Pistol Packin' Petticoat
A prequel to Tin Stars and Yankee Gold31 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Whew, this is really long but you got a great book started, Earl! I guess I understand why you had to at least bring her to where she got closer to meeting one of her brothers. I love the names you chose and the sprinkling of American history that you put in the story. Hope you do well in the contest!
Comments:
I was slow to get to this so I don't know if you changed any of this.
I wasn't sure if you meant for the repetition below:
"how to work cain't see to cain't see."
"How about a dollar a day and room and board, Sarah here is a fair to middlin' cook? (needs a close quote)
But when the fell out from bottom beaver trade (when the bottom fell out from the beaver trade?)
"Preciate it, Hoss." (Who's Hoss? Is that another name for Jake?)
They decided to giver her the last name (give)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Whew, this is really long but you got a great book started, Earl! I guess I understand why you had to at least bring her to where she got closer to meeting one of her brothers. I love the names you chose and the sprinkling of American history that you put in the story. Hope you do well in the contest!
Comments:
I was slow to get to this so I don't know if you changed any of this.
I wasn't sure if you meant for the repetition below:
"how to work cain't see to cain't see."
"How about a dollar a day and room and board, Sarah here is a fair to middlin' cook? (needs a close quote)
But when the fell out from bottom beaver trade (when the bottom fell out from the beaver trade?)
"Preciate it, Hoss." (Who's Hoss? Is that another name for Jake?)
They decided to giver her the last name (give)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Hi. Yeah I fixed most of that already. Andy called Jake Hoss, it was a normal nickname between Mountain Men. Working can't see to can't see is working sunup to sundown. Thank you very much, appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from poetwatch
Well, you got yourself a tale of a western, Earl. You kept me interested and I read it all. It's good. Yet at the beginning, I kinda had to slow down and figure out what you wrote. You got an extra (a) "Ferguson was a tall for a girl," maybe (was a'tall for a girl?) and when Andy was talking with Logan your "cain't see to cain't see" had me trying to figure what you meant. I know you mean before the sun comes up to when it goes down, but it took me awhile. :) Good western. Keep it up.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Well, you got yourself a tale of a western, Earl. You kept me interested and I read it all. It's good. Yet at the beginning, I kinda had to slow down and figure out what you wrote. You got an extra (a) "Ferguson was a tall for a girl," maybe (was a'tall for a girl?) and when Andy was talking with Logan your "cain't see to cain't see" had me trying to figure what you meant. I know you mean before the sun comes up to when it goes down, but it took me awhile. :) Good western. Keep it up.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Good job, Earl. I enjoyed the story very much. I am so happy I was able to read it this morning. This morning I am feeling mush better and hope it means I am on the road to recovery. I will try to stay with your story. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Good job, Earl. I enjoyed the story very much. I am so happy I was able to read it this morning. This morning I am feeling mush better and hope it means I am on the road to recovery. I will try to stay with your story. Nancy:)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much for the six stars Nancy. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from aryr
Good luck wishes in the Western Writing Contest, Earl. The picture sure was a pretty one. The idea that you created was great. It was so nice of Grandma to related to Miss Maddie the story of her creation, just before she died. This was very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Good luck wishes in the Western Writing Contest, Earl. The picture sure was a pretty one. The idea that you created was great. It was so nice of Grandma to related to Miss Maddie the story of her creation, just before she died. This was very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
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You are most welcome, Earl.
Comment from dmt1967
She much preferred the lessons her grandfather had given her than attending the tea parties her Granny had (ma de) her attend. (made)
He quicky got to his feet and approached the horse thief from behind. Just as (the) the would-be thief was swinging into the saddle Brady grasped ahold of the middle of thief's gun belt and yanked. (delete)
Great story. Wish I had a six left. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. I hope there is more to the story. I would like to know if she found her family.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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She much preferred the lessons her grandfather had given her than attending the tea parties her Granny had (ma de) her attend. (made)
He quicky got to his feet and approached the horse thief from behind. Just as (the) the would-be thief was swinging into the saddle Brady grasped ahold of the middle of thief's gun belt and yanked. (delete)
Great story. Wish I had a six left. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. I hope there is more to the story. I would like to know if she found her family.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from damommy
Very interesting story. It held my interest from the very first to the very last. As you said, it is a little long, but I'm sure you can correct that part from now on. It seems she shot the wrong outlaws and ended up with the third one. Keep it going. 8-)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Very interesting story. It held my interest from the very first to the very last. As you said, it is a little long, but I'm sure you can correct that part from now on. It seems she shot the wrong outlaws and ended up with the third one. Keep it going. 8-)
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from royowen
This was very long, but a good read, and worth the effort, the heroes are string, especially Miss Maddie. The adventures and the tale are a worthwhile read and a most enjoyable journey, well done Earl, just loved it, blessings Roy
Typo : (When the fell out from bottom beaver trade) but when the bottom fell out of the beaver trade? 2: her granny had ma(a)de her attend. 3 :the(n) Elmer was in shock...
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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This was very long, but a good read, and worth the effort, the heroes are string, especially Miss Maddie. The adventures and the tale are a worthwhile read and a most enjoyable journey, well done Earl, just loved it, blessings Roy
Typo : (When the fell out from bottom beaver trade) but when the bottom fell out of the beaver trade? 2: her granny had ma(a)de her attend. 3 :the(n) Elmer was in shock...
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much Roy. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
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Well done
Comment from BethShelby
I hope you plan to go somewhere with the story. It is good Western story and a good entry for the Western contest. It was interesting enough that I didn't notice that it was long. I'd like to find what happen to Miss Dolly Madison when she meets her brother. I wonder if she will become a gangster herself.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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I hope you plan to go somewhere with the story. It is good Western story and a good entry for the Western contest. It was interesting enough that I didn't notice that it was long. I'd like to find what happen to Miss Dolly Madison when she meets her brother. I wonder if she will become a gangster herself.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with her yet. Boone Tyler and Brady Ford are characters in my new novel Tin Stars and Yankee Gold. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this contest entry. I think you have a good story on your hands. I copied some dialogue but there are plenty more. Each person speaking gets their own paragraph. I know it makes for a longer post, but still.
"Grandmother, how are you?"
"My race is nearly run, child, but before I go to my reward, I had to tell you the truth."
"What truth?"
"The truth about who you really are, it all started about 30 years ago..... (Each person's dialogue deserves their own paragraph.)
"He's declaring himself, Papa."
"For what? Your hand in marriage?". (each person's dialogue deserves their own paragraph.)
Tyler independent streak in her.She much preferred the lessons her grandfather had given her to attending the tea parties her Granny had maade her attend. (space after the period after 'her' and MADE??)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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I enjoyed reading this contest entry. I think you have a good story on your hands. I copied some dialogue but there are plenty more. Each person speaking gets their own paragraph. I know it makes for a longer post, but still.
"Grandmother, how are you?"
"My race is nearly run, child, but before I go to my reward, I had to tell you the truth."
"What truth?"
"The truth about who you really are, it all started about 30 years ago..... (Each person's dialogue deserves their own paragraph.)
"He's declaring himself, Papa."
"For what? Your hand in marriage?". (each person's dialogue deserves their own paragraph.)
Tyler independent streak in her.She much preferred the lessons her grandfather had given her to attending the tea parties her Granny had maade her attend. (space after the period after 'her' and MADE??)
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from Shirley McLain
A chapter full of revelations and action. You did a good job, and I enjoyed the read. I found a couple of things to tell you about.
Ferguson was a tall for a girl, (remove the first a)
But when the fell out from bottom beaver trade Andy (but when the bottom fell out from the beaver trade....)
Have a great afternoon. Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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A chapter full of revelations and action. You did a good job, and I enjoyed the read. I found a couple of things to tell you about.
Ferguson was a tall for a girl, (remove the first a)
But when the fell out from bottom beaver trade Andy (but when the bottom fell out from the beaver trade....)
Have a great afternoon. Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
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Did you base your 4 star rating off those two errors, os was there another reason?
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Hi, yes I did base the four on the errors. I will be glad to make it a five. Let me know when it's corrected. Shirley
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I corrected them