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Eavesdroppers Are We All

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Eavesdroppers Are We All, Sc. 3"
A Reader Caught in the Middle of an Intrigue

26 total reviews 
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I feel the issues, conflicts, and tensions rumbling below the surface, but as of yet I haven't seen any real conflict that grabs my attention and makes the scene memorable and crisp. I'm waiting for it, though. You have me intrigued enough by strangers being caught in a diner to keep reading!!!!

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
    As with any good cauldron, it's only when all the ingredients are added and a fire fully involved beneath, that the boiling begins. The water will continue to warm through scene four and come to a rolling boil in the fifth scene. Awwww, but I understand, compadre. Stay tuned.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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You are a clever writer, not at all predictable , but then I think you love to build something entirely different, such two invisible main characters, even to the extant of having and old someone called Jay taking character back seat, something like Alfred Hitchcock, well done Jay, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much, Roy. Yeah, I try not to be predictable, in either the plot or the dialogue. How interesting your observation of Jay. I wish I'd named him something other than Jay, but he had to be connected with my "Sins of the Grandfather" poem. You are so kind, Roy.
reply by royowen on 18-Jan-2022
    A pleasure
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent. Perfectly written.
It's difficult, sometimes, to separate review responsibilities - gauge the writing, or the story plot, or both. I wouldn't think it fair to downwardly assess a piece simply because you would direct a character to a different angle.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Wayne. Your six stars and kind words gave my heart a lift when I read them this morning.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Jaunty pace and spirited banter--the interactions are nuanced and ring true to circumstances--testiness apropos to being snowbound with strangers.


[sitting in a rather indiscrete=>INDISCREET

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
    Indiscreet! Right you are. You know something? I never made that mistake until Dictionary.com came along with the word indiscrete, with an entirely different meaning. From then on it was the same problem I have between desert and dessert. Which to choose, which to choose. I'd better fix that now, before I forget.
reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 16-Jan-2022
    Their are many such duel word pares.

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 16-Jan-2022
    Though I can no longer post or review, I'll be keeping up with correspondence--if I don't catch you first--message me and I'll respond!
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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Oh good--it seems Rudy is not just one of the character's pet but is an integral part of this play. The dialogue flows very well, Jay. Their being snowed-in reminds me of "The Mist." :))

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 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
    I'm not familiar with "The Mist". Kimbob suggested a similar constellation of characters in a confined area to the "Poseidon Adventure", which I'd heard of but hadn't seen. Yes, the character of Rudy was taken from my non-fiction piece, "Rudy". His sole function is to be a catalyst, just as the original Rudy was a catalyst bringing out the best and the worst of my wife and myself.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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Haha. I like Harry's philosophical answer to the question: who he is.
Not sure why no one claims the dog. I thought 'scribe" is used in doctor's office. This whole play is absurd and I like it.

Well done and can't wait to read the next scene.

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 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
    Hmmm, I've never heard of scribe as referring to anything connected with a doctor's office. Yes, it is a mystery that Rudy just showed up, isn't it?