Greener Pastures
smitten18 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Your biographical piece clearly conveys your appreciation of having moved from the city to the "meadows". I admired your short, thought-provoking opening line and vivid observations of nature. Your description of yourself as a "voyeur" was intriguing, and I am glad you kept the fantasy going until your note about the "stunning horse"! Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Your biographical piece clearly conveys your appreciation of having moved from the city to the "meadows". I admired your short, thought-provoking opening line and vivid observations of nature. Your description of yourself as a "voyeur" was intriguing, and I am glad you kept the fantasy going until your note about the "stunning horse"! Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 14-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Joan, how are you? Thank you so very much. Think I am steering away from poetry to short stories. Thank you so very much!!
Jimi
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I enjoy your prose but also look forward to more poetry as well. My peripheral neuropathy is not responding to the new laser treatment, but I keep fighting. Take good care of yourself- Joan
Comment from Insignificant Weed
Could I get into this! This is a superior job of dealing with life's disappointments and looking to a new start. There was no wallowing in depression, dragging yourself up from the bottom or feeling sorry for yourself. I think that most people would agree that nature brings a solace to the soul. And not only that - you made a new friend. I like the way you indicated that this friendship developed over time and that you had to "feel" each other out.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Could I get into this! This is a superior job of dealing with life's disappointments and looking to a new start. There was no wallowing in depression, dragging yourself up from the bottom or feeling sorry for yourself. I think that most people would agree that nature brings a solace to the soul. And not only that - you made a new friend. I like the way you indicated that this friendship developed over time and that you had to "feel" each other out.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Susan, I am truly humbled! Thank you so very much!
I never wallowed in depression but became overwhelmed with hurt and obsessed with trying to understand. But today I have come a long way and all I can say is ?What was I thinking? He was not my type! Lol.
Anyway, I reside in absolute beauty and contentment. Thank you so very much for your exceptional review!
Jlsavell
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Hey, I gave you 6 stars on that one! Keep up the good work.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ahhhhhhhhh. How wonderful it is to be in love, huh?
The sun seems to shine a bit brighter.
The air seems to smell a bit sweeter.
The moon seems to glow a bit more luminously.
And the brisk, balmy breezes of spring, summer and early autumn seem to refresh the senses just a wee bit more.
But I've no time nor use for love, not after all that it has done to me.
Friends with benefits--fulfilling of the most primal, carnal desires.
That's all I need.
But...to each their own...
Good luck in your contest, Jimi.
~Dean
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Ahhhhhhhhh. How wonderful it is to be in love, huh?
The sun seems to shine a bit brighter.
The air seems to smell a bit sweeter.
The moon seems to glow a bit more luminously.
And the brisk, balmy breezes of spring, summer and early autumn seem to refresh the senses just a wee bit more.
But I've no time nor use for love, not after all that it has done to me.
Friends with benefits--fulfilling of the most primal, carnal desires.
That's all I need.
But...to each their own...
Good luck in your contest, Jimi.
~Dean
Comment Written 14-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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My dearest Dean!! I have missed you.
It may surprise you but I have been where you are. It is painful, but this isn?t about falling in love in a conjugal relationship...this is about a beautiful horse whose name he has not given me yet. Lol. He comes to the fence every morning now to greet me and Achilles. Being out in the open air , miles from civilization imbues my spirit and believe it or not, has aided me greatly in the healing process from ultimate betrayal and hurt. But no more!! I just say ?His loss ... not mine by a long shot!? And you will get there too. May God bless your journey and the broken road of one who broke your heart.
Thank you Dean!!
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I too live on a farm, far, far away from civilization, Jimi.
It's so serene and peaceful here that I would never--not in a million years--consider going back to he hustle and bustle of city life.
Be blessed, my dear, and good luck!
~Dean ;)
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Yes, it is peaceful. I love it. Right now it is raining.
You know where to find me if you need to talk.
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Will do... :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I so enjoyed your well written story that kept my interest from the very first word. I wish you luck in your new home and I believe it was worth the move. I especially liked your description of city life with the refuse collection, horns etc., you now have peace in the evenings and weekends. I was there with you in the morning and saw through your eyes your lovely outlook and I felt the tranquility, I wish I had a six for you, your write gave me joy this morning, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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I so enjoyed your well written story that kept my interest from the very first word. I wish you luck in your new home and I believe it was worth the move. I especially liked your description of city life with the refuse collection, horns etc., you now have peace in the evenings and weekends. I was there with you in the morning and saw through your eyes your lovely outlook and I felt the tranquility, I wish I had a six for you, your write gave me joy this morning, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Dolly,
It was worth the move! I wake up to paradise and stress free from city life and worries.
Thank you so much . I appreciate you.
Jimi
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed your story and I think it's a good entry for this competition. It flows well and is easy to read. I especially enjoyed the ending. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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I enjoyed your story and I think it's a good entry for this competition. It flows well and is easy to read. I especially enjoyed the ending. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2018
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Oliver818, thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I am humbled.
Jlsavell
Comment from kiwijenny
I have just moved to rural Kentucky from Atlanta...my morning ritual is the same with cream,,I love the horse too and Achilles is a great name for a dog...especially when you say,"Heel "
Love the sweet naturalness of this piece
God bless
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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I have just moved to rural Kentucky from Atlanta...my morning ritual is the same with cream,,I love the horse too and Achilles is a great name for a dog...especially when you say,"Heel "
Love the sweet naturalness of this piece
God bless
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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kiwijenny,
thank you for stopping by to read and review my work. Rural Kentucky!!! Oh my, that is one beautiful state. How fortunate you are! thank you once again...
jiim
Comment from Nanny 6
Your writing is so meticulous, I love how you phrase your words, it's poetic, therefore makes the story that much more enjoyable, and romantic. You describe the country beautifully...makes me want to sip coffee in that kind of solitude...good luck in the contest
Judy
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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Your writing is so meticulous, I love how you phrase your words, it's poetic, therefore makes the story that much more enjoyable, and romantic. You describe the country beautifully...makes me want to sip coffee in that kind of solitude...good luck in the contest
Judy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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Judy, thank you so very much. I am honored.. jimi
Comment from Swampfox1
Why are you using bold font throughout the story? It makes it rough on the eyes.This story reminds me of the story of Tonka Wonka that was a Walt Disney children's story back in the 1950s. I feel you have done a good decent job but would recommend that you get rid of descriptions that are a dire necessity to the story, strip it down to the bare essentials so that all you have is the story. Thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful week.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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Why are you using bold font throughout the story? It makes it rough on the eyes.This story reminds me of the story of Tonka Wonka that was a Walt Disney children's story back in the 1950s. I feel you have done a good decent job but would recommend that you get rid of descriptions that are a dire necessity to the story, strip it down to the bare essentials so that all you have is the story. Thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful week.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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swampfox, I did not know it was bold font. It is not on my computer. I will try to fix. I will revisit. I am not familiar with Tonka Wonka. I cannot believe I have never heard of the story.
Thank you for the advice. I am never sure because I never write short stories. again thank you..
jimi
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You're welcome. Believe me, I am not trying to imply you copied the story, because it is nothing like the story, it just reminded me of it. Tonka Wonka should be available on google. Whatever your write, no matter what it is, always put just the bare necessities, no need to add the smell of blooming flowers or how tranquil things are because it leads to people losing interest. Fill it full of action or to the point. cool, .
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thank you. I will revisit and cut out a lot. Had no idea, but then I am not a true writer.. thank you.. means a lot.. truly
jimi
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for the best example look at a book called "Elements of Style" for the best idea you will see that it suggests the same thing.
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I have that book, I forgot I had it.. by STRUNK...YES, THANK YOU
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The one by Strunk is the old version, still a good version but the newer version is better, look for the 2017 version
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Will do. Again huge thank for I am giving up poetry and trying my hand at short stories. I have written a few but haven?t focused on them. Thank you. Now you go take on the day!
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Will do. Again huge thank for I am giving up poetry and trying my hand at short stories. I have written a few but haven?t focused on them. Thank you. Now you go take on the day!
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Thank you and I love the verbiage you use, it sounds so very beautiful. Just that in a story would beautify the sound of the story. If you ever need any help feel free to ask, I will offer what I can, I am not the best but I have some experience. You too, go take on the day. I love that.
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I will. I might be a pest.... warning