ruthless politicians firing up (sic) their followers; conspiracy theories; or a toxic combination of everything; I believe there are also evil forces in this our world ("principalities and powers") It's frightening.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Composing a crown of sonnets is a feat in itself, and adding satire requires another layer of expertise. Plus considerable chutzpah!
I'm not an expert in rhymed poetry but I give you full credit for using the form with panache.
I know that horror and grief express in many different ways, including the use of satire.You are an equal opportunity satirist, painting with a broad brush to produce a brilliant piece.
However, I couldn't smile. I have school age grandchildren and the US is a country in which kids undergo regular terrorism drills just as they do hurricane and tornado drills. It's hard for me not to imagine the last moments of those little ones when the nightmare scenario they practiced to avoid came to pass.
Whatever caused this horror; lack of gun controls - there are gun shops in every city centre in the US mostly run by ex cops; lack of mental health care; political triggers by ruthless politicians firing up (sic) their followers; conspiracy theories; or a toxic combination of everything; I believe there are also evil forces in this our world ("principalities and powers") It's frightening.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Julia. Of course, there is indeed nothing at all funny about the situation, which only serves to make comedy more effective, for me. I hoped to expose the dishonest histrionics I see from all sides and parties when these things happen. Suddenly, everyone's pre-held agenda happens to be the only solution - how handy is that!
Thank you for seeing the spirit I intended :-).
Mike
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There is a creolese saying in Guyana, my country of birth
"Ting fuh cry you ah laff"
That's how we human beings cope!
Blessings Julia
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was amazing, Mike, and spot on for what has happened in Texas. So many innocent lives taken, it is so sad, and totally avoidable. Stop selling guns! It's the only way. I think everyone now is crying for the gun laws to be changed.
This poem, satire that it is, is a work of art! It was an incredible achievement to get it so right, and the words were perfect! Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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That was amazing, Mike, and spot on for what has happened in Texas. So many innocent lives taken, it is so sad, and totally avoidable. Stop selling guns! It's the only way. I think everyone now is crying for the gun laws to be changed.
This poem, satire that it is, is a work of art! It was an incredible achievement to get it so right, and the words were perfect! Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Thank you, Sandra :-). I'm thrilled you liked it.
Mike